My day out to Porta Venezia Restaurant

I decided to take a little lunch-time trip to try the Italian food at Porta Venezia Restaurant in the Lippo Grand Suites on Jl. Sudirman. Why, in the middle of the campaign, I thought it would be a good idea to leave my den and travel to Jl. Sudirman, I have no idea. I assume it's because I am a very stupid person.

Naturally, I got stuck in traffic. Actually, I got stuck in convoys of motorcycles, trucks, cars and buses carrying what, to me, looked like thousands of people who were too young to vote, but were out there causing traffic jams just the same. I mean, out there campaigning for their party. Of course, they must have been traveling to a campaign rally where their party leaders were waiting to explain the intricacies of their foreign policy or highlight the tax reforms they planned to implement if elected, because street rallies are not allowed.

Surely all those people weren't out on the street because they believed revving their motorcycles was the best way, or any way, to support their party. "My party's the best," rev-rev-rev, "whoo hoo".

After being caught in traffic for hours, at last I arrived at my destination, the Lippo Suites and Porta Venezia. If you go, don't forget your camera so you can take your picture with Mickey Mouse. There really is no Mickey there, even though the whole complex has that cartoony feeling of Main Street, Disneyland. The Suites really aren't an amusement park, apparently it's just Lippo's idea of tony living. A bit nouveau riche for me, but hey, if billions of dollars suddenly fell into my lap, I might lose all sense of decorum as well.

On entering the restaurant, me and my dining companion were greeted by what, apparently, was the chef. Or just some guy who dresses really silly. The chef-looking man welcomed us warmly, kindly inquiring if we had just come from being rubbed at the next-door Oriental Health Center. If you're curious, we hadn't.

Personally, I don't like to see chefs wandering about, standing in front of the restaurant. Please, just stay in the kitchen. Chefs are like kids, they should be locked up in the kitchen and forced to slave away cooking food for strangers. Or is that they should be heard but not seen. Actually, it may be seen but not heard, in which case it wouldn't apply to chefs, who shouldn't be seen. Not having any kids of my own, never even having borrowed one for a couple of days, I really don't know much about children.

The restaurant was decorated as you would expect. There is a mural of what seems to be exceptionally well-dressed people to be toiling in the vineyard and a pair of giant black men ramming the heavens with their torches. Quite Italian, although I've never been.

I started out with the minestrone soup, which seemed a bit tomato soupy to me. But it was definitely soup, and, not having eaten anything to that point in the day, I thought it was the best soup I had ever tasted.

My companion started with the crispy bruschetta with tomato, garlic and basil. Not letting me have a taste, I can't comment on this particular appetizer, except to say it was certainly crispy.

For the main course, I tried the four cheese risotto and grilled chicken. Having already put something in my stomach, I can, without extreme hunger clouding my vision, truly say this was a delicious dish.

Of course, those four cheeses made the risotto, well, cheesy. And I love cheese. So you can imagine the risotto didn't last long. In fact, it went a little too quickly for my liking. While delicious, it was disheartening to see so much bare plate when they brought my food. However, I hear, most epicures like that, fancily presented and pretty looking food in the middle of the plate, and all around, bare china.

My companion, for some twisted reason, went vegetarian. And Porta Venezia has a special vegetarian menu for just such people. Although, I must admit, I can't approve of vegetarianism. How sick is it not to want to rend and tear a piece of formerly living tender flesh with your teeth, letting the blood dribble down your chin. It's the way of the world. The cycle of life and so on. Eating nothing but vegetables, well, it's unnatural. I get the shivers when I see someone dig into a bowl of greens.

So, my friend got a plate of vegetables and rice. He offered me a taste, but having eaten some vegetables last week, I declined. Although I can't vouch for the plate of vegies, my dining companion was quite satisfied. Neither of us, being body- image conscious, had dessert.

After paying what almost seemed like a reasonable bill, we headed back into the chaos, where it occurred to me that Porta Venezia is a nice escape from the reality of Jakarta. I forgot, for an hour, I lived here. And you all know how welcome that little bit of escapism can be. The food wasn't bad, but the really enjoyable part of the dining experience was losing myself in the fantasyland feel of the whole place. With reality what it is, we all need a little bit of fantasy.

-- Epicurus