Misadventures in learning Indonesian

On a January evening many years ago, I was suffering from a splitting headache and I had to see the doctor urgently. I was a newcomer to the country then.

I was living in the Mayestik area of Jakarta and, on my way to the office every day, I had seen a sign board at road junctions, pointing to the clinic of a "dokter hewan" on Jl. Hang Lekir, Kebayoran Baru.

I decided to walk to his place, but when I reached the clinic I realized to my horror that he was a veterinary doctor, after all.

It was a great revelation to me that "hewan" was not the name of a person but actually meant animal, thus denoting a veterinarian.

My first lesson in Bahasa Indonesia started then, and I was learning the language more by a hit-or-miss method than by any specific intention. Needless to say, I got into a few hilarious misadventures.

For several months at the beginning, I used to introduce my wife as "Saya Nyonya" (I'm the wife) instead of the correct "Nyonya saya" (This is my wife). It was a blessing in disguise that I didn't have a pet dog at home!

It then occurred to me that it was important to learn not only the vocabulary but also the word order in Bahasa Indonesia.

Of course, prior to my departure for Indonesia, my would-be boss in Jakarta had clearly warned me concerning the language problems I would face in Indonesia.

He mentioned in his letter that very few people spoke English in Jakarta. It was, therefore, imperative for me to learn Indonesian, which was supposedly easy because it followed the well-known Latin/English script.

He even sent me a book on mastering the language.

"It would be advisable for you to complete all the lessons in the book, preferably before you reach here", he had stated.

"Don't worry about the pronunciation -- you can correct that here, or better still if you know anybody from Malaysia/Indonesia, they can repeat some of the words learned by you, to give you an idea."

In all sincerity, I read a few lessons from the book before I left my Indian homeland, though I couldn't find anyone to help me out on the pronunciation, except that I was told that Indonesians had a great sense of humor, such as calling the speed-breakers on the roads "polisi tidur" (Sleeping policemen)!

In the initial stages of my life here, before becoming familiar with Indonesian names, I used to remember the names of my staff in what was the easiest way for me. Thus, "Pak Nasori" was "Pak No Sorry", and "Pak Kasino" "Pak Cash No", etc.

However, after I learned the language in a sort of rudimentary way, I used to joke with names so I could remember them easily. A person named "Suritmo" was difficult to get along with, so I simply called him "Sulitmo" from the Indonesian word sulit for difficult. A good worker named "Agus" was christened "Bagus" (good).

My vocabulary improved with the passage of time. My Indonesian staff often came to me for "ACC" (approval) of some document or other. I used to respond to them with pleasure, as, according to me, the acronym "ACC" stood for "Aku Cinta Chandramouli" (I love Chandramouli)!

And I came to like beautiful Indonesian expressions like "Salah masuk kamar" for serving the ball into the wrong court in tennis.

An Indian colleague of mine was one "Kanthimathinathan", and my company's telephone operator used to refer to him as "Kanti mati", with an emphasis on the word "mati" (dead). I reminded her not to make him a dead person, but she could never pronounce his name properly. After many attempts, I gave up and decided that the problem was one for my colleague and the operator to sort out.

During the first year of my stay, I was working in an office located on the first floor of a ruko (shop-cum-office) on Jl. Pasar Pagi in Kota.

We worked only half a day on Saturdays then. On one of those Saturdays, I was so engrossed in an important report that I forgot the time and continued working well after the closing hours.

Somebody on the ground floor switched the electricity main off to indicate that he was closing down for the day. After a few minutes, he switched it on, perhaps to help us (me and my staff) to come down the staircase.

Disregarding this disturbance, we continued with our work and after a little while, the man down below turned off the main switch once again, apparently to show his impatience. I then lost my cool and in the pitch blackness blurted out, "Siapa orang mati di bawah terus?"

I really meant to ask who was turning the light off on the ground floor. But Rema, my assistant, couldn't control his laughter and said to my astonishment: "Sir, what you just now said means 'Who is falling dead continuously on the ground floor'"?

An example of bad communication on my part, I must concede. If a language is not used properly, what is said is not what is meant.

Then again, there are some things about Indonesian that continue to frustrate me to this day.

If we look at official letters in Indonesia, they often appear to be less than focused. Isn't a simple "Terima Kasih" (Thank you) sufficient when closing a letter rather than the usual long- winded "Demikianlah" etc.?

Similarly, to this day, I don't understand why shopkeepers keep on saying "belum ada" (not yet available) when in fact they never stored or sold a particular item and they have no intention of doing so in the future, either.

Sometimes, they even tell the customers that the item is "habis" (finished) as if they had a lot of stock and had just then sold out of it. Wouldn't "Tidak ada" (not available) be a simpler, honest and straightforward answer? So, that's my little contribution for Indonesian speakers!

-- D. Chandramouli