Mien takes life's twists and turns in stride

Carla Bianpoen, Contributor, Jakarta

When Minarshi (Mien) Soedarpo wakes up on her birthday this Sunday morning, her first thoughts will probably be about her late mother, whose spiritual and morale strength have guided Mien throughout her life.

Mien's two books titled Reminiscences of The Past were written as an homage to her beloved mother, Sjarifa Nawawi.

As a young woman aged 20, Sjarifa -- a Dutch-educated Minangkabau of West Sumatra whose father had been bestowed the title of Ridder van Oranje (Knight of Orange) -- married Mien's father, R.M.A.A. Wiranatakoesoema, the regent of Bandoeng (Bandung) at the time. Seven years later she was divorced and left with three children, devoting her life to doing the best for them and never remarrying.

Mien praised her mother as a remarkable woman, a religious person with a strong sense of justice. She bore her sorrows with dignity and without malice. Her dedication and virtuous bearing made a lifelong impression on Mien, whose humanitarian commitment and religious integrity is known to all who have met her.

It is therefore not surprising that turning points that changed her life have not been shattering, though they were stirring and changed the direction of her "becoming".

After her grandmother died, Mien's mother accepted the position of headmistress of a girls school in Batavia (present day Jakarta). The move from Bukittinggi in West Sumatra to the capital was a major change, but it was World War II and the Japanese invasion that caused a total turn in the direction of her life.

Like many of the Indonesian aristocracy, Mien's life had been sheltered within a Western-oriented circle. She had gone to a Dutch school, had Dutch friends, spoke Dutch and even thought in that language. With the Japanese occupation, Dutch became a forbidden language, Japanese learning was introduced, and the sarong and kebaya (traditional blouse) became the dress code.

Increasingly, Mien became interested in knowing her culture. The cause for a free Indonesia took her attention. As a student of pharmacology she became drawn into the struggle for recognition of the Republic of Indonesia, and it became stronger after she became close to Soedarpo Sosrosatomo, a freedom fighter.

She had met him at the Ministry of Information, which published a Dutch-language weekly called Het Inzicht (Insights), where she was responsible for coordinating the collection of articles, layouts and the corrections. The magazine was the counter of Het Uitzicht (Outlook) published by the Dutch Information Center. She became caught up in the maelstrom of events that put an end to the established colonial order.

Of course, she married Soedarpo, despite their completely different backgrounds; she of Western-oriented Sundanese- Minangkabau origin, he a Javanese whose parents' house had always been filled with people of the movement.

The independence revolution brought them together, she stated recently.

"I would otherwise never have married him. Our social circles were so widely different, we would never have met."

This was the second most important turning point in her life, which changed drastically with her marriage, and there were some difficulties.

As a newly married woman, for instance, she had expected to spend a lot of time with him. He, however, continued in his old ways of spending night and day with the foreign media, sometimes even forgetting to come home, Mien recollected.

Sudden changes were the worst, like getting a note about her husband's departure to join the Indonesian delegation at the Security Council in New York. Her baby was not even 40 days old; she was nursing the child, but because of the shock, the flow of milk stopped immediately. She wondered what fate awaited them, remembering the trauma of her mother's marriage and divorce.

On the other hand, in many other situations, thinking of her mother gave her strength and the words she uttered were a reminder that things would turn out OK.

Her mother used to say, "A great love can never reach perfection unless it has survived all perils".

It helped her overcome every possible challenge, whether it was as a diplomat's wife who had to do without servants and subsist on a meager salary in a foreign land, or the emotional trial of her husband's arrest.

She stood by her man in good times and in bad. Mien was for Soedarpo the support that spurred him to high levels of creativity. Patient and undemanding, she was forever supportive. He says it was her trust and generosity that helped them overcome their ethnic and social differences, giving him the freedom to do what he thought best in certain circumstances.

"I have to acknowledge her contribution to the progress of my life," her husband said in his biography Against the Stream that describes his rise to success.

Broadminded, deeply religious, with a genuine interest in people, Mien Soedarpo stands as an example of a woman whose unconditional love and warm personality have been inspiring in the acts that led her husband to be of service to his country. To her friends, she has been and is a friend indeed.

Her 80th birthday today certainly deserves a special celebration. No doubt, she will be feted by her three daughters with their families and her numerous friends from various backgrounds, religions, ethnicities and nationalities. But for Mien what comes first is a special prayer of thanks for all she has had in a fulfilling life -- and a loving prayer for her beloved mother.