Match-winning trivia abounds at Euro 96
By Vic Mills
LONDON (JP): A survey carried out for U.K. travel insurance company Home and Overseas has disclosed that many women -- one in six -- who would normally travel abroad for their holidays have deliberately chosen the three weeks of Euro 96 to escape. Even more men -- one in five according to the poll -- have arranged their holidays so they can stay home and watch the tournament on television.
With the championship being televised in 190 countries, travel agents have warned of the difficulty of finding a soccer-free destination. Thomas Cook has advised a cruise in the Norwegian fjords for remoteness and the fact that Norway failed to qualify.
Traditionalists may swear by the Acme Thunderer, but the world's top referees are blowing the more sophisticated Acme Tornado whistle during Euro 96. Its high-pitched tone, created by three harmonically tuned chambers rather than the traditional pea, is capable of cutting through the noisiest supporters' chants to deliver its sharp message to players. The company, which produces four million whistles a year for 137 countries, has been the world market leader since 1870 when its founder, Joseph Hudson, sold the idea of the penny whistle to the police. From patrolling Victorian London to controlling soccer matches was a short step. Within eight years Hudson had persuaded the referee in a Nottingham Forest game that it was better to blow a whistle than wave his handkerchief.
Footie chat
For the past six weeks, ground staff, stewards, hot-dog vendors, even taxi drivers and bank tellers have been learning how to welcome fans in their native language and indulge in casual footie chat. At a cost of 69 pennies per student, 3,000 people have been trained to say "Programi!" (Bulgarian for "Programs!"), "Uzak durunz!" (Turkish for "keep clear!"), and to win friends with such Serbo-Croat niceties as "Danas je bas lijep dan?" ("Isn't it a nice day?").
An admirable idea, however, none of football's truly crucial phrases appear to be catered for i.e. "tribunele in picioare" (Rumanian for "over the moon"), "spel os twee helften" (Dutch for "a game of two halves"), or the essential "siek as en papegaai" (Dutch for "sick as a parrot").
An early candidate for the MRP (Most Reformed Player) Award of Euro 96 is that of the saintly, Jurgen Klinsmann. Not too many seasons ago the "Blond One" was diving for all his worth around the playing fields of Europe; winning countless penalties and having the occasional player sent off. But not anymore; a season with Tottenham seems to have cured his unsteadiness. Or could it be that English referees were a little less gullible than their continental counterparts?
They also serve who only stand and watch. The uninvited of Euro 96 make for impressive reading: Vialli and Baggio (Italy), Cantona, Ginola and Papin (France), Gullit and Roy (Holland), Matthaus (Germany) and Jensen (Denmark).
As for news of the recently fallen -- well, Vialli, on record as never wanting to play in another Arrigo Sacchi coached Azzurri side, is more than happy to househunt in London and contemplate his US$40,000 a week pay packet following a move to Chelsea.
Fellow virtuoso, Roberto Baggio -- il condino divino or the divine ponytail -- has recently opened a Buddhist cultural center at Thiene, near Vicenza. For fellow seekers of enlightenment, his sports shop is close to the center.
Euro 96 condom
For those whose idea of football merchandise stretches no further than a crumpled rosette or moth-eaten scarf, the European Championship will come as a severe culture shock; not so much a football tournament as a license to print money.
From the virtual videos advertised on the Kellog's box at breakfast to a nightcap of Euro 96 wine sipped from a Euro 96 crystal glass, from pulling on your Euro 96 socks, underpants, denim shirt and leather jacket to donning your Euro 96 pajamas, fans will be urged to shop until they drop.
For the record, some $180 million worth of merchandise will be sold on the back of Euro 96. Indeed, if the more enlightened element within Licensed Properties International, the official licensors of Euro 96, had its way, the merchandising would not have stopped at lights out.
A Euro 96 condom was proposed and rejected, which was a shame -- the growing love affair between football and commerce could not have had a more apt symbol.
The nominations for chic are coming thick and fast as the tournament gathers momentum. The slickest hair-dos to date belong to Spain who unveiled a procession of cute coiffures in their tense one-all opening draw with Bulgaria. As for sartorial elegance, look no further than Iberian neighbors, Portugal, and their coach, Antonio Olivera.
Despite bearing a slight resemblance to inspector Clouseau, Oliveira wore the snappiest of tailored suits for his side's opener against Denmark. An agreeable change from the preferred management attire of tracksuits.
Finally, news, after months of scrupulous planning, of a small oversight to detail that threw a campaign into chaos. Thus, it was that the Italian team, arguably the continent's most fragrant sportsmen, arrived at their training camp at Manchester University's Crewe Alsager College only to discover an alarming absence of hairdryers.
"Where are the hairdryers?" came the distressed cry from Paulo Maldini and his amici. "Hairdryers? For men?" was the incredulous Lancastrian response. Italy's coach saw his championship hopes slipping away. Then a lifeline: special permission to use the hairdryers in the women's changing rooms.