Maria Ressa struggles with life choice

By Mehru Jaffer

JAKARTA (JP): CNN without Maria Ressa? This could happen if Ressa, 37, makes a certain choice.

"I am now at an age when I have to think about it. The biological clock is ticking away. I have to ask myself if I want children. I can see that I must make that choice soon," she said. For if and when she does decide to become a mother, then raising that child will be her very first priority. That is something that could end up engaging her forever and she does not see how she can have a family and do this job with the same kind of zeal and commitment.

How do men do it? Well it does take a terrible toll on their personal life and that is something she does not want happening to her. Often she gets this feeling that maybe some feminists may have already given up too much by following just a career.

In the end she may choose to do the same but what makes her chuckle most is the fact that more and more women have the choices today of deciding whether they want to start a family or a career. And this is a choice that is no longer forced upon women by society.

"It is a choice we can make for ourselves," she said referring to that small minority of privileged women. That the large majority of women in the world still do not have any control over their lives, Ressa agreed, that is quite another reality.

Chosen as the keynote speaker at the International Women's Day celebratory luncheon hosted here on March 8 by the International Community Activity Center (ICAC), Ressa talked about the joys and jitters that go into making a choice before an audience of more than 200 women.

Born in the Philippines, Ressa grew up in New York after her family fled the dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos. After graduating from Princeton University in 1986, she was faced with several options. Her mother, who had put so much effort into realizing the American dream for her family, wanted Ressa to go to law school.

Instead, Ressa accepted a Fullbright Fellowship to return to the Philippines to study political theater. Once back in her country of birth she found it frustrating to be there but also extremely exciting.

She found herself in a society that was in a great flux, her trip having coincided with the rise of people's power under the leadership of Corazon Aquino.

She gave up the scholarship after a month and also the depressing dormitory she lived in a little later, to plunge into journalism. She wanted to translate for the world what was happening in the Philippines and she tried to do this with an Asian perspective. She remained elated at being able to constantly learn about her country and, above all, about herself.

In 1988 when CNN was known for doling out just chicken noodle news, she became the organization's chief correspondent in Manila and covered all six coup attempts against the democratically elected government of Aquino. She became head of the CNN office in Jakarta in late 1995 in the thick and thin of media censorship from where she continues to cover not only the Philippines but also Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei Darussalam.

To the sound of telephones ringing constantly in the background and frantic inquiries made about forest fires that seem to have relit Sumatra, she continued to talk to The Jakarta Post for over an hour with an amazing generosity of spirit. Tiny- framed Ressa with tall determination is convinced that sharing information, debating and dialoguing all help to create a better understanding among people, communities and countries.

She darted around her glass-lined office on the sixth floor that overlooks all the drama down on Jl. Thamrin, Central Jakarta, and in between phones and files she touched upon subjects that ranged from being Asian and a woman to her work in Indonesia and plans for the future with an ease that was refreshing.

Excerpts from the interview:

Question: What does International Women's Day mean to you?

Answer: At first it just meant time for another news item. Now it is a day that inspires me to think about things that matter to me. It is a day when there is this tremendous flow of information about issues that concern women. It is a chance to share my thoughts with other women. At the moment I am trying to figure out what I want to do in my personal life and I want to know what choices other women have made and to be able to ask them about it.

Q: What are the choices before you?

A: I can see how I must make a choice soon. It is getting tiring. I am heading there. I can see myself making a transition.

Q: Do you see yourself as a mother at some stage in the future?

A: Absolutely. In the end I am very conservative much as I have grown up in the USA. I often dream of a white picket fence with a husband and kid ... and I am hoping that I can realize that dream by first doing everything I want to do and then hopefully my priorities will change.

Q: If you do make that choice what will happen to CNN?

A: Another reporter will take my job and the news will continue.

Q: What do you do for emotional solace in the meantime?

A: My friends and my colleagues are a great solace. I read a lot but most of the time I am very tired.

Q: What about sexuality? What role does it play in your life?

A: (Sighs) Not a big role. Not yet. We are on call 24 hours a day. I am called at 2 a.m. This job is all consuming. I am in a relationship but it is on and off depending on work.

Q: What is your relationship to the gay community?

A: I have friends. I have done stories on homosexuality for CNN. I do not speak for that community but I am concerned about it, like I am concerned about every other marginalized group in society. Homosexuals make a personal choice to live the life they want to and they should be allowed to deal with that choice gently.

Q: You came into Indonesia at the peak of media censorship. How did you manage to stay on under former president Soeharto?

A: The western media is in the habit of creating too many monoliths, myths. We at CNN decided to demystify the devils, to give a voice to the people who were being attacked. I feel Soeharto is no devil. He is just an old man who achieved a lot for Indonesia and made some terrible mistakes. The Indonesian Army is no monolith either.

We were warned several times by Soeharto's government. They did not like us criticizing them but they also realized that we were a forum where they could also address the attacks against them.

We were aware that we worked in a very nonmedia-savvy society where their idea of control was not to talk. I personally tried my best to get these Indonesians on camera. I said to them, "Here I am, you can use me and I hope that you will let me use you to create an understanding, to get a perspective about what you are trying to do."

Q: How difficult was it to get an interview with Tommy Soeharto in early 1996?

A: It was not difficult but it took time. It took nearly six months to get him to talk to CNN about the national car project.

Q: What were your impressions of Tommy which you may not have already aired?

A: I try very hard not to give personal opinions of the people we cover.

Let me put it this way, that when the national car project was announced it took everyone by surprise. It was an egregious policy and Tommy knew it. But they had gotten so used to pushing things right to the edge and getting away with it ... what was missing was a reality check. They surrounded themselves with supporters and all of them had just one perspective. The key is to stay in touch with reality.

Q: Is there anything else that you would like to share with the readers about Indonesia that you have not said on CNN?

A: It is exhausting. Covering Indonesia and East Timor means to be constantly panting, running for air. These societies have moved so fast and what we put in the news about Indonesia is just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more that is so complex that even the players themselves sometimes do not know that they are making a difference. I find it so tough to find the time to put into a book all that I am not able to say in a two-minute report.

Look at Gus Dur, the way he makes decisions ...

Q: What about the way Gus Dur makes decisions?

A: He has his own style of doing things that may be very frustrating to a western mind but if it works, it works ... It is a folly to judge him as a leader by western standards. In the few months that he has been in power I feel that he has accomplished far beyond any expectation.

Is it just western minds that Gus Dur frustrates? His own countrymen are also puzzled by the way he makes decisions, are they not? Gus Dur is the product of a certain culture and that culture accepts him despite frustrations. It is a different kind of expectation. He remains very popular with the people.

Q: How would you describe your most dreadful moment while covering an Indonesian story?

A: Looking back on all the stories we did in the last year what stands out most is the level of violence. I was recently in Kalimantan (where conflicts between the Madura and the Dayak were mounting). We walked onto a soccer field where some people were playing. On closer observation we realized that the ball they kicked around was actually the head of an old man.

It made me think of religion. That incident has made me question the universality of good and bad. What is it all about? Where does so much violence come from? And what can be done to prevent anger from erupting in this way?

I had to go home for a while to my family in New York after that dreadful incident.

Q: And the most delightful?

A: There have been so many but that morning when Soeharto resigned ... That gesture symbolized a fundamental change that this society was about to make. It is what the large majority of people wanted.

And I was elated ... one is rarely privileged to be a part of something that is that emotional and that will determine the course of a country that happens to be the fourth most populous nation in the world. It was a historic moment.

That morning I was full of hope for a people which after a very long time felt they could make a difference. Although I prefer slow and steady change and not violent ones, which of course make better news, I personally believe that any change can be negotiated. I am hoping that this is how the country will go after years of suppressed tension and the incidents of violence that have followed.

I must say that as a journalist I have experienced more dreadful than delightful moments. But that is also because of the way we define news.

Q: Is there something wrong with that definition of news?

A: I hope that we will question and challenge that definition more. News at the moment is any dramatic change and most of it is bad news. If I had it my way I would love to cover more cultural and social news.

Soeharto had put too much value on economic development. Now the emphasis on political and social development is very valuable.

Q: How do you cope living and working in a very traditional society?

A: Very well. This society after all is teeming with some extraordinary women of its own like Renee Zecha and Rini Soewandi.

If anything, being a woman has only helped. My job is to get information and people from the military, for example, seem more comfortable about speaking to women. It is also a personal connection. I guess what I am saying is that I will use the fact that I am a woman.

Q: But you have a western upbringing ... What you know about Asia is something that is held against you. Your comments.

A: In this job I have learned to live with criticism. There are certain things about me that are very western. But I look at this as something positive. Besides, I have bothered to step out of a very comfortable, elitist environment to go to the people and find out what they are thinking, how they are feeling. I see my contribution to CNN as being just that -- to get a very American organization to look at life with Asian eyes. Has it helped to do that because I am myself Asian? Absolutely.

If there was a white man in my position it would be a different story.

I have in me the best of both worlds. What thrills me is that I am able to communicate with both these worlds. Let me put it this way, if I had been educated in the Philippines I would not have this job today.

And in my place would have been a white male Anglo-Saxon!