Lonely junkie kicks bad habit to become peer counselor

Lonely junkie kicks bad habit to become peer counselor

JAKARTA (JP): His life was almost destroyed by drugs. A drug
addict, he dropped out school, left his job and lost his
girlfriend. But he did not give up, thanks to his family's
support. And now, not only has been able to kick the bad habit,
he actively campaigns to fight drug use and is ready to lend a
hand to those who need help.

"I know how it feels to become an addict and I want to help,"
said Risa.

Risa, 22, is one of the few Indonesian drug addicts who has
dedicated the rest of his life to helping others recover from the
addiction that he has successfully beaten. He is a volunteer and
peer counselor at Wisma Arjuna, a recovery center run by Yayasan
Permata Hati Kita in Bogor, West Java. The center was set up by
David and Joyce Jaelani Gordon, both HIV/AIDS and addiction
consultants.

Risa feels lucky to have understanding parents who gave him
love and care and fully supported his recovery.

Below is an excerpt of an interview with The Jakarta Post.

Question: How did you become a drug addict?

Answer: My parents were quite firm. When I was in high school,
I had to tell them wherever I went. I did not want to become anak
mami (Mommy's boy). I wanted to study abroad to taste my freedom.
My parents agreed. So I went to the Royal Melbourne Institute of
Technology. I was in Australia from 1995 to 1998.

I was astounded by the freedom. I met friends who used drugs.
I started to use ganja (marijuana) again (like when I was in high
school). And then I used cocaine, putauw (low-grade heroin),
heroine, ecstasy... I used all kinds of drugs. At the beginning
they gave me the drugs for free and I used it at weekends. But
then I used it more often and I had to buy it. First, we bought
one gram and used it together with my friends. But then I used it
all for myself.

My mother sent me A$2,000 a month and it was not enough. I
also worked as a computer lab assistant. But I needed more and
more money. I began to tell lies. I told my mother I needed more
money to buy text books... I said I had just hit a car and had
to pay compensation.

Q: How did you feel?

A: I felt lonely. I became a loner. I did not care about
socializing. I got out only to work and to buy drugs. I spent the
rest of my time by myself in my room using the drugs.

My friends started to leave me because we could not
communicate. We were in a different world.

In my first year at college, my studies were still okay. But
later I was reluctant to attend classes. In one semester I only
took one class. I went to campus mostly to work so that I could
get money to buy drugs. Still, it was not enough. I borrowed
money from my friends. I went to the casino. I stole my friends'
money. It happened like that for about two years.

Q: How much did the drugs cost?

A: Here, it (heroine) was Rp 50,000 and Rp 75,000 per 0.25 grams
(before the crisis). Now it is about Rp 400,000 or Rp 500,000 per
gram. Once the price was Rp 700,000 per gram.

Q: What is the pleasure of taking drugs?

A: It makes you high. It's better than sex. It's not a joy but a
relief... At the beginning it is happy, but then you get hell
from the pain.

Q: What pain?

A: The feeling of being lonely because you don't have anybody.
When my friends, my girlfriend, started to shun me ... I hit the
bottom, I felt that I had no future.

I only slept, woke up, ate, watched TV... I was confused.
What was in my mind was how to get the drugs. And I would do
anything to get it, cheating, stealing... fighting... no guilty
feelings, all of my emotions died. It was as if your life was re-
set (to zero). I was like a walking zombie. My life was
unmanageable.

Q: How did you survive?

A: Early in 1998 I returned home. I was skinny. My parents were
suspicious, especially when they found out that many things, and
money, were missing -- I stole them. I confessed. I told them the
truth and I said I would stop.

They were very supportive. They took me to a psychiatrist. And
then on two occasions I undertook detoxification treatment.

I promised I would never touch the drugs again. But I broke
the promise.

And then, in October 1998, I was taken to the recovery center.
I started to learn about the world of addiction, the NA
(Narcotics Anonymous) and AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) programs. I
learned (from other addicts) about the psychology of addiction,
the physical, mental and spiritual aspects. I was reborn. My way
of thinking changed, my emotions started to work.

I spent six months in the recovery program. And then I
received an offer to join the peer counseling training for three
or four months. I decided to take it because I think in Indonesia
there are not many who really know about the problems of addicts.
Only addicts understand the world (of addicts), the feelings, the
sorrow, the loneliness.

Q: What is typical about addicts?

A: They are chronically depressed. If they have problems, they
run from them, they have very strong defense mechanisms, they
complain easily... like "nobody cares about me".

They either have low self-esteem or they think that other
people are lower than themselves. They are trapped by their own
minds. Mentally, they are stuck. Like me, I used it when I was 18
years old, and I was stuck on that age. I could not grow up.
Without this recovery program, I would stay that way.

Q: How about your education?

A: I dropped out. I was a junky (addict) and I become a peer
counselor here to help other addicts.

Q: How about your parents?

A: They are supportive. They love me. They want me to recover. It
is very important to have parents who are supportive.

Q: Before you lived in Australia, had you used drugs?

A: When I was in elementary school, I smoked. I started drinking
alcohol and using ganja (marijuana) when I was in junior high. I
drank more frequently and took pills in senior high school.

I later became an addict because of my pattern of behavior
when I was in Indonesia. So, it does not mean that you would
easily become a drug addict just because you are in Australia.

What Indonesia is facing now has happened in Australia or
America... It happened in the 1970s... Jimmy Hendrix, The
Doors. We have very serious drugs problems now. We must be aware
of it, we should not deny that we have the problems. And don't
ever say that drugs is just part of Western culture. That's
nonsense.

Q: Why do people take drugs?

A: Because we want to prove something. We want to steal people's
attention. We want to be cool, to be tough. And to prove that, we
go to discotheques, we fight in brawls and we use drugs.

But drugs are not only used by young people. There are also
adults, executives, housewives who take drugs. (sim)