Living without maids and baby sitters at weekends

JAKARTA (JP): Aliyah and her husband, Nirwan -- not their real names -- were trying something new: Living without a baby sitter or maids at the weekends. But their baby did not eat anything on Saturday, and they had one more day to prove they were not dependent on the sitter.

"He promised to help," Aliyah, a housewife and former trading company employee, said in exasperation. She quit work to look after the baby.

"Well I did try to make her eat by making jokes," said Nirwan, an advertising executive.

The couple seemed to think there was something wrong with the way they were raising their one-year-old daughter. They had noticed that foreigners did not drag maids or baby sitters around 24 hours a day. But they found it tough to shake off their dependence on cheap, domestic help.

At least, they are trying.

Traditional dependence on domestic help is an important part of the country's rising middle class.

But noted economist Mari Pangestu reminded us in The Post last year that domestic help would disappear because of a tight labor market, better education and economic growth.

She wrote in Mother's Wish for Indonesia in 2020 that her two sons "would have to be comfortable helping in the home as well as being professionals". And their wives would also work.

But who will take care of the home and children?

She did not refer to other traditional helpers; there was no rushing children back and forth to grandparents.

Mari hoped parents would take care of the home, and staff in child-care centers at the workplace would take care of children when parents were absent.

"For the sake of my grandchildren," she hoped companies would "adopt a supportive and long-term approach in employing people, by having paternity leave (not just maternity leave), child-care centers at workplaces, adopt flexitime employment and do work from home through telecommunication facilities."

But asking a husband to care for and manage the home is more sensitive than talking about political succession.

Advocating for flexitime may mean that mothers take on a double burden instead of sharing home responsibilities with fathers.

A Kompas study revealed that middle-class respondents highly valued a harmonious family. Talking about domestic tasks brings tension. It is much easier to leave things as they have always been -- ask the maid.

But in light of Mari's warning, it is a good idea to at least start viewing the maid as a worker.

In the old days, we are told, helpers were part of the family. They benefited when the family had good times, and suffered in bad times. They were faithful, uncomplaining and were paid a pittance. They got to travel when their employers did.

Now many young families have both helpers and baby sitters from self-claimed professional training centers. The helpers are paid according to the market and baby sitters are paid according to what the center management tells employers to pay, plus leave allowances.

People are kind to helpers. Employers hang on to traditional values which say helpers are family. But the downside of being a family member and a worker means one does not have work hours and regular holidays because their rights as workers seem weird.

The city council has issued a rule on domestic help, but it does not dare to mention minimum wages. Again, it is a sensitive issue based on the traditional idea that domestic helpers belong to the family, and family is a private matter.

So Nirwan and Aliyah were boldly heading in the right direction, even it meant their busy baby went without food for a day. (anr)