Life as contract bridge

Life, they say, can sometimes deal you a bad hand. But, according to the latest medical research from the University of California, if life deals you a hand at all, good or bad, you are likely to live longer and look younger than those who hold no cards. Contract bridge, it appears, is the secret of healthy living.

The immunologists have yet to take the obvious next step, however. Which is the best hand to hold to ward off disease? Is a grand slam more effective than a flu jab? Certainly it cheers the mood and boosts morale. And she who can announce: "I have made a grand slam in no trumps, doubled and redoubled, vulnerable, with honors" must surely live to a ripe old age. The hapless player holding a yarborough, however, is probably prey to every winter sniffle around: after all, the eponymous Earl of Yarborough died a broken man in 1897 after rashly taking a bet of 1,000-1 that he would not be dealt a hand with no card higher than a nine. He lost.

Contract bridge is clearly the preferred game honorable, companionable, absorbing, with only the occasional kibitzer in the background causing the blood pressure to rise. But doctors should clearly steer their patients away from some of the baser games.

Poker encourages a mean streak, raises the adrenalin and is liable to give you a royal flush. Whist might make you costive, encouraging an unhealthy retentiveness; patience could encourage obesity; while the excitement of snap could lead to cardiac arrest. Berkeley is clearly in the vanguard of a medical breakthrough; let us hope that it is not a bridge too far.

-- The Times, London