Let the children play and be happy

JAKARTA (JP): Some 40 kindergarten pupils stand neatly in line in front of their classroom. After their teacher gives the order instructing them to go inside, they march in together and proceed straight to their desks.

The teacher then starts the lesson, asking simple questions like "one plus one equals...?"

"Two...!" the pupils reply in unison.

Or the children participate in some "routine" activities, such as drawing or folding colored paper as instructed by the teacher.

This is the general picture in local kindergartens.

At home, their busy parents push their children to study more as they worry they will not pass the elementary school entrance test if they do not master some writing and reading skills.

"This is not a children's world. The world of children is unique and it is not the miniature of an adult world," child psychiatrist, Kresno Mulyadi, said on Monday during the launching of the first doll that sings in Bahasa Indonesia, Bouncy Baby doll.

Kresno pointed out that 18-month-old babies only have the sense of trust. At the age of three, children begin to develop their sense of autonomy, by stimulating motor activities, and children from three to six need to develop their imagination.

He called on parents and teachers to guide the children's activities which best fit their growth and to enable them spend quality time playing with any toy they choose, as it would develop their creativity, language ability and their motor skills by role playing.

Playing with dolls could be therapeutic for distressed children. Children might treat the dolls as their younger sisters or daughters or friends.

"Parents should not ban boys from playing with dolls and allow girls to play with pistols. We know many male cooks or designers or policewomen. It is not taboo as most creative people have a balance of masculine and feminine activities.

"Just guide them to develop their own interests and in doing activities which best fit their growth periods," he said.

Most of the times, parents are always worried when they see their children playing and tell them to start studying to earn good grades.

"Playing is a serious matter and is important for children as it is the first phase of learning, and it is not a waste of time," he said.

Playing helps children grow into an empathetic personality, with high Emotional Quotient (E.Q.), said Mulyadi, criticizing parents who just want to focus on the children's Intellectual Quotient (I.Q.).

"Many children with good grades are constantly anxious and many others have no motivation to study - they only do it to obtain rewards," he said.

He shared the same idea with the late JB Mangunwijaya about the inappropriate education system of Indonesian children.

"I agree with what Romo (Father) Mangun said for over 30 years, Indonesian children have been maltreated and were not respected as children," he said.

Many teachers blame the children if they are bored and do not pay attention to their instructions or stories and punish them. This creates fear to study.

"Teachers and parents should no longer force children to obey but should empower them and make them self reliant. They should be given choices that fit parents' financial ability. It is more educative than telling them what to chose or do," he said.

He added that teachers need to improve their teaching skills treat their pupils as subjects in education instead of ordering them around as objects, giving wrong impressions of educational activities.

With such treatment, children associate education with commands and instructions.

"In a good kindergarten, the children are happy, mostly because the teachers succeed in presenting the activities in an interesting way," he said.

He advised parents to be sensible if their children make up reasons to evade school. "It is an indication that they are not happy" Kresno said. (lup)