Kids may suffer in care of unqualified maids

Kids may suffer in care of unqualified maids

By Eileen McBride

JAKARTA (JP): Three-year-old Louise climbs on to the diving
board at the deep end of the swimming pool, ignoring the
remonstrances of her maid.

Both Louise and her maid cannot swim, yet the toddler blithely
jumps into the pool. She learned long ago that her maid has
insufficient authority and is only to be ignored, that there are
no rules that count and disobedience has no consequences.

Potential dangers of this situation are repeated daily all
over the country when uneducated and untrained maids care for
young children while parents are at work.

The general lack of authority, together with their poor
knowledge of acceptable standards in all areas, including health
and safety, combine to make these maids -- who often have charge
of young children for 12 hours a day, six days a week -- totally
unsuitable for the job.

Louise is not Indonesian, but her relationship with her
Indonesian maid seemed similar to that of local children here as
described by teacher and sociologist, Kate Crowley (not her real
name).

There is little talk between the two, communication being
limited to the various commands issued by the maid, for which, in
most cases, the child displays utter contempt.

The only time the child pays attention to the maid is when she
wants something.

The maid's main role is to feed the child, keep her clean and
keep her safe, although the latter, as evident in the above
incident, is a rather gray area.

Crowley, an early childhood teacher with 15 years' experience,
teaches at a primary school in a South Jakarta elite housing
complex.

She said the difference between children raised by unqualified
maids and those properly nurtured and stimulated was immediately
obvious when they started school.

"The children (raised by maids) are significantly
disadvantaged, academically and emotionally, and possibly
physically," Crowley said.

"Without doubt these children will not reach their educational
and personal potential."

"The maids just do not talk to the child."

This contributes to poor communication skills, she added.

"Therefore the language of these children is so poor it is
indecipherable by anyone but the maid. The children speak
monosyllabically, their longest sentences only consisting of one
or two words, such that the children are unable communicate their
feelings or thoughts."

Conflict

In addition, the conflict of interests of child and maid --
what the child needs as opposed to what the maid needs or wants
-- becomes obvious in the two areas of discipline and the
independence of the child.

Crowley believed that maids generally behaved in the way that
would least likely cause trouble with the parents and therefore
preserve their employment prospects.

Thus, maids tend not to discipline their charges nor encourage
them to think or do for themselves.

"The maid does everything for the child, and the children
become totally dependent on the maid. If the maid makes the child
independent then she may not be needed anymore by her employers."

Crowley said the school formerly allowed maids to feed the
children, but this practice was stopped.

"I have seen a six-year-old lying on his back with the maid
feeding him the milk bottle," she said.

There are glaring differences in children raised by educated
carers who understand how to optimize a child's potential.

Crowley said these children were far more able to cope with
the demands of formal learning at school and achieve a far higher
level of success.

"They are more independent and more confident. They are more
articulate. They are happy, well-balanced and they feel safe in
their environment, and can easily adapt to new situations."

Sheena, who also requested a pseudonym, works full time as an
administrator and has a three-year-old son, whom she leaves in
the care of a maid.

Although Sheena carefully chose her maid, she recognizes the
maid's educational deficiencies. She dedicates most of her free
time to educating her child and talking to him about the world.

Her son looks independent, articulate and confidently
outgoing.

But Sheena feels some pressure from her husband, Eddy (not his
real name), who feels the care maids provide is not good enough.

"Maids are good because they help to decrease women's burden
in the house, but the bad side is when we are not at home, the
child is not well cared for," Eddy said.

"The maid knows the child is not her own blood so her
feeling is not our feeling. Most maids think of themselves first
while mothers usually put the child first, and herself second."

Due to her ability to find the middle ground between full-time
work and ensuring her son receives the care he needs, Sheena is a
good example for women who may feel intense pressure about the
fact they spend so much time away from their children.

She made clear that the crucial thing was awareness of the
issues.

Feudalistic

But there is the more insidious problem of the effect of
feudalistic attitudes of some female employers.

Sociologist Wardah Hafidz, a specialist in gender issues, said
this created a social problem which affected the whole society,
not only the children in their future relationships with
outsiders.

"Although women realize that maids are indispensable to the
well-being of the household, they treat maids as highly unequal
and see them as socially inferior.

"For instance, there are still women who make their maids work
extremely long hours and make them eat poor quality food while
forbidding them from wearing makeup, wearing dresses the same
color as them and from going out and socializing."

She feared the practice was socially condoned.

"Feudalism still prevails... and it seems to be getting
worse. I have the impression that feudalistic practices have
become trendy now among the nouveau riche. It is actually class
oppression done by women to other women of the lower class."

Crowley said feudalistic views of parents could strongly
influence children, who develop inappropriate views of
individuals and society.

She said in instances where feudalism was coupled with
substantial wealth there was a tendency for children to look down
on their peers, and even on teachers.

"The children pick up on these cues and they develop an
expectation that all adults are there for them."

The current absence of viable childcare options, together with
the constraints of the current financial crisis, means that
mothers may not be thinking about the best arrangements for their
children.

At a time when financial survival is the predominant goal, it
may seem a luxury most families cannot afford.

But in the next decade or two, families, as well as
governments and institutions, may be forced to rethink the issue.

In 1995, economist Mari Pangestu, head of the economics
department at the Center for Strategic and International Studies,
wrote that the combination of increased participation in the
workforce, better education and economic growth would lead to the
ready supply of cheap domestic labor drying up by 2020.

"My sons will have to be equally comfortable helping in the
home as well as being professionals," Mari wrote in Mother's Wish
for RI in 2020 in The Jakarta Post.

"I wonder if companies will adopt a supportive and long-term
approach in investing in people, by having paternity leave (not
just maternity leave), child care centers in the workplace, have
flextime, and work done through telecommuting?

"For the sake of my grandchildren's mother, I hope so,
especially in view of the tight labor situation, better education...
because domestic help will disappear."

Maybe when mothers and families truly have no options,
childcare will be given more serious thought.