Kids may suffer in care of unqualified maids

By Eileen McBride

JAKARTA (JP): Three-year-old Louise climbs on to the diving board at the deep end of the swimming pool, ignoring the remonstrances of her maid.

Both Louise and her maid cannot swim, yet the toddler blithely jumps into the pool. She learned long ago that her maid has insufficient authority and is only to be ignored, that there are no rules that count and disobedience has no consequences.

Potential dangers of this situation are repeated daily all over the country when uneducated and untrained maids care for young children while parents are at work.

The general lack of authority, together with their poor knowledge of acceptable standards in all areas, including health and safety, combine to make these maids -- who often have charge of young children for 12 hours a day, six days a week -- totally unsuitable for the job.

Louise is not Indonesian, but her relationship with her Indonesian maid seemed similar to that of local children here as described by teacher and sociologist, Kate Crowley (not her real name).

There is little talk between the two, communication being limited to the various commands issued by the maid, for which, in most cases, the child displays utter contempt.

The only time the child pays attention to the maid is when she wants something.

The maid's main role is to feed the child, keep her clean and keep her safe, although the latter, as evident in the above incident, is a rather gray area.

Crowley, an early childhood teacher with 15 years' experience, teaches at a primary school in a South Jakarta elite housing complex.

She said the difference between children raised by unqualified maids and those properly nurtured and stimulated was immediately obvious when they started school.

"The children (raised by maids) are significantly disadvantaged, academically and emotionally, and possibly physically," Crowley said.

"Without doubt these children will not reach their educational and personal potential."

"The maids just do not talk to the child."

This contributes to poor communication skills, she added.

"Therefore the language of these children is so poor it is indecipherable by anyone but the maid. The children speak monosyllabically, their longest sentences only consisting of one or two words, such that the children are unable communicate their feelings or thoughts."

Conflict

In addition, the conflict of interests of child and maid -- what the child needs as opposed to what the maid needs or wants -- becomes obvious in the two areas of discipline and the independence of the child.

Crowley believed that maids generally behaved in the way that would least likely cause trouble with the parents and therefore preserve their employment prospects.

Thus, maids tend not to discipline their charges nor encourage them to think or do for themselves.

"The maid does everything for the child, and the children become totally dependent on the maid. If the maid makes the child independent then she may not be needed anymore by her employers."

Crowley said the school formerly allowed maids to feed the children, but this practice was stopped.

"I have seen a six-year-old lying on his back with the maid feeding him the milk bottle," she said.

There are glaring differences in children raised by educated carers who understand how to optimize a child's potential.

Crowley said these children were far more able to cope with the demands of formal learning at school and achieve a far higher level of success.

"They are more independent and more confident. They are more articulate. They are happy, well-balanced and they feel safe in their environment, and can easily adapt to new situations."

Sheena, who also requested a pseudonym, works full time as an administrator and has a three-year-old son, whom she leaves in the care of a maid.

Although Sheena carefully chose her maid, she recognizes the maid's educational deficiencies. She dedicates most of her free time to educating her child and talking to him about the world.

Her son looks independent, articulate and confidently outgoing.

But Sheena feels some pressure from her husband, Eddy (not his real name), who feels the care maids provide is not good enough.

"Maids are good because they help to decrease women's burden in the house, but the bad side is when we are not at home, the child is not well cared for," Eddy said.

"The maid knows the child is not her own blood so her feeling is not our feeling. Most maids think of themselves first while mothers usually put the child first, and herself second."

Due to her ability to find the middle ground between full-time work and ensuring her son receives the care he needs, Sheena is a good example for women who may feel intense pressure about the fact they spend so much time away from their children.

She made clear that the crucial thing was awareness of the issues.

Feudalistic

But there is the more insidious problem of the effect of feudalistic attitudes of some female employers.

Sociologist Wardah Hafidz, a specialist in gender issues, said this created a social problem which affected the whole society, not only the children in their future relationships with outsiders.

"Although women realize that maids are indispensable to the well-being of the household, they treat maids as highly unequal and see them as socially inferior.

"For instance, there are still women who make their maids work extremely long hours and make them eat poor quality food while forbidding them from wearing makeup, wearing dresses the same color as them and from going out and socializing."

She feared the practice was socially condoned.

"Feudalism still prevails... and it seems to be getting worse. I have the impression that feudalistic practices have become trendy now among the nouveau riche. It is actually class oppression done by women to other women of the lower class."

Crowley said feudalistic views of parents could strongly influence children, who develop inappropriate views of individuals and society.

She said in instances where feudalism was coupled with substantial wealth there was a tendency for children to look down on their peers, and even on teachers.

"The children pick up on these cues and they develop an expectation that all adults are there for them."

The current absence of viable childcare options, together with the constraints of the current financial crisis, means that mothers may not be thinking about the best arrangements for their children.

At a time when financial survival is the predominant goal, it may seem a luxury most families cannot afford.

But in the next decade or two, families, as well as governments and institutions, may be forced to rethink the issue.

In 1995, economist Mari Pangestu, head of the economics department at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, wrote that the combination of increased participation in the workforce, better education and economic growth would lead to the ready supply of cheap domestic labor drying up by 2020.

"My sons will have to be equally comfortable helping in the home as well as being professionals," Mari wrote in Mother's Wish for RI in 2020 in The Jakarta Post.

"I wonder if companies will adopt a supportive and long-term approach in investing in people, by having paternity leave (not just maternity leave), child care centers in the workplace, have flextime, and work done through telecommuting?

"For the sake of my grandchildren's mother, I hope so, especially in view of the tight labor situation, better education... because domestic help will disappear."

Maybe when mothers and families truly have no options, childcare will be given more serious thought.