Keris

By Ngatini Rasdi

My husband came home from work with a stormy countenance. In the bright afternoon light, I saw a dark sky in his face. I welcomed him with an cheerful face but it did not change his climate. He entered the house, saying nothing. He only walked past me and threw himself onto the sofa, without taking off his shoes. I served him a bitter-sweet coffee, his favorite drink, in order to make him smile.

"This is the coffee you like, mas,*) please drink it while it is still warm," I said in an effort to please him. But he was unmoved.

I began to worry because never before had he come home in such a dour mood. He was a happy man who always came home whistling a joyous tune. In the past, he had never experienced anything bad.

The only thing he hated to see or stories he hated to hear were those relating to keris, the traditional Javanese dagger, the double edges of which are wavy. He told me once that he lost consciousness when his grandfather told him an heroic story about how King Amangkurat of Surakarta fiercely annihilated his enemies with a keris.

But today, he might have had a bad experience at the office, which had nothing to do with any dagger, I hope. Anyway, I was getting curious and wanted to find a way to thaw the ice.

"You seem to need a bath with warm water, mas. I said. "I have prepared everything for you." Yet my husband remained silent. He stooped and looked at the floor without saying anything. He also seemed to be so enraged that he did not even look at me. I asked myself whether I had hurt his feelings. I really felt uneasy.

Since he was the sole breadwinner in the family I have always been tactful in my words and behavior. Due to this mannerly attitude, I concluded I had done nothing wrong. So I would let him stay in this mood for the time being. Later on, I would ask him to break the silence and discuss the situation at his office that might have made him morose.

As evening fell, I prepared his favorite dinner, consisting of fried rice, chopped tomato, shrimp crackers and vegetable salad. Usually, after finishing his dinner he always had time to discuss lots of things. The talk was usually followed by routine relaxation in the bedroom.

But today, he was still on the sofa. I did not show my disappointment. I tried to overcome the situation by taking off his shoes. This was the first time since we married that I rendered that service. I felt I had humiliated myself by offering the indulgence, especially after I did not receive the gratitude I had expected. He did not express any thanks, much less do anything.

Then I asked him whether he was not feeling well or whether I should call a doctor. He reacted by sighing deeply. But, at last, he was willing to take a bath which was followed by dinner. We dined together.

The ice thawed after he entered the bedroom and cried. "I am scared," he said.

"Scared of what?" I asked.

"Today, we had a meeting at the office. A routine meeting but suddenly our boss wielded a keris. All of us, particularly me, were dead scared. I have always been afraid when someone mentioned the traditional Javanese dagger," my husband added.

I had a traumatic experience when I was 13 years old. One day, I returned home from my junior high school class and found my parents in a heated quarrel. Suddenly, father took a keris from the cupboard and put it to mother's neck. I had never seen that dagger before and my mother was about to become a victim. I fainted. Although mom was not hurt that time, I never again saw that dagger. Perhaps, my father kept in a special place or threw it away. But after the incident, even the sight of the cupboard was enough to scare me.

He also said that his boss produced the keris because he was angry after finding out that most employees upheld the idea of going on strike over workers who were paid on daily basis. My husband said his boss had always prided himself as a descendant of the best Javanese keris makers. I imagined how deadly it would be if he stabbed my husband's neck with the rusty and wavy double-edged dagger. I would be terribly painful.

My husband said that beginning from tomorrow, he and other fellow employees would stay at home. He said they could not tolerate such terror. I could understand their decision.

Two days later, while reading a morning daily, I came across a report saying that his boss had taken his own life in his office.

A keris was found piercing his chest.

-- Translated by TIS

*) Mas means older brother, husband or a loved one.