Keris

Keris

By Ngatini Rasdi

My husband came home from work with a stormy countenance. In
the bright afternoon light, I saw a dark sky in his face. I
welcomed him with an cheerful face but it did not change his
climate. He entered the house, saying nothing. He only walked
past me and threw himself onto the sofa, without taking off his
shoes. I served him a bitter-sweet coffee, his favorite drink, in
order to make him smile.

"This is the coffee you like, mas,*) please drink it while it
is still warm," I said in an effort to please him. But he was
unmoved.

I began to worry because never before had he come home in such
a dour mood. He was a happy man who always came home whistling a
joyous tune. In the past, he had never experienced anything bad.

The only thing he hated to see or stories he hated to hear
were those relating to keris, the traditional Javanese dagger,
the double edges of which are wavy. He told me once that he lost
consciousness when his grandfather told him an heroic story about
how King Amangkurat of Surakarta fiercely annihilated his enemies
with a keris.

But today, he might have had a bad experience at the office,
which had nothing to do with any dagger, I hope. Anyway, I was
getting curious and wanted to find a way to thaw the ice.

"You seem to need a bath with warm water, mas. I said. "I have
prepared everything for you." Yet my husband remained silent. He
stooped and looked at the floor without saying anything. He also
seemed to be so enraged that he did not even look at me. I asked
myself whether I had hurt his feelings. I really felt uneasy.

Since he was the sole breadwinner in the family I have always
been tactful in my words and behavior. Due to this mannerly
attitude, I concluded I had done nothing wrong. So I would let
him stay in this mood for the time being. Later on, I would ask
him to break the silence and discuss the situation at his office
that might have made him morose.

As evening fell, I prepared his favorite dinner, consisting of
fried rice, chopped tomato, shrimp crackers and vegetable salad.
Usually, after finishing his dinner he always had time to discuss
lots of things. The talk was usually followed by routine
relaxation in the bedroom.

But today, he was still on the sofa. I did not show my
disappointment. I tried to overcome the situation by taking off
his shoes. This was the first time since we married that I
rendered that service. I felt I had humiliated myself by offering
the indulgence, especially after I did not receive the gratitude
I had expected. He did not express any thanks, much less do
anything.

Then I asked him whether he was not feeling well or whether I
should call a doctor. He reacted by sighing deeply. But, at last,
he was willing to take a bath which was followed by dinner. We
dined together.

The ice thawed after he entered the bedroom and cried. "I am
scared," he said.

"Scared of what?" I asked.

"Today, we had a meeting at the office. A routine meeting but
suddenly our boss wielded a keris. All of us, particularly me,
were dead scared. I have always been afraid when someone
mentioned the traditional Javanese dagger," my husband added.

I had a traumatic experience when I was 13 years old. One day,
I returned home from my junior high school class and found my
parents in a heated quarrel. Suddenly, father took a keris from
the cupboard and put it to mother's neck. I had never seen that
dagger before and my mother was about to become a victim. I
fainted. Although mom was not hurt that time, I never again saw
that dagger. Perhaps, my father kept in a special place or threw
it away. But after the incident, even the sight of the cupboard
was enough to scare me.

He also said that his boss produced the keris because he was
angry after finding out that most employees upheld the idea of
going on strike over workers who were paid on daily basis. My
husband said his boss had always prided himself as a descendant
of the best Javanese keris makers. I imagined how deadly it would
be if he stabbed my husband's neck with the rusty and wavy
double-edged dagger. I would be terribly painful.

My husband said that beginning from tomorrow, he and other
fellow employees would stay at home. He said they could not
tolerate such terror. I could understand their decision.

Two days later, while reading a morning daily, I came across a
report saying that his boss had taken his own life in his office.

A keris was found piercing his chest.

-- Translated by TIS

*) Mas means older brother, husband or a loved one.