Karaoke diplomacy livens summit

Our Asia correspondent Harvey Stockwin reports on the latest developments in the style of Philippine diplomacy -- and how this new political format could help dissipate prevailing regional tensions. This article is a fictulation -- a combination of fact, fiction and speculation, with the reader having to decide which is what.

HONG KONG (JP): So far, no word has reached Hong Kong confirming the rumor that, in a late night get-together in Jakarta, the seven ASEAN heads of government wooed each other with song. But that lack of confirmation may merely mean that Philippine President Fidel Ramos has been reticent about the latest invention of the ever-fertile Philippine political imagination : Karaoke Diplomacy.

China's President Jiang Zemin was in at the unveiling of this secret Filipino weapon on board the presidential yacht SS Ang Pangulo, as he cruised Manila Bay as the guest of Philippine President Fidel Ramos (accompanied by two Philippine Navy frigates) on Nov. 27.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer breathlessly recorded the political rationale for this major development. "The issue of Chinese intrusion into the Philippine-claimed Mischief Reef was too daunting a problem for them to tackle that day. So they sang seven American pop hits and danced the blues away."

The two Presidents got going in both slow and fast tempo duets of Elvis Presley's Love Me Tender. The duet reverberated around the world, courtesy BBC World Service.

Ramos then gave Jiang some priceless intelligence -- this was U.S. President Bill Clinton's favorite song, so Jiang should surprise Clinton by singing it to him when he hosts the promised Sino-American summit in Beijing.

The two Presidents followed up with Let Me Call You Sweetheart before Jiang showed off his dancing expertise by waltzing with First Lady Amelita Ramos. There were other highlights -- as when Ramos inveigled Jiang into attempting to dance the cha-cha, and the two leaders sang another duet, a Carpenters' song Top Of The World.

Caught up in the mood of the moment, Jiang let slip that his favorite song was Swanee River before singing it as a solo. Karaoke Diplomacy ended for the day with a spirited rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

At least the Inquirer kept its eye on the ball, concluding its report: "The problems did not go away, though. Foreign Secretary Domingo Siazon said that a garrison-type Chinese structure remained in Mischief Reef, which is part of the Kalayaan Islands claimed by the Philippines. 'Its still a main irritant for us, so that we have to resolve it' Siazon said."

It's anybody's guess whether Karaoke Diplomacy brought a resolution of the territorial dispute any nearer.

ASEAN should not be miffed if Ramos did not pass on news of this sensational diplomatic development at the Jakarta summit. The Chinese people have not been informed about Karaoke Diplomacy either. The Filipinos naturally allowed some TV cameras on board the Ang Pangulo so that the vocal Jiang-Ramos talents might have global impact. But this reporter has not, so far, seen the Karaoke Diplomacy episode replayed on the Beijing Nightly TV News. No doubt the Standing Committee of the Politburo of the Chinese Communist Party will have to decide when, and if, news of this Incident can ever be released.

Understandably, it is a very difficult decision for the CCP. Karaoke Diplomacy humanizes politicians. The CCP steadfastly resists any such trend.

Yet maybe we are underestimating Jiang. Maybe he passed on the secret of Karaoke Diplomacy to the Indians at his next stop after Manila, in New Delhi. Maybe it is the Indian side which resists releasing the news that in a late night get-together President Jiang and Indian President Shankar Dayal Sharma wooed each other with song.

Could it be that there was, after all, a Sino-Indian sing- along in a quiet corner of Rashtrapathi Bhavan, the presidential place -- but both sides have kept quiet about it? The Chinese leader, with confidence-building measures on the Sino-Indian border very much in mind, robustly sang Don't Fence Me In. The Indian leader replied, thinking of all that Chinese nuclear assistance to Pakistan, with a plaintive but pointed rendition of the love song from the musical Kiss Me Kate -- Why Can't You Behave?

Jiang and Sharma concluded, amidst prolonged applause, as they sang a duet with another Elvis Presley number Your Cheatin' Heart.

The Philippine amusement industry may not realize it -- but President Ramos has just given them the idea for a great parlor game. It is entitled Karaoke Diplomacy At Great Moments in History. You draw your moment and the leaders to match -- and then imagine the songs they ought to have sung. For example, the great act of Anglo-French appeasement at Munich in 1938.

The German dictator Adolf Hitler could have wooed British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain with a fierce version of the 1930s hit Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't My Baby? Chamberlain, the arch appeaser, could have replied plaintively with the 1920s song I Could Be Happy With You, If You Could Be Happy With Me. The two leaders could then have danced a spirited version of the Charleston. Chamberlain would have been so breathless he would have forgotten about giving a guarantee to Poland, World War II might never have happened.

In the same way, there was absolutely no need for Ramos and Jiang to avoid all mention of the contentious Spratly Islands in the South China Sea when they were cruising in Manila Bay. Ramos could have directly broached the issue with an updated version of I Believe. Jiang could have soothed Philippine passions with Cole Porter's old hit -- I'm always true to you, darling, in my fashion, I'm always true to you, darling, in my way.

Of course there is a danger in this, as with all secret weapons. Some hardline generals in the People's Liberation Army, once they hear about the goings-on aboard Ang Pangulo, may decide that now is the right moment to seize a few more vacant reefs in the South China Sea. President Ramos must be hoping that President Jiang got his underlying message -- those who sing- along must get-along.

Meanwhile the rumors of an ASEAN sing-along at the Jakarta summit seem plausible. Karaoke diplomacy offered the perfect way out. Faced with intra-ASEAN differences over when Myanmar should join the grouping, and with pressure from the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC) for quicker entry, all leaders could agree to join in heartily singing On The Road To Nandalay.

Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad loves to pontificate about Asian values but this past week his understanding of Asian dress values did not even extend across the South China Sea. Mahathir in the Philippines made the same mistake as U.S. President Bill Clinton did last year in Indonesia.

The Philippine dress shirt, the barong tagalog, is nearly always coupled with dark, preferably black trousers. Worn like a bush shirt outside the trousers, the barong tagalog is the sensible Philippine equivalent of a Western dinner jacket.

Naturally, when he plotted the arrangements for last week's Manila-Subic Bay summit of the 18-nation Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) grouping, Philippine President Fidel Ramos planned to give all the summiteers their own specially tailored barongs. Getting all the leaders' measurements, from Chile to China, back to Manila in time for the tailoring must have placed quite a strain on Philippine diplomats, but they managed it.

So there were all the leaders, gathered in one long line at the former U.S. Naval base at Subic, wearing their barongs, and waving their greetings to the cameras. Everyone wore black trousers -- except Mahathir, right in the middle of the line, wearing entirely inappropriate gray pants.

One of Mahathir's favorite themes has been "learning from Japan" but this time he was "learning from the United States". Two years ago in Bogor, the Indonesian hosts had gone through a similar exercise only with their more ornate batik shirts.

These also require dark trousers. Indonesian President Suharto himself chose the colors and the patterns for each leader's batik shirt. The group picture was spoilt because Clinton not only kept everyone waiting but jarringly mixed a brown batik pattern with gray trousers. What hope can there be for APEC to pursue free trade when they cannot all wear the same trousers?

Window A:

It's anybody's guess whether Karaoke Diplomacy brought a resolution of the territorial dispute any nearer.

Window B:

The Philippine amusement industry may not realize it -- but President Ramos has just given them the idea for a great parlor game.