Jubir

By Sori Siregar

He has a meager salary. But his income is more than enough. He has been living this way for years. Actually there is nothing weird about that. The majority of people are living in this same pattern. People not from here will never understand this reality. This is the reason why researchers go from Sabang to Merauke studying and taking notes.

People who always refer to religion often link things like a salary to the blessings of God. So don't ever relate a meager salary or a big income with anything else. Everyone's luck has been decided by the Almighty.

Cynical people will never accept this reality. They look at making money as a kind of sleight of hand. Fortunately, between the two categories of people there are those who take a neutral stand.

People may have a small salary, but don't suspect them just because they seem to bring home a lot of money. Possibly, after office hours, they work an extra job for the extra income. It just means they are doing everything in their power to meet the needs of their families. Therefore, it is unwise to suspect people with lots of money just because they have a small salary. On the contrary, those people who have a meager salary but have a lot of money must be respected.

Frankly, I was confused when Jubir asked me where I stood on the issue. How should I answer? I never questioned the issue of a small salary and a big income. What is important for me is that everyone has to fight for a living. If they don't have much of a salary they should add to it somehow to make it enough to live on. If it is not adequate find additional income somewhere else. How they find that income is their own business.

"As a low-paid civil servant, I have a large income. I can even buy a car. Don't you have any suspicions about me?" Jubir asked me.

I gazed at him wide-eyed. "Do you think I am an informant? Why should I suspect you because you have a big income?"

"Many people are cynical about civil servants who make a good living. Particularly if once in a while they can go on vacation with their families."

"That's their own business, not mine," I said sharply.

Jubir fell silent upon hearing my answer. I wondered why he asked me the question. He knew very well I was someone who was not quick to suspect other people. I always judge people as good, sincere and noble. Maybe that was the reason I was frequently cheated by others, including my close and trusted friend. But I stick to my judgment. Although being deceived is bad, I prefer to be cheated than to swindle others. Of course, I don't tell this to people for fear they will then try to deceive me.

Only my wife and children know my principles. Because they are good people and afraid of punishment in next world, none of them has ever cheated me. My only son, Heikal, even takes precautions to save me from any deceit. Since he has been trained in tae kwon do, he is prepared to use his skill to defend me. I don't approve of this; I am against any kind of violence. For me, whoever uses violence is short-sighted and narrow-minded. Smart people must be able to cause someone to bow using only words.

My good-hearted son, Heikal, shares the same view. Therefore, he threw out his plan to use tae kwon do to save me. He seems to have a desire to be a wise boy. Whether or not he wants to be considered smart, my son, who is in the sixth grade, reminds me that the ability to use words which reflect a social status, civilization and culture is decided by someone's mastery of the language. I can't help wondering from what magazine he read this. He may have quoted that proverb from his friend's diary.

I have no intention of discussing this. Much the same as people with meager salaries and big incomes. Is it necessary to discuss this? What for? Is there any reason to be jealous of these people?

I really regret Jubir's questioning. Why should he ask where I stand in judging these people. I have never thought about it before. But after he asked me the question I began to think about it.

It is a heavy burden, these thoughts. Particularly because my starting point is a belief in others' honesty. But because I am interested in knowing, I begin calculating the salaries of the people I know. If he is a civil servant I try to find out how much he makes. If he works for a private company I try to find out what his position is. As a result, I now have homework.

The results? I don't believe them because I can still use my common sense. In fact, a message enters my mind from somewhere. The message has seriously disturbed my self-balance. It tells me to use three approaches to problems. First, use common sense. If this is impossible, use half of your common sense. If it is still impossible, there is no other choice except using an unhealthy or insane mind.

Those having common sense must be disturbed by this message. Is the world that bad? Isn't it an exaggeration and a reflection of hopelessness?

Frankly, I don't know what to say This has become a heavy burden, just because Jubir asked me that question and I tried to think about where I stand in judging people. If I paid no attention and was indifferent to his question, I wouldn't have this burden.

It is true, if we want to live in peace there is no need for us to increase our work by calculating the taxes, salaries, incomes and wealth of others. Why should we waste our time -- without compensation -- just because we have suspicions about how others are living.

In order to satisfy Jubir I met him at his house. I elaborated on my stand. In short, for me, everyone in this country is good, honest and sincere.

"In England", I said "crime is increasing so much private companies want to build prisons. According to the owners of the companies, they seized upon this idea because of the poor condition of the government prisons, as well as the fact that there is no more room available for new convicts. None of them acknowledged that the plan to build new prisons was merely for commercial purposes."

I used this as an example to convince Jubir he should be proud to be a citizen of this country, because he lived among people of good character in a noble culture.

What I hoped for came to be. Jubir shouted happily. "If everyone in this country shared your view and acted like you, all the prisons would be closed because there would be no more criminals."

"But the impact would be negative," I commented. "Unemployment would increase since the government institution in charge of the prisons would be closed and its workers fired."

Jubir fell silent. Then he softly said, "This means that what you are thinking about is wrong. As long as prisons exist and there are so many held in them, there is no reason to say that all people are of good character and honest."

Jubir had annoyed me again. He seemed to be unhappy seeing me with this burden. In order to save myself from his annoyance I gave him a simple answer.

"That's what I think. There is no requirement that what I think is in accordance with reality. Theory must not always be the same as practice. Isn't this so? What's most important is that I try to keeps my thoughts and feelings stable. Hence, I am happy and I don't have a heavy burden. Whether what I am thinking about is wrong, that's another matter."

Jubir was about to open his mouth, but then he stopped himself. I realized he must resent that I was so submissive and only pleased myself, show no care for others or my surroundings. I saw his disappointment in the glow of his eyes.

As a visitor I must show good manners. I began to feel that my host didn't want me to stay any longer, so I took my leave after gulping down the cup of tea which his maid had brought out.

When I got home I saw my son Heikal busy with his tae kwon do. He stopped when he saw me approaching.

"Any competition?" I asked him.

"No. We should always be on the alert, shouldn't we, Dad?"

"What for?"

"To pounce before being pounced on," he said in an easygoing manner.

I was surprised. Even with my own son I had a contradictory stance. But I really didn't understand. Why did an elementary school student have such thoughts? Where should I address this question?

Another burden has been placed on my shoulders.