'It's our turn to take care of parents'

'It's our turn to take care of parents'

Jakartans have heard several stories about elderly folks dying
alone in their homes, only to be discovered later by suspicious
neighbors. The high-stress life and high mobility of urban
workers has changed the traditional extended family system to a
nuclear family system. However, some residents The Jakarta Post
talked to said that sending their parents to homes for the
elderly was not preferred.

Lenny, 29, is an insurance agent whose office is on Jl.
Thamrin in Central Jakarta. She lives with her husband in
Bintaro, South Jakarta:

My parents are planning to sell their house and move back to
Yogyakarta once my father completely retires.

Actually, I'm quite worried by their plan, because they would
then be living alone by themselves there, while me and my brother
would only be able to visit them once in a while.

We told them that it would be alright if they moved in with
one of us, but they insisted, explaining that they didn't want to
be a burden on us.

So I don't know, I'm now trying to ask a relative there to
live with them, or ask their neighbors to help take care of them.

Pauline, 30, is a civil engineer who works at a construction
company on Jl. Kartini, South Jakarta. She lives with her husband
and daughter in Cinere, also in South Jakarta:

Currently my elder sister lives with my parents. But she is
planning to move out. I and my older sister, who lives in Bogor,
usually visit our parents on weekends or holidays. Although we
live in the same town, we hardly have the time to meet each other
more than once a week. But we talk on the phone every day, just
to check whether they are alright.

My parents have refused to live in any of their children's
homes. They prefer to live on their own.

None of us have ever thought about sending our mom and dad to
a nursing home. They would not feel comfortable. They worked hard
all their lives to earn a home and raised us, so it's our turn to
take care of them.

My sisters and I have talked about find them a new home next
to mine. At least, they could have someone younger around to help
them do the house chores or alert us if they fall sick.

-- The Jakarta Post