It's not the wheels, but who's behind them!

JAKARTA (JP): Getting from point A to point B in a big city like Jakarta can be a real pain. Traffic jams are everywhere during rush hours and there are many hellish drivers who would not think twice of running you off the road.

The powers that be have failed to think of an effective solution to ease the traffic congestion even though the problem has existed for many years.

In fact, it is getting worse and worse as the traffic infrastructure is woefully inadequate -- many roads are damaged, the construction of new roads has been halted due to the crisis but the number of vehicles is increasing.

At least there is one way to relieve the pain. You could always hire a good-looking driver: a beautiful sexy woman like Pamela Anderson or a handsome man, who is also sexy, like Tom Cruise.

A car can make your life easier, providing it does not break down, especially if you are driving alone at night. Not only does it protect you from the scorching sun and takes you to whenever you want to go, a car -- not virtue or merit -- can also bring you respects and honors.

Parking attendants and security guards know this well. If you drive a BMW, Mercedes-Benz or another expensive car, it is easier for you to find a parking space. When you park the car, they enthusiastically give you directions (they are probably expecting big tips as they assume you are rich and generous, even though many of the haves are stingy).

You are what you drive -- is that true? Or, the better your car, the greater people's expectations of you? Well, it is true that a car is very important here in Jakarta because public transportation is lousy.

There are people who really understand the importance of a car so that they give one to every member of their family. It's not surprising if there are five or more cars in some households (imagine how big the house is?!). There are also some who have different cars for different purposes. A BMW to go to the office, an Audi to go shopping, a Land Cruiser to go to the golf course and a Blazer to pick up the kids from school. Others like to regularly change their cars with new models to keep up with changing trends.

In some cases, the common question, "How did you come here today?" must be replaced with, "Which car did you drive today?"

A daughter of a tycoon who was politically well-connected reportedly has a fleet of cars of different colors which she color coordinates with her outfits. She will drive the red one if she wears a red dress, and the blue one if she is in a blue outfit. You might wonder what will happen if the tycoon turns out to be "black" (oops, that word is becoming a no-no) and business takes a tumble. Would it be a case of no car, no dress for her?

There are lots of new model cars on Jakarta roads today. Some are small, some are big. Some are assembled here, some are imported. All are great to look at, so how could you resist the temptation of buying such a car? If you don't have the cash, don't worry, you can still get one. The down payment is small and the interest rate is low, according to the dealer.

"If you buy it in installments, when you start the engine, it will wail 'debt ... debt ... debt'" joked a friend who took a car loan from her office.

No wonder the waiting list for several model cars is long.

A huge car expo is being held here, featuring expensive, built-up cars from different makers. Take the 4,000 cc Jaguar, for example. This great car can race along the highway at up to 240 km per hour. So, no matter how far your office is, the car will get you there in no time at all, right? Wrong.

"Where can you drive such a car? Here the maximum speed is only 40 kilometers per hour," a man said, shaking his head as he looked at the information brochure. Despite its fabulous engine, it will crawl along crowded streets, or stop dead in a traffic jam. In reality, it may run slower than the bajaj (three-wheeled motorized pedicab).

How about sports cars with folding sunroofs? Vehicles which we once only knew from photographs and movies are now offered here for up to Rp 2 billion. You might imagine yourself as James Bond or Tom Cruise driving such a car, but not in Beverly Hills or Palm Beach, but in the Blok M area or the Hotel Indonesia traffic circle.

Think twice about how hot it will be under the baking sun and the noise as you are squeezed among the convoy of cars, buses and other vehicles. When you slow down a bit to wipe away the sweat, all of a sudden a speeding Metromini is bound to pass you and leave a trail of choking black smoke in its wake.

It's true that public transportation drivers are often blamed for the reckless way they drive, and yet there are also many drivers of private cars who suddenly turn left or right, or stop without giving a signal. Some refuse to queue, changing lanes and overtaking other vehicles at will. Or there are those who honk if you drive too slowly for their liking, or if you dare to slow down when the traffic light turns from green to yellow.

And how often do you see a driver or a passenger of a private car -- luxury or "ordinary" -- who chucks litters out of the window? Or, worse, has no second thoughts about spitting from the vehicle.

You are not what you drive, but you are how you drive.

-- T. Sima Gunawan