Is self-esteem what we think and feel about ourselves?

Pri Notowidigdo, The Amrop Hever Group, Global Executive Search, (e-mail:jakarta@amrophever.com)

Do our job titles and the trappings of the position determine our self esteem? Is our self esteem dependent on what other people think?

What is self-esteem anyway? These questions came to mind as I listened to a candidate talk. He was appointed as Human Resources Director for a major multinational bank.

My candidate's task to address the human resource issues facing a pending corporate acquisition would be a major challenge for him. This was sweetened by a compensation package beyond his expectations.

My eyebrows went up, though, when he complained that the company car (a Volvo) provided with the package would be the same as the one he was driving now. He indicated that he was expecting a Mercedes. He expressed concern that people would not give him due respect.

What is self esteem?

Nathaniel Brandon, a psychologist, has, in my opinion, the most practical definition of self-esteem. Brandon's definition has two parts to it: One part is "confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the basic challenges of life."

The other part is "confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants and to enjoy the fruits of our efforts."

Can we say then that my candidate in the above situation has self esteem? Or, does he have a poor self concept because he is dependent on what other people may say about him?

This is not to imply that without self-esteem, we would not be able to achieve anything. Some of us may have the talent and drive to achieve a great deal in spite of a poor self-concept. My candidate has been a highly productive professional. But has he experienced true joy in his achievements?

Self-esteem allows us to experience satisfaction.

In today's business world, organizations need not only a much higher level of knowledge and skill among professionals, but also a higher level of personal autonomy, self-reliance, self-trust and the capacity to exercise initiative, in a word, self-esteem.

The greater the number of choices and decisions we need to make at a conscious level, the more urgent our need for self- esteem.

How can we cultivate self-esteem? Experts in this field talked about sources of self-esteem.

Among many sources, three stand out for me. One is living responsibly with integrity. Another is acquiring values to guide our actions and principles to guide our lives.

A third source is developing ourselves to feel secure within ourselves by trusting our own mental processes and not from basing our feelings of self-worth on results, which do not always depend on ourselves.

We may become successful, popular and wealthy but may end up still searching for that "something" within ourselves, or "self- esteem."

Self-esteem is an intimate experience. Is it not what we think and feel about ourselves, as opposed to what someone else thinks and feels?