Is national reconciliation feasible?

Is national reconciliation feasible?

JAKARTA (JP): "If only there were a button one could push to
wipe the ribbon of life clean, so that he could begin again..."
wrote Harold Robbins in The Pirate.

And that kind of magic button is what, apparently, this nation
is looking for with the proposal to form the National
Reconciliation Team. This team, if I understand correctly, will
work hard to facilitate reconciliation between the victims of
misconduct, wrongdoing and brutality and those who are accused of
perpetrating these acts.

It is an idea we have to hail. With national reconciliation we
will forgive each other and put all grudges, anger, prejudice and
hard feeling into the past and start anew. That way, we could
concentrate on building this nation in a better fashion than that
which has gone before.

Bearing a grudge is just like holding a coin tightly in your
hand. The longer you hold it, the more painful it becomes. It
consumes energy and concentration which would be better put to
constructive uses. By bearing a grudge you are apt to do poorly
what you could do well.

I was once so anguished by what my boss did to me that I could
have killed him. He did apologize, but I thought it was not
enough. For months I was in despair, trying to find a way to
teach him a lesson. It was Pangulu, my best friend, who came to
the rescue.

"You've been wasting your time. Holding a grudge is a burden
and it won't do you any good. After all, he has apologized. Do
something that will take your mind off his mistake and heal your
broken heart," he ordered, and with that, dragged me off to his
favorite sanctuary, the fishing pond.

While fishing, Pangulu lectured me about the art of healing.
"Forgiving is the art of healing," he said, quoting an article in
the Reader's Digest. "Believe me, you'll feel much better if you
accept the apology."

Pangulu was right. I felt as though a burden weighing tons had
been lifted from my shoulders. Now, learning from what I
experienced, I want to hail the idea of forming a reconciliation
team.

"Another team?" interjected Mrs. Ifa, my fellow teacher who is
also a psychologist. "No, not again! There have been so many
teams, committees, communication forums and the like. And we are
still going nowhere".

"Let it be," retorted Mrs. Dinar, her best friend. "It will
justify Indonesia's global reputation for forming teams."

She then told a joke about a plane crash. A few minutes before
the crash, the pilot asked passengers to come up with ideas to
help mend the aircraft and prevent it from crashing. Everybody
came up with ideas, all except an Indonesian, who calming
suggested that the passengers set up a fact-finding team. And
that's when the aircraft plunged into the sea.

"We need to wipe the ribbon..." I said.

"C'mon! That kind of ribbon no longer exists. Everything is
recorded on CD ROM's. You can't crease it just like that,"
continued Mrs. Ifa sardonically.

"What I mean is," she continued, "the hurt caused by all the
wrongdoings is so deep that it will be very hard to forget. Look
at what we have gone through. Fear, torture, poverty, famine, you
name it -- it's unbearable. Shouldn't somebody be held
responsible for that? And to think of the tremendous amount of
money that has gone astray!"

"But to keep that in your mind will just make things worse.
You'll be carried away by the feeling and become reluctant to
take more constructive steps," I argued.

"By the way, can you tell me exactly what the national
reconciliation is all about?" asked Mrs. Dinar.

Frankly speaking, a clear concept of reconciliation has not
been defined by those who came up with the idea. But it has been
like a red rag to a bull! Everybody is talking about it, as
always. Many people have pointed out different meanings of the
word reconciliation. Some have even got an Indonesian word for
it, rujuk, which means the action taken by a divorced couple when
they remarry. Now, who are the divorced couple?

My dictionary offers six different meanings of the verb "to
reconcile", but the ones most relevant to our current situation
are "to settle or resolve a dispute" and "to bring to acceptance
or acquiescence."

The first, which apparently means rujuk, will generate a
series of questions as to what dispute to settle first because
there are so many disputes between the government and the people;
between political leaders; between losers and winners; old
leaders and new leaders; retired officials and active officials.
It could take two decades to settle all the disputes -- the list
is longer than the Mahakam River. Meanwhile, the number of people
living below the poverty line will continue to increase.

The second meaning denotes acceptance or acquiescence. This is
what Mrs. Ifa, like other "TV talkers" thinks is hard to do. "I
agree that to forgive is divine, but it cannot be done at the
push of a button. Before you forgive somebody and forget a
particular misdemeanor, you have to understand why the
perpetrator did it in the first place. You have to be convinced
that the same mistakes will not happen again and you must receive
a confession and an apology," she said.

"The trouble is, Indonesians, especially those in power, are
not good at admitting and apologizing," she rued . "So?"

The best way, I think, is to stop talking, blaming and
provoking others for a moment or two and indulge in a bit of
introspection. Let's focus on alleviating national poverty.
Meanwhile, time will heal all the pain we have endured so far.
Only then will we be able to push the magic button and bring
about that elusive reconciliation.

-- Carl Chairul