Internet helps create colorful relationships

By Stevie Emilia

JAKARTA (JP): The Internet has gained much popularity here. Some regard it as an essential part of an urban lifestyle that allows them to have fun or to look for important information, while others, mostly parents, treat it with caution, fearing the indecent materials which are available on the system.

But the Internet turns out to be more important than just that. Some people also experience colorful relationships through the Internet.

Rita Risna, a university student, said the Net has helped her communicate with her busy boyfriend Andi.

She earlier thought that by each having mobile phones, their communication would be just fine. But Andi, who is working in the advertising division of a design company, was impossible to contact, especially during working hours. His mobile phone was turned off all the time.

When she told him her problem, he asked her to be patient since he did not want to jeopardize his work.

"But I was really upset. Sometimes when I wanted to talk to him, he was not there. There came a point when I thought our relationship would not work," said the fourth year economy student of the Indonesian Christian University.

Understanding her boyfriend was busy at work, she tried to figure a way out of their problem. She later found out the solution after Andi told her that he checked his e-mail every time he got to the office, and even at home.

"We decided then that the best way to communicate with each other is through e-mail," said 23-year-old Rita.

Even though the Internet has been in Indonesia since the late 1980s, only about 250,000 people in the country subscribe to the service. As for Rita, it was not until she got the idea to communicate with her boyfriend via e-mail that she decided to learn how the Net really works. She took a crash course from a friend to learn simple things like how to surf the Net and how to send and receive e-mails. And last February she finally subscribed to the Net.

"It turns out not so difficult after all," Rita laughed. "And what makes me really happy is that Andi replies to my e-mails faster than he used to return my phone calls, even at his office."

As she gets to know the Internet better, so her relationship has improved. "I don't feel upset anymore, our relationship is just fine although we are only able to meet each other once a week," said Rita.

The Internet turns out to be important not just to enhance one's relationship, but can even be used to build one in the first place.

M. Ikhsan, a researcher at a surveyor company, said the Net helped him to get a girlfriend, Sundari (not her real name).

He said he met her briefly while attending a seminar with friends early this year. At that time they only managed to exchange name cards.

"I like her, but with so many people around it's difficult," laughed the 28-year-old Ikhsan.

With her name card in his hand, he tried to get in touch with her.

"I earlier thought of calling her at the office. But I was afraid she would not remember me. It would be humiliating. So to be on the safe side, I sent her an e-mail. It turned out she remembered me and replied to my e-mail," said Ikhsan, a regular Net user both at home and the office.

Since then they correspond regularly, learning about each others habits and favorite things. "We talk about everything, work, family and even our favorite food. It's so easy to talk with her," Ikhsan recalled.

But it was not until two months later, in May, Ikhsan finally had the courage to ask her out. "I thought I would be nervous, but I wasn't. Instead, I felt like I had known her for a long time," he said.

And in July, she "officially" became his girl after he asked her through the Internet. "But I did ask her once again when we met, just to see how she would react," said the now confident and smiling Ikhsan.

The Internet doesn't only serve to build ones relationships, but it also helps in saving money on international calls, as it can be used for smooth communication with a loved one on the other side of the world.

Through the net architect Dedi Atmadja manages to chat everyday with his girlfriend of four years, Anggie, who is currently studying in Cleveland, Ohio.

"I usually send her simple e-mails, asking her not to forget to eat or telling her not to study too hard," Dedi said.

According to him, this constant communication makes him feel still close to her.

"I'm not a selfish man who can stop his girlfriend when she wants to study abroad," Dedi said.

But later, he experienced serious communication problems with her.

"We used to talk for hours over the phone here, so when she was away, I felt really lost," Dedi said.

He tried international phone calls only to find them too expensive for him.

He recalled that when his girlfriend left over two years ago, he called her anytime he felt like doing so. As a result his phone bill escalated

"Don't ask me about my phone bills. They are killing me. Most of my salary went to pay them," said Dedi, refusing to disclose the amount.

His solution came when his girlfriend started subscribing to the Net, spurring Dedi to install a computer and modem at his home, instead of simply relying on the one in his work place. These days he sends e-mails to his girlfriend at least three times a day.

"Sending e-mails is much cheaper than calling her. It's better if I use my money to go and visit her rather than spending it all on phone bills."