'Indos' in Holland enjoy best of two different world
Leony Aurora, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta
It is easy for Indonesians to feel at home in the Netherlands. Just stand in the middle of a market, and amid the swirls of people rushing to buy bread or fruit or meat, one is very likely to hear Indonesian words flying around.
These Indonesian words are mostly uttered by the Indo-Dutch -- people of mixed blood with either one of their parents or grandparents being from Indonesia.
They are the descendants of the first wave of immigrants to Holland from Indonesia after the government of the newly-born state gave them two years in 1949 to decide whether they wanted to retain their Dutch nationality or take Indonesian citizenship.
Then, beginning in the 1970s, more Indonesians started to flow into the Netherlands to work and to study and, eventually, become Dutch citizens.
As these people built up their lives and families, a new generation was born -- those who were born and raised in the Netherlands.
For them, Indonesia, with its white sandy beaches and exotic tropical fruits, remains for most a place to visit from time to time.
"When you say Indonesia, my first thoughts are: family, friends, but especially vacation and holiday," said Deborah Lim, 24, whose parents are both Indonesians who came to the Netherlands to find work.
"When I was younger, I just thought it was a wonderful place for a vacation with a loving family that would do anything for me," said Joyce van den Wijngaart, 25, whose mother is Indonesian.
Although the members of the second and third generation still feel an attachment to Indonesia as a country, they consider themselves to be Dutch -- but with an edge.
"I'm a Dutch girl with a color and with an additional culture," said Verena van der Laan, whose father is Dutch and mother is Indonesian. "For me, being an Indo girl means that I can switch between the two cultures," said the 32-year-old psychology lecturer.
Indo here refers to mixed-blood Dutch.
Integrating smoothly into a society that has embraced many other cultures, this generation finds the different customs consoling rather than confusing.
Joyce said that she enjoyed the Indonesian way of having meals together, even with unexpected guests, which might seem strange to the Dutch.
"Our family always cooks a lot of food and guests are more than welcome," said Joyce.
"Appointments are not very important for me. But I know that if I want to visit someone, I have to call first," she added.
Parts of Indonesian culture, of course, have proved to be stumbling blocks. Royce Darmin always asks her Indonesian friends to come earlier than the appointment time and reminds them "don't be jam karet", which literally means "rubber time" - always being late.
For Karin van der Laan, Verena's sister, emotions can be perceived differently. "Getting angry means losing face (in Indonesia)," she said. "In Holland, it's the other way around. If you don't speak your mind, you're 'weak,'" added the 29-year-old.
Although they unequivocally support the Dutch soccer team, there is one thing that binds Indonesia to their hearts: "Food! Eating together is very important!" said Verena.
"I think that's the one thing that does not make me completely a Dutchman," said Richard Lim, Deborah's younger brother.
It is indeed difficult for these young people to imagine the real Indonesia. The country is limited to them as stories from the past - war stories and tales of pre-1970s childhoods -- news on television that portrays all that is difficult and horrible here, or brief glances during their short holidays.
Nevertheless, perhaps these Indos have the best of both worlds over there: a more efficient and prosperous homeland, and the glorious reminders of a second home, with its spicy cuisine, superb scenery and loving families.