Indonesia's disabled face on uncertain future

By Theresia Ariswari

YOGYAKARTA (JP): Being disabled in Indonesia is not an easy thing.

I want to be treated with the same dignity as anyone else. I am a citizen with the same rights as any educated person in my country, but I'm not treated the same.

I have been disabled since childhood. I have always lacked the strength for normal activities at home or at school. For example, getting on the bus and climbing up stairs is difficult. I have a disease which is called polyneuropathy and I have not been able to feel my condition getting worse. When I was a child, I could walk up and down the steps but even then I was weaker than my friends. My friends did not ask me to join them at games because I could not run as fast as them. So I became passive. But I kept on studying and graduated from senior high school, majoring in economics and social affairs.

My parents did not know anything about my disease, nor did my brothers and sisters. Therefore they were very surprised to see my condition getting worse. My two brothers cared for me; they understood how I felt and comforted me by taking me to walks around Yogyakarta, or to the movies. But when I saw the way people pitied me, I became upset and started to wonder why I was alive, how I could survive. I became depressive and even tried to commit suicide, five times. But then I remembered that it was forbidden, so I decided to try to solve the problem myself. I read many books and that helped a lot.

There is nothing wrong with my body. I have two legs, two hands, and can walk. However, I cannot walk up and down steps; my body feels heavy. I have to hold on to the bannister, or I might fall over and be unable to get up again.

Every year my condition gets worse. I never exercised in the past; I regret that now. I ate without thinking. I rarely had breakfast and fasted. Now, when I squat, I cannot get up again and I have to find something to hold on to. I cannot stand for a long time without holding on to something. I used to be able to walk quite far, but not anymore. I never get on the bus alone.

Last year, I went to live at a rehabilitation center for physically disabled people. I was able to improve my English there, and I had dreams of going on to university. My friends supported me, but it was not as easy as I thought.

There are problems for disabled people in Indonesia that stop them adapting to normal society; there are few facilities for the disabled here, in hospitals, universities and schools. When we want to go to university it is difficult for us to walk up the steps. When we want to get on a public transport vehicle, we can't do this alone, and it makes us feel depressed and dependent. The drivers get annoyed at us because it takes a long time for us to get on, and they are not patient enough to wait. They do not realize that disabled passengers are human beings with the same rights as normal people. We pay for the bus, so we want to be respected.

Many people do not realize that a disabled person has feelings too; deep in our hearts we are hurt by the way we are treated. A friend of mine in a wheelchair joined the open university, but at examination time he had to think hard how to get to the examination hall; there are a lot of steps and no special help is given to disabled people.

I am a woman who needs social recognition. I know that people are prejudiced and pity disabled people. A few people acknowledge disability, but that does not guarantee we can live in a "normal society" as normal people who can find love, affection, education, and work in a company. I feel it's hard to get ahead while people retain their opinion that disabled people are useless and to be pitied.

Even though we realize that we are disabled and it is often stressful for us to face the world, this does not mean that our condition is the end of the world. I believe that disabled people have to fight off the prejudices of people who do not care about them and have to prove to society that we also have talents which can be developed.

Disabled people are enslaved by shame and fear. We cannot develop our talents when such emotions prevail. We need to acknowledge that we also have something which we can be proud of.

There are some rehabilitation centers in Indonesia to integrate disabled people into the community. However, after we have been sent home, most of us find it difficult to adapt to our old environment because society has not accepted us yet. So we stay at home and pointlessly mull our fate. At home we get bored, yet we become reluctant to meet people.

Disabled people also need love and marriage, but the problem is that it is difficult for someone with a disability to get married. In rehabilitation centers marriage is common but outside people are surprised to see disabled people as married couples.

There is another problem. Disabled people can work in the rehabilitation center where they have been rehabilitated, but job opportunities are limited. Most of us cannot apply to big companies because of our condition, although a few disabled people do succeed.

There are light and severe disabilities. It is easy for people with a light disability to perform daily activities, but not for more severe cases. We have to accept our condition and cannot do anything to earn a better living, because out strength is limited. Our future is therefore more difficult than those with a light disability. In our lives there is less hope for is to reach our dreams and goals.

I quit my job even though I liked it very much. I have been able to live with my disability, but there are still many disabled people who need money to integrate into the community.

There are some disabled people who need special attention. Our talents need to be developed to help us reach our dreams and goals. There are many disabled people who have talents for art, science, or languages. They need funds and acknowledgment from society and support from their family.

Right now Indonesia needs young pioneers who can take an active part in developing the country. It would be good if disabled people could participate. If disabled people work, they are less dependent on others.

As long as disabled people do not have enough education, they won't be able to realize their dreams. They just think of their disability, and accept their destiny, even though deep in their hearts they want to be released from fear.

Should people like me give up and accept destiny? Or should we fight social prejudice and fight for our dreams and goals?

I wonder what the future holds for disabled people in Indonesia?