'Indonesian men are not straightforward'

Sri Ramadani, Contributor, Jakarta

Singer Titi DJ began her career in the 1980s when she dated musician Indra Lesmana while still a teenager. In 1984, the pair collaborated on her first album, Imajinasi (Imagination). In the 1990s her fame rocketed as she scored such hits as Bintang- Bintang (Stars), Ekspresi (Expression) and Salahkah Aku (Am I Wrong?).

The 35-year-old mother of four -- twins Salma Chetizsa and Salwaa Chetizsa, Daffa and Stephanie -- has also worked with Guruh Soekarnoputra's dance group Swara Mahardika and played the roles of Lolo and Mrs. Fabiola on the hit television series Lenong Rumpi in the early 1990s.

Though she has had some much-publicized failures in her love life, her career has continued to flourish. Now married for a second time, to Texas-born Andrew Hollis Dougharty (her first marriage to actor Bucek Depp ended in divorce), Titi is riding high with her new hit song Sang Dewi.

If you had the choice, what would you be doing now?

I would like to be painting. I never finished the paintings I started during my first and second pregnancies. My twins have complained that I never finished their portraits. I love to paint flowers, children or self-portraits.

What makes you tick?

The demands of life (laughs). I do love and enjoy working. Many of my friends do not enjoy their work or they get stressed out from their jobs. I think there are both good things and bad things about work, and they both have to be accepted.

Which trait do you most like about yourself?

I can control my emotions. If there is some criticism of me, I can accept it and just laugh and think that there is a person who cares about me.

And deplore?

I can be sensitive and mushy. If something goes wrong in my show, I will be sad.

Whom do you admire?

Mother Theresa for all her sacrifices. I admire meritorious people. The late Pranajaya, Guruh Soekarnoputra, Elfa Secioria. I also admire my husband and Dewi "Dee" Lestari, who is so talented at such a young age.

If you were still the same age as Dewi, what would you be doing?

I would be dating.

What kind of clothes do you like to wear?

It depends on whom I am going out with. When I was dating Indra, I wore clothes that covered everything. I had to wear lady-like clothes because I was dating the son of a prominent couple.

Do you worry about your weight?

Yes, I do. Audiences demand to be entertained not only by my voice but also by my looks. When I was fat, I didn't have as many shows.

What was the last book you read?

Demagus of Java by Kosta Danaos. It's about a logical man who doesn't believe in magic.

What makes you angry?

My or someone else's mistakes. I can get so angry at little things that should not have happened.

When was the last time you were angry?

Sometime last week. I am embarrassed to tell you about it. But I am now happy with my success. A smile is not expensive.

What characteristics do you dislike in others?

Arrogance, though I can understand if really talented people are snobbish.

What makes you laugh?

My children. My son Daffa really understands me. If I look sad or tired, he will come over and cheer me up.

What makes you sad?

I became really sad one time in Lawry's restaurant in Plaza Senayan. I had ordered roasted chicken but after five minutes they told me there wasn't any chicken. I would have been angry but I couldn't. I just thought about how hungry I was. Then I thought what if my children were starving? I started crying and my husband was confused, he didn't know what had happened to me.

What is your favorite smell?

I like spices because they have a unique fragrance. Fruits can smell fresh. I am not fond of any one perfume. I don't want people to know I have arrived from the fragrance of my perfume.

What makes life worth living?

Feeling secure, loving and being loved, being healthy, as I have been sick, and the belief that God will help us solve our problems, whatever they are.

Do you have a favorite song?

I like Star by Simply Red. I get an eerie feeling whenever I hear that song.

And movie?

I like to watch movies but I always forget the titles. I like Moulin Rounge and the Devil's Advocate.

What characteristics do you love in foreign men?

I don't know many foreign men so I can't compare one with another. Usually, they are frank with their opinions.

And Indonesian men?

They lack straightforwardness. Sometimes that can be a problem for me.

What is the cost of popularity?

It doesn't mean very much because my job is pretty much the same as other jobs. If we do good work, money and popularity will follow. My goal is not popularity but to be good and to live.

Do you have any regrets in your life?

When I was teenager and dating Indra, I was too proud of him, as though nobody else was as good as him. It was like I was wearing blinders, so I couldn't see anything else. I wish I could have taken off the blinders.

How would you like to be remembered?

I would like to be remembered as Titi who is funny, forgiving and attentive.

If the world were going to end in 24 hours, what would you do?

Be with my children, husband, mother, older and younger brothers. I wouldn't want to be alone.

What three things would you take with you if you were stranded on a desert island?

Mosquito repellent and netting, a pan to boil water, matches and a gun to hunt food in order to survive (laughs).