Sun, 18 Mar 2001

Indonesia, a country of convenience!

JAKARTA (JP): One may think that visiting Indonesia is risky; what with the riots, demonstrations, robberies, bombings and all that.

But the truth is different, at least for those who have been here for quite some time. Take it from James, an American expatriate who works for a computer company.

Upon his arrival, he immediately fell in love with this country, in particular Jakarta. It's so full of convenience and leisure. Imagine, the President is able to run a country with 210 million people which he can treat like a remote-control toy! He can give orders, make confusing statements, launch accusations about his political rivals, even fire his ministers from his jet plane thousands of miles away.

As for James, he can live in Jakarta just like the President (minus state protocol). His income is not too high for an expatriate, but thanks to the plummeting value of the rupiah, he can afford almost anything. He can hire two maids, a beautician for his wife, a cook, a gardener, a butler, a barman, two drivers, two security attendants, and, of course, a personal masseur who springs to attention every time he or his wife complain about being tired.

"Where else can I get this kind of convenience at such an affordable price?" he reasoned. "And, don't forget, this way I can help Indonesia by providing jobs for the needy." (Thanks, James. I hope other expatriates take it from you.)

His first surprise came when he stepped down from his car in the middle of a heavy rainstorm. Coming from nowhere, somebody suddenly offered him an umbrella. How convenient! And what amazed him was the price he had to pay for a service that saved him from embarrassment (he was about to see somebody important). All he needed to pay was only ... wait a minute! He still cannot figure out how much it is in U.S. dollars.

Well, with the approximate exchange rate of Rp 10,000 to the U.S. dollar in this era of reform, foreigners are forced to raise their eyebrows every time they want to make payments in rupiah. The value of this currency has reached its lowest level since Gus Dur took control of the country, once known as the beautiful, peaceful, and prosperous land (hey, remember the song, Rayuan Pulau Kelapa, that we used to sing proudly at every independence day celebration?). Imagine whether it is possible to make a quick conversion of Rp 300 (the price for the umbrella service that James was requested to pay) into U.S. dollars?

The other day, he had dinner at on open-air restaurant. A group of young singers entertained him with country songs. He loved their performance and was ready to pull out a 50,000 rupiah bill from his pocket for the singers. But his host whispered that he only had to pay Rp 100.

Again, it took him a while to work out the conversion before he shouted, "That's only one cent!"

This is a fact that politicians and top-level government officials need to think about. If they still keep busy sharpening their claws, the value of the rupiah will decrease even further and our currency will look like mickey-mouse money among international currencies.

Back to the issue of convenience, Mike, another friend of mine, has another story. He came all the way from Colorado to work in a geothermal project. By the time he arrived, the company he was supposed to work for had to say goodbye to the project as the government had conveniently decided to terminate their contract. I say "conveniently", because the government never worries about the hefty penalty it had to pay as the result of the termination. It's paid by members of the public.

As for Mike, he didn't have any intention of returning home although the company compensated him financially and provided him with a ticket for a homeward bound trip. Just like James, he loves the convenience of living in Indonesia. An Indonesian friend offered him to work as an English language instructor. He doesn't have the faintest idea about teaching, though he is confident he won't have much of a problem, providing his students do not ask him to explain complicated grammar structures or to spell troublesome words such as proliferation, exaggeration, and the like.

When it comes to learning English, Indonesians are very fond of native speakers. A language institution will be sought if it puts a "native speaker" label on the brochure. Whether the so- called native speakers are true language instructors or not, doesn't matter very much. Some institutions hire low-income tourists at Jl. Kebon Sirih to talk in front of their students and they call it a native speaker session. How convenient!

Convenience is also something that our government officials and politicians enjoy extensively. Take, for instance, a minister. Apart from the fat check he receives every month, plus an endless chain of facilities, he gets red-carpet treatment wherever he goes. And, for those kind of privileges, he doesn't even have to know his job. All he needs to do is follow the boss's instructions or keep his mouth tightly shut. If something goes wrong, or he fails to accomplish an assignment, a scapegoat is there for his convenience: the New Order government!

Sure, there are some ministers who have rolled up their sleeves and got to work as soon as they have received their Volvo's. But how many of them do that? The fact is, after a year in office, they haven't done much to get us out of economic crisis.

The highest level of convenience, of course, is enjoyed by the President. The fact that he cannot have his dream plane, an Air Force One type of aircraft, does not seem to ease his travel frenzy. And recently, amid the killing and torturing in Sampit and Palangkaraya, he took off to the Middle East, taking along an Army-sized entourage.

The worsening situation did not make him cut short his trip and return to where he was most needed. He probably thought that, just by pushing a number of buttons, he could control the situation. But no! By the time he arrived back after finishing his things abroad, approximately 500 people had been killed, 40,000 evacuated to Java, while 15,000 others were still stranded in the middle of nowhere. Only then did he decide to pay a little attention.

Oh, how convenient!

-- Carl Chairul