Indonesia, a country of convenience!

Indonesia, a country of convenience!

JAKARTA (JP): One may think that visiting Indonesia is risky;
what with the riots, demonstrations, robberies, bombings and all
that.

But the truth is different, at least for those who have been
here for quite some time. Take it from James, an American
expatriate who works for a computer company.

Upon his arrival, he immediately fell in love with this
country, in particular Jakarta. It's so full of convenience and
leisure. Imagine, the President is able to run a country with 210
million people which he can treat like a remote-control toy! He
can give orders, make confusing statements, launch accusations
about his political rivals, even fire his ministers from his jet
plane thousands of miles away.

As for James, he can live in Jakarta just like the President
(minus state protocol). His income is not too high for an
expatriate, but thanks to the plummeting value of the rupiah, he
can afford almost anything. He can hire two maids, a beautician
for his wife, a cook, a gardener, a butler, a barman, two
drivers, two security attendants, and, of course, a personal
masseur who springs to attention every time he or his wife
complain about being tired.

"Where else can I get this kind of convenience at such an
affordable price?" he reasoned. "And, don't forget, this way I
can help Indonesia by providing jobs for the needy." (Thanks,
James. I hope other expatriates take it from you.)

His first surprise came when he stepped down from his car in
the middle of a heavy rainstorm. Coming from nowhere, somebody
suddenly offered him an umbrella. How convenient! And what amazed
him was the price he had to pay for a service that saved him from
embarrassment (he was about to see somebody important). All he
needed to pay was only ... wait a minute! He still cannot figure
out how much it is in U.S. dollars.

Well, with the approximate exchange rate of Rp 10,000 to the
U.S. dollar in this era of reform, foreigners are forced to raise
their eyebrows every time they want to make payments in rupiah.
The value of this currency has reached its lowest level since Gus
Dur took control of the country, once known as the beautiful,
peaceful, and prosperous land (hey, remember the song, Rayuan
Pulau Kelapa, that we used to sing proudly at every independence
day celebration?). Imagine whether it is possible to make a quick
conversion of Rp 300 (the price for the umbrella service that
James was requested to pay) into U.S. dollars?

The other day, he had dinner at on open-air restaurant. A
group of young singers entertained him with country songs. He
loved their performance and was ready to pull out a 50,000 rupiah
bill from his pocket for the singers. But his host whispered that
he only had to pay Rp 100.

Again, it took him a while to work out the conversion before
he shouted, "That's only one cent!"

This is a fact that politicians and top-level government
officials need to think about. If they still keep busy sharpening
their claws, the value of the rupiah will decrease even further
and our currency will look like mickey-mouse money among
international currencies.

Back to the issue of convenience, Mike, another friend of
mine, has another story. He came all the way from Colorado to
work in a geothermal project. By the time he arrived, the company
he was supposed to work for had to say goodbye to the project as
the government had conveniently decided to terminate their
contract. I say "conveniently", because the government never
worries about the hefty penalty it had to pay as the result of
the termination. It's paid by members of the public.

As for Mike, he didn't have any intention of returning home
although the company compensated him financially and provided him
with a ticket for a homeward bound trip. Just like James, he
loves the convenience of living in Indonesia. An Indonesian
friend offered him to work as an English language instructor. He
doesn't have the faintest idea about teaching, though he is
confident he won't have much of a problem, providing his students
do not ask him to explain complicated grammar structures or to
spell troublesome words such as proliferation, exaggeration, and
the like.

When it comes to learning English, Indonesians are very fond
of native speakers. A language institution will be sought if it
puts a "native speaker" label on the brochure. Whether the so-
called native speakers are true language instructors or not,
doesn't matter very much. Some institutions hire low-income
tourists at Jl. Kebon Sirih to talk in front of their students
and they call it a native speaker session. How convenient!

Convenience is also something that our government officials
and politicians enjoy extensively. Take, for instance, a
minister. Apart from the fat check he receives every month, plus
an endless chain of facilities, he gets red-carpet treatment
wherever he goes. And, for those kind of privileges, he doesn't
even have to know his job. All he needs to do is follow the
boss's instructions or keep his mouth tightly shut. If something
goes wrong, or he fails to accomplish an assignment, a scapegoat
is there for his convenience: the New Order government!

Sure, there are some ministers who have rolled up their
sleeves and got to work as soon as they have received their
Volvo's. But how many of them do that? The fact is, after a year
in office, they haven't done much to get us out of economic
crisis.

The highest level of convenience, of course, is enjoyed by the
President. The fact that he cannot have his dream plane, an Air
Force One type of aircraft, does not seem to ease his travel
frenzy. And recently, amid the killing and torturing in Sampit
and Palangkaraya, he took off to the Middle East, taking along an
Army-sized entourage.

The worsening situation did not make him cut short his trip
and return to where he was most needed. He probably thought that,
just by pushing a number of buttons, he could control the
situation. But no! By the time he arrived back after finishing
his things abroad, approximately 500 people had been killed,
40,000 evacuated to Java, while 15,000 others were still stranded
in the middle of nowhere. Only then did he decide to pay a little
attention.

Oh, how convenient!

-- Carl Chairul