In praise of older women -- our moms

"A mother is a child's best friend," the saying goes.

My mother, my best friend?

I cannot honestly say that my mother and I always saw eye to eye. As a matter of fact, for quite some years of growing up, I do not think that a mother is a favorite person for many, the reason being that she is also our greatest critic and task- master.

Now having become a mother, I appreciate and sympathize with my own. I think it's the same for most of us; it takes being a mother or a parent in us to appreciate the role of a mother.

I think a mother a few years back had something which is lacking in the mother of today: time. She gave her undivided attention when we came home from school, allowed us to use her as a sounding board, pacified us when we were hurt.

Of course she scolded us, corrected us, criticized us, pulled us up for bad academic performance, egged us on to do better, made a better person out of us.

Sometimes we might have wondered if she really loved us at all. Now with the wisdom of all these years I am sure we accept her criticism. If not her, who has the right to correct us?

Today's mother also does all the above things, albeit a trifle impatiently, because we are now living in a changed world.

The mother of today seems to be more into comparing her child's performance with that of other children in the present competitive world. The logic is fairly simple -- her child should be the best -- so even then she has her child as her first priority.

And I remember disappointing my mother in many ways.

She wanted me to learn music; I never had an ear for it. She wanted me to be a good cook; I never had a taste for it. She wanted me to be an artist; I never had an eye for it.

Yet, when she saw my amateur scribbling, she was the first to notice and encourage my humble effort in creative writing. Although most children have a golden rule of not liking what their mother likes, but no mother holds that against her children.

We vent our frustrations on her, argue with her, rarely help her out and call her a nag, yet she puts up with us! She continues handing out her advice, and now we repeat it to our children. Alas, they call us a nag! Even after flying away from her nest, she helps us out whenever we turn to her. Never does she place her comfort before our needs! God bless her.

Whenever my mother visits us she turns out our cupboards, sews on buttons, does all those little things we modern women have no time for. Not to forget that she pulls me up, much to my spouse's delight!

We all must remember with shame the innumerable times we must have hurt her. Yet, she forgives us for all our tantrums, teen angst and sometimes even our self-centeredness.

She holds our hand when we need her the most. She teaches us to laugh, share things, to be compassionate and considerate. She supports us when we learn to walk.

She also knows when to let go so that we can stand on our own two feet. She gives us strong roots so that we can spread our branches far and wide. She teaches us to fly and soar high without clipping our wings.

In spite of doing so much, she never throws the words, "How much I sacrificed for you" in our faces. The most surprising aspect is that we think all our efforts in studies, manners and deportment are solely for the parents' benefit and we are doing so only to please our parents. It's only over time that we learn that they have a much greater and far-reaching importance in our lives.

Most important of all, we never miss an opportunity to remind our parents, particularly mothers, of our every tiny, imagined sacrifice. Of course, we feel guilty about it, but we can't help picking a fight with our mothers. After all, they are meant to work our frustrations on!

When she worries about us, we feel happy. When she inquires about our well-being, we feel wanted. When she prays for us, we feel blessed. No wonder God made a mother!

A mother is someone who is soft yet tough, who has tremendous patience and lots of endurance. No one can doubt her depth of love for all her children. She cooks for us, cleans for us and still lends us a hand in the completion of our chores.

She is someone we turn to when in despair, certain she will find a way to help us. It is to a mother a child calls out to when in tears, sure that her lap is a place to find solace!

When we are sick, there is nothing more comforting than a mother's hand on our fevered brow. Of all God's creations, a mother is truly remarkable, but she is also one whom we take for granted so often.

So, on Mother's Day, I can safely add here the universal feeling of all of us when I say: We love you, Mom, and thank you for being the best mother in the world.

-- Chandrika Radhakrishnan