I'm gonna make you love me

Rini Nurul Badariah

"I'm gonna make you love me."

Ratih felt choked the moment she heard the young man sitting next to her say it firmly and unhesitatingly..

She couldn't help turning her head to Bayu, hoping that she had misheard him, only to find confirmation that it was indeed this young man who had stated his declaration of love with great self-confidence.

"You must either be drunk or crazy," Ratih said, putting down her almost empty glass.

Bayu raised his thick, beautiful eyebrows.

"I'm completely sane and sober. What I have done is just what a man naturally does to a woman."

"And the woman who happens to be near you is me," Ratih said, shaking her head. "Come on, Yu, come to your senses. What has made you say such nonsense? Have you just read an amorous novel or seen a romantic film? "

Bayu only chuckled gently, suddenly sending thrills through Ratih. She got up from her seat and left him.

Unfortunately for Ratih, Bayu was insistent. He sent her the same declaration through telephone calls, letters, cards, fax messages and even by SMS.

"Please, stop terrorizing me," Ratih pleaded. "Don't make me angry or ..."

"Your definition of terror is that it is something that disturbs you and makes you depressed and displeased," Bayu cut in. "I don't think I belong to this category."

"You're much too self-confident," Ratih said, jabbing at Bayu's chest with her forefinger. "You are big-headed, you realize it?"

"Wait, wait," Bayu said, brushing aside Ratih's hand. "Am I not good enough to be your partner in life?"

The question caught Ratih by surprise. She had heard the same question from Tyas, her 12-year-old niece, who had met Bayu several times.

Moments later, Ratih regained her composure and giggled.

"If only I were ten years younger, I would certainly be infatuated with you."

"Oh, come on, that is an exaggeration," Bayu said, pouting. "You have said it as if I was just a teenager and you were a century old. You are only twenty days older than me."

Ratih smiled to herself. Bayu was indeed a very handsome young man. Even little Tyas admitted it. He was tall, of medium build and fair skinned. He had neat, pretty eyelashes and black hair. Some of Ratih's office mates whispered when Bayu came to her office to take her to lunch. They said his attractive smile left them restless and unable to sleep.

Even Ratih's family loved Bayu. Polite, smart and established, he was pursuing his master's degree at the country's most famous university. Well, what else did she need from him? And they had already known each other quite long.

"Uncle Bayu is a good friend and I agree that he has lots of pluses," Ratih said when Tyas pushed her for the umpteenth time. "But, Tyas, a handsome face and wealth are not enough to make one a good husband. See what I mean, Tyas?"

"In other words, Uncle Bayu is not good enough to be your husband, aunt Ratih?" Tyas asked again, more aggressively. Ratih stroked her breast as Tyas was very good at arguing.

"It's not what I mean."

"What, then?" Tyas asked again, looking at her aunt sharply. "You certainly won't remain single all your life?"

Ratih did not answer. She had no wish to continue arguing with Tyas.

"You must know that I won't just give up without any good reason," Bayu said in all seriousness. "You are not dating anybody now and neither am I, so..."

"Sometimes we do not need a reason for something," Ratih replied. "In my opinion we have different views about love."

"Rat, we are no longer teenagers," Bayu argued. "Is the love you want is the kind of love that will thrill you and make your heart beat faster when we meet? Or the kind of love that makes you have nightmares, feel shy and awkward, like what we had while we were high school students?

"Perhaps," Ratih said, in a challenging tone. "You know I'm the conservative type. And perhaps I can no longer fall in love again."

Bayu put his face closer to hers.

"Rat, don't be selfish. Tyas would like to see you happy. She would like to see you have a husband, someone that she can rightfully call her uncle. "

"Don't involve Tyas in this matter," Ratih said, angrily. "So, it is you that has influenced her, eh? She knows nothing, you know!"

"You're mistaken," Bayu said. "Tyas knows a lot. She knows that you still have not got Gatot off your mind. You have rejected me because, for you, I am nothing compared to him."

Ratih was startled. She had not heard this name mentioned for quite a long time; still, the moment she heard it, it sent a pang of excitment through her heart.

"Don't be childish. I know that no two persons, not even twins, are identical in this world."

"Admit it, Rat. Why deny it? I want to hear it straight from your mouth. Why must I compete with a dead man?"

Ratih turned her head. Her cheeks were wet. "You have hurt me enough, Yu. Or you want to hurt me more? Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

It was Bayu's turn to be silent.

At a time like this, Ratih felt a deep longing to see Gatot although she realized that this man, who filled her days with the sweet taste of love, would never come back.

Gatot was quite different from Bayu. He was composed and independent. He was modest, cheerful and would always warm her heart with his encouragement. Although he gave the impression of indifference, he always communicated well with her. She could reveal to him all her complaints and problems. Gatot was an extraordinary listener. Any time she needed him, he would always be ready to give her his opinion.

Gatot fully supported Ratih's ambition to be a full-time artist, something that her family strongly opposed.

"I will see to it that you will get a scholarship to continue your studies in an art college," Gatot would always say. "Otherwise, I would support you financially. We will live in Yogya, where the atmosphere is conducive to your art activities and creativity."

But all their dreams and plans were shattered when Gatot died just a week before their wedding day. Ratih could remember how she wept night and day, although Gatot died with a smile after leaving his last message to her: "Don't bury your aspirations. Continue your life and don't weep for me."

Ratih wiped the corners of her eyes. Gatot would always live in her heart although she tried to busy herself with many activities to dispel her loneliness.

"I apologize, it's my mistake," Bayu said, resting his eyes on Ratih's pale and fatigued face.

Ratih smiled slightly. "You have the right to say anything. You have the right to have your own wishes. I'm too much, Yu. I'm just shocked because I have always thought that we were good friends. It has never occurred to me to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Although it is really very likely?" Bayu asked, very carefully. "I'll be waiting patiently."

Ratih laughed.

"Life is full of surprises, Yu. In fact, I have begun to open up my heart for a new beginning. Perhaps now is the most appropriate time."

"Wow, what a relief," Bayu said, taking a deep breath. He looked at Ratih tenderly.

"Don't be pleased just yet," Ratih said, as she suddenly felt like teasing him. "I'm a fussy woman. I'm rude and impatient."

"I know."

"I don't like to be disturbed when I am occupied about something."

"We have known each other for many years."

"I like being busy. When I'm busy, I may not have time to take care of you and then you will regret marrying me."

"Come on, Ratih," Bayu said, making a sign of driving something away with his hand. "Don't try to scare me. Now, will you marry me?"

Ratih gave him a very sweet smile. "You always tell me that you're gonna make me love you. What about you yourself? I have never heard any statement about you."

Bayu took Ratih's hand and whispered in her ear. "I'm gonna make you love me and happy beside me, just the way I have loved you all these years."

Translated by Lie Hua

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