'I wish I could get married next year'

'I wish I could get married next year'

Young and rebellious, Budiman Sudjatmiko, is the founder of
the People's Democratic Party (PRD), a political party
controversially declared during Soeharto's authoritarian
administration. The former student of Yogyakarta-based Gadjah
Mada University, now 30, has paid for his daring dissenting
ideology. He was sentenced to 13 years in jail in 1997 for
subversion and rejected amnesty offered by former president B.J.
Habibie in 1998. He was released last year by President
Abdurrahman Wahid. He talked about his personal life with The
Jakarta Post's Emmy F. Hastuti.

Question: What would you like to change in yourself?

A: I want to less shy. I'm a very shy person. I also want to
relate to people on a more emotional and not rational basis. I
have this ability but I think I need to use it more.

Q: What do you wish in your personal life?

A: I wish I could get married next year. People have been asking
me about it, like, "I hear you are married already" or "When are
you getting married?". It's surely not a plan because a plan
means preparing resources. I'm still at the level of thinking
about getting married.

Q: What type of person would you choose as a soul mate?

A: For sure she has to be mentally healthy. She doesn't need to
cognitively understand my struggles but she has to understand my
spirit and appreciate my efforts in all what I am doing right
now.

Q: Which trait do you most like about yourself?

A: I like my loyalty to what I believe in and my sensitivity and
concern toward my surroundings, these are maybe the two traits
that have helped me a lot in enduring all the things that has
happened to me.

Q: And dislike?

A: If I am in my routine, I sometimes become down. So I have to
recharge myself and get busy with other activities. I often run
to my books to refresh myself or just talk to my girlfriend, that
is surely over a different aspect.

Q: Whom do you admire?

A: My grandfather maybe, and also my childhood playmates.

Q: Do you believe in God?

A: I believe in God, but He who works through people and not
through religious leaders. God has worked through the history of
people, the nature of laws and also the people's restlessness.
God also works as a voice for the mute.

Q: What was the last book you read?

A: Spanish Civil War by Huge Thomas. It is a book about the
people of a nation who got their freedom and independence after a
long period of oppression.

Q: What is your favorite music?

A: I didn't enjoy rock and pop music in my youth. I like
classical music but I also like Eros (Djarot) and Chrisye.

I enjoy listening to keroncong very much and my favorite songs
are Anggrek Bulan (Moon Orchid) and Di Tepinya Sungai Serayu (On
the Serayu river bank). The latter is about a river (in Cilacap,
Central Java) which gives life to farmers and the people. I like
that very much, it always reminds me of my hometown in Cilacap.

I also admire Victor Jara, a Chilean musician, who produced a
lot of folk songs about his people's struggle against the
dictatorship of Pinnochet. His music has inspired the young
revolutionists.

Q: What was the last movie you watched?

A: It has the same theme as the last book I read. The film is
called The Spanish Girl. A very good film on the people who are
in political euphoria, confused people with euphoric norms. There
was also a pair of lovers who wanted to get married but the
priest was found dead. He had committed suicide...but they decide
to marry themselves anyway.

Q: What three things would you take with you to a desert island?

A: My books, cassettes and letters from my girlfriend.

Q: Do you ever think about changing your appearance?

A: Absolutely not. The way I dress is always like this. I don't
need a tie, even for official functions I prefer this look. I
enjoy how I look right now. Except if I am looked for (by
security personnel) then I will let my hair grow and probably
sport a moustache.

Q: What makes your life worth living?

A: I have spent 15 years of my life now struggling for other
people. I have planned, designed and arranged steps to make
changes, not only to my life but also to my surroundings. I
really want to get involved in and not only witness the changes.
Yes, it is my spirit and my struggle that make it worth living.
Some (wishes) have been attained, including to topple Soeharto.
But we still have to push hard for the better.

Q: Which famous person, dead or alive, do you admire?

A: A Filipino activist, Edgar Jopson. An activist in the 1970's,
he was from a well-to-do family, religious and antiviolence. He
was once the chairman of the Philippines People Council. During
Ferdinand Marcos' era, he was chosen as the most outstanding
young man. He believed that a change could be attained peacefully
through gradual steps. His efforts failed though. Being a
political dissident, he was wanted by the regime, so he ran away
with his wife to a mountain. He then organized labor and
struggled as a guerrilla. He was shot near his hideout. He died
as a martyr.

Q: What is your favorite food?

A: Sayur asem and satay Padang

Q: Is there anything you regret about your life?

A: No, my life is a process of understanding circumstances and
situations. In my childhood, I mingled with farmers and children
whose parents worked in factories but later I moved to a bigger
city in Bogor. There I got along with middle class children. I
realized the social gap but I am able to live in both totally
different situations. I wish I can bridge the two different
lives, so my experience will not be wasted as a personal
experience as others can also learn from mine. From the books on
geography, history and politics that I read at that time, I began
to understand this situation was a product of the injustices by
the power holders.

Q: What would you do if you have the power to change things for
others?

A: The first thing I will do is cut ties with the past, meaning
our predecessors who were corrupt and unjust. I'll bring them to
justice. I will also take sides with the victims, all victims of
the past.

Q: What are the qualities of a good friend?

A: Genuine friendship is always followed by sharing common and
mutual concerns. My fellow jailed activists are those among the
category. It is a process, a long one.

Q: How would you like to be remembered?

A: I want to be remembered as a person who was loyal to the end.
As a person who remained on his track to attain his dreams and
wishes. The dreams may not all come true, as some may fail.