I vow to make a promise on the eve of the new year

I vow to make a promise on the eve of the new year

JAKARTA (JP): Let's lift our hands up into the air and shout
as loud as we can, "Happy New Year! Happy New Millennium!!"

Like people say, New Year is the time to change yourself into
a better person. So, for those of you who have made some
improvements this year, continue your shouting with "Yes, I
have!". (long silence)

That's what I thought.

Nobody has done anything or planned anything to change
themselves this year.

So, let me ask you to join me in making some plans to do
anything that can improve yourselves in this new year, starting
with selling your kidney and cornea to pay your Christmas and New
Year's credit card bills.

I am talking about New Year's resolutions. There are only a
few people in Indonesia who make New Year's resolutions, and most
of them are now trying to stop the habit because they have lost
their motivation. "It turns out that I love myself more without
those stupid resolutions. Now I can eat as many pizzas as I can,
with jelly donuts and cheese burgers as toppings", one of them
said.

On the other hand, people who live abroad, like in the U.S.,
are more accustomed to making this kind of commitment. They try
their best to keep those promises for the whole year and they
probably succeed. And like those people, we in Indonesia should
do the same. You might want to ask why we should imitate a habit
from people who live thousands miles from here? The answer is
very simple: because they have Baywatch. On that show, they can
see gorgeous girls and guys whose only job is running in slow
motion on a beach. Watching that show every week, most of the
audience will be inspired to improve themselves every year to
become more and more like movie extras.

They are motivated by that show to do something to make their
lives better, and one of many ways of doing so is by making New
Year's resolutions.

Those people should inspire us to do the same. We should
embrace their spirit. The spirit that makes us want to have
beautiful and defined bodies, to have cool and good-looking
friends, and to have a minor accident -- like breaking a finger
nail -- but still get mouth-to-mouth respiration from Pamela
Anderson. That is why we should make our New Year's promises.

It is not very hard to make your own New Year's resolutions. I
am sure that you have at least one person in your life who is
always telling you to improve your life by doing this or doing
that. Now, instead of just ignoring them and giving them a whack
on the head, we should prepare our ears, open our heart to them
and move to another city that has more fat people.

No, what I mean is that you should listen to them and let them
tell you about their opinions. Give them a chance to let you know
that you have a belly the size of a piano and make a resolution
to overcome that problem, like to buy a bigger size of pants.

Unfortunately, making a resolution is the easy part. The
hardest part is sticking to it for the entire year. Most people
abroad have had success in doing this. This is thanks to the
secret that makes their determination so strong: excuses. That's
how! They make a resolution and think about every excuse possible
to break it. For instance, if someone's resolution is to stop
drinking alcohol, he or she would make a whole range of excuses
to break it, like: "Well, I am graduating today, so it is okay to
give my resolution a little break and make myself a little
whisky", or: "The pizza delivery has arrived. Let's celebrate
that. Give me some beers!"

But later it becomes harder and harder to make an excuse,
because you can only drink to celebrate the coming of Thursday
once a week. Therefore, sometimes it is better to just stick to
the resolution, something so hard to do that you would probably
deny it three minutes after you made it.

But don't worry, that is the most common problem people have
to deal with when they make a New Year's resolution. Therefore, I
will discuss why it is very hard to make and follow a New Year's
resolution:

1. People forget to make a New Year's resolution.

Yes, that usually happens because they are still drunk or hung
over from the New Year's Eve party until March, when people are
no longer interested in making a resolution. Therefore, you
should always make a resolution in January, no matter how drunk
you are. Of course that could cause a guy to make some stupid,
ridiculous, and impossible commitment like, "I will stop watching
porn", but at least he can say to his horny friends that he has a
resolution.

2. People put to much emphasizes on the goal.

Many people give up because they are concentrating on their
goals instead of their efforts. This can give them too much
pressure and make them confused about how to attain that goal.
Therefore, do not make your resolution in the form of a goal like
this: "I will lose 50 pounds this year". Instead, you should make
alternative resolutions that emphasize the efforts, like: "I will
go jogging every morning", "I will not eat 3-weeks-old leftover
pizza", "I will drive pass my gym and wave at the trainer every
time I come home from my office" or "I will start my diet as soon
as I find out how many kilograms 50 pounds is".

3. People face too many challenges.

Many people fail to keep their promises when they are facing a
challenge. Many friends of mine gave up their promises to quit
smoking when they were offered a cigarette. That should not
happen to you. You should believe in yourself. Read a lot of
books about motivation, keep in mind that smoking is bad for your
health, and run your car into your friend who offers you a
cigarette.

There is so much you can achieve by making a New Year's
resolution every year and doing your best to follow it. And I
hope I can keep my resolution for the year 2000, which is "I will
start making a real New Year's resolution next year."

-- E. Effendi