'I hate fanatics -- who are we to judge?'

Bruce Emond, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Tracy Trinita's face, almost feline-like in its beauty, has been her fortune, that's a given. But the 21-year-old model-cum- actress says she realizes that her Eurasian looks will eventually pass their sell-by-date in the fickle world of modeling.

Born of a Brazilian father and an Indonesian mother, Tracy, at 14, represented Indonesia in the Look Model contest, placing seventh and winning a contract to model in New York. She returned to Indonesia in the last couple of years to model and, more recently, pursue a career in acting. She has been in a Charlie's Angels spoof (Mendam Birahi) and is now playing the proverbial ugly duckling who transforms into a swan in the TV comedy series Aku dan Dia.

In snatched phone interviews during breaks from shooting the series, Tracy opened up about coming to terms with a life in the spotlight.

If you had the choice, what would you be doing right now?

I want to visit my family in Brazil. I'm so jealous, they keep e-mailing me and saying that they are on Ipanema beach, and here I am working every day. It's a positive jealousy, though.

Which trait do you most like about yourself?

I get angry but I never keep it for too long. I'm a forgiving person.

And deplore?

I waver, I always change my mind. I say A, and then I like B. I think it's something to do with my sign, Libra.

Whom do you admire?

I admire my maternal grandpa, he was really special, and my grandma from my father's side, she taught me how to be a woman, how to raise kids.

What kind of clothes do you like to wear?

I like classic clothes, like miniskirts, and floral prints. Quite girly and colorful. I like styles from the 1950s and 1960s.

Do you believe in God?

Very much.

But are you religious or spiritual?

I'm a bit of both. I'm trying to be better in my religion. I've known a lot of religions through my life -- I went to Muslim, Catholic and Hindu schools but I'm a Protestant.

What did those experiences teach you about different faiths?

They taught me that God is so kind to people, and that He gives us so many choices in how to praise Him. So, if you are a Muslim, you celebrate him in one way, if you're Protestant, in another way ... But I don't like people who are fanatics, from any religion. Who are we to judge?

What makes you angry?

When people don't think with their brain, they just do without thinking. Or, they're too slow, they have to be told to do something, that drives me nuts. You know, not having any initiative, especially in Indonesia. And when people are lying, and you know they're lying.

If you had to live on a desert island for one year and were only allowed to take three things with you, what would they be?

I'd bring my Bible, and enough food. And things for health, like sunblock. That's too much, isn't it?

What makes you laugh?

When my friends tell a joke, or funny stories. Or, when I get a big job, I laugh because I'm happy.

What is more important in a man, looks or personality?

A bit of both. First time you see them, looks help but in the long run it's personality. But I wish for someone with a strong personality, because looks don't last.

What about Indonesian men?

I think that I'm more attracted to Indonesian men. Even when I was in New York I was not attracted to Western men, sorry! Like my mom said, my dad is so western, blond, blue-eyed and stuff, so I want to find someone different.

And Indonesian men are more family men. Foreign men don't like gathering with the family. My father would always makes excuses so he didn't have to be at big family gatherings. I want my husband to be there with me in the good times and bad times.

What makes you cry?

When I'm so tired of life sometimes, when I can't have control of my life.

If there was something you could change about your appearance, what would it be?

I'm happy with what I have now.

Do you have a favorite movie?

Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. When I was a kid, I watched it all the time. I liked it because she was very beautiful. But my mom didn't know I was watching it!

Do you have a favorite food?

Padang. I also like Indonesian grilled chicken with sambal (chili). I can't eat cheese, or western food, I don't like it.

Do you ever worry about your weight?

I never worry about my weight, but people remind me, "Tracy, you're too fat now" or, "Tracy, you're skinny now." I worry about it for my job, but not for me.

I saw you the other day, in the mall, and people were coming up to you to ask for photos when you were about to buy donuts. Do you ever get tired of that?

Actually, I really enjoy it. It's appreciation for me, for my work. I belong to everybody in public. If I want my privacy, I stay at home ...

But, not many people know that I hate being in crowds, I don't know the word ...

Agoraphobic?

Right. If I'm in a very crowded place, I break out in a cold sweat and panic. So, if I'm walking through a mall, like going to Plaza Senayan, I focus on where I have to go and head straight there. People will tell me later, "Tracy, I saw you and you completely ignored me"!

The assumption is that the modeling world is full of catty, bitchy people -- Truth or fiction?

I haven't had that experience, but then I consider the jobs offered to me. People talk about models being polluted by the world, by things like drugs, but all that comes down to the individual's personality. My parents always taught me to look at the positive things in life, at what I am getting from something. Modeling has given me my own income, the opportunity to travel around the world and meet lots of people. I used to be very shy, but modeling brought me out of my shell.

Do you have any regrets in life?

Well, yes, I haven't finished high school. When my life is more settled, I hope to be able to finish, to get tutoring and then take the exams. And I'd like to go to business school.

Twenty years from now, what do you think you will be doing?

Hopefully, I'll be a mother, with three or four children, and a businesswoman. I'm starting little by little. And I'd like to have an old people's home, with a cemetery behind it. It's all in God's hands, but most of all I want to be a happy woman ...