Hypocrisy normal in sex world?

JAKARTA (JP): To state the obvious, sex has always been a crucial part of human existence. But never has it been expressed, manipulated, distorted, advertised, sold, propagated and disseminated in quite the way it has been in this globalized era.

For us in Indonesia, the sensual, erotic and raunchy people that we essentially are, it is a source of entertainment, titillation, delightful perversion, profit and pleasure. But it is also a source of concern, consternation, anger, moral indignation, violence, and, frighteningly, inspiration for some pretty horrible criminal acts.

No wonder protests and demonstrations abound, mainly from religious groups, to ban activities that sell sex in various forms. The authorities invariably respond in demonstrative symbolic gestures, such as burning the offending articles (VCDs and tabloids, not the sex workers, luckily!), but fundamentally, the situation remains unchanged. Not surprising, since the police/military are often behind the racket anyway.

For the majority of people, the onslaught of information about sex in the last 10 years seems to be more at the level of discourse. There are now more radio talk shows on the subject, sex consultations, articles, sex and gossip tabloids, phone-sex services, sex seminars and discussions, attire which is more consciously designed to show the body and a less inhibited attitude toward a public display of affection.

Indonesians are much less reticent to talk about bodily functions and sex on a day-to-day basis. But how does this translate into a real change in the underlying values of gender and power relations which lie at the heart of sexual relations, not to mention the responsibility that comes with the (apparently) greater sexual freedom?

While there is a loosening up of values that comes with the tightening and shortening of women's dresses, double standards still prevail: what's good for the gander is not good for the goose, as was reported in the cover story in last Sunday's edition of The Jakarta Post.

What is more interesting to talk about is how people deal with the onslaught of sexually loaded material and why. Some become defensive, aggressive, self-protective, while others are opportunistic and hypocritical. The why is related to how people manage life, especially when there is overload or conflict.

Certainly in Indonesia, it's both: overload and conflict. While life always contains contradictions, in our globalized, "postmodern", fragmented world, the contradictions are more extreme due to the fact that people are unable to process a change of values, mentality and way of being, due to the speed by which the change is occurring.

So what do they do? They resort to reductionism and aggressive-defensive behavior. Thus, together with the increased "liberalization" of sex, there exists an equally reactionary, neoconservative movement -- part of a worldwide movement which existed in the 1990s as a reaction against globalization -- that "manages" the conflict of values by reducing the issue to something that can easily be focused on (e.g. permissive sex comes from the West, so it's bad and sinful). It forgets that traditionally and historically, Indonesia has a very erotic culture, which is part of our indigenous spiritualist religion.

Imagine how dangerous this pragmatistic, reductionistic mentality can be when applied to other areas, such as religion, ethnicity or class. No, one does not have to imagine, as it is reality, painfully so in Ambon, Poso and virtually every major island in Indonesia, not to mention discrimination against the ethnic Chinese.

So what's the alternative? There is the modern approach where wisdom is grounded in an intellectual, rational, knowledge-based, open, pluralistic and egalitarian approach.

There is the traditional approach where wisdom is grounded more in intuition and a kind of humanism, whereby contradictions -- an inherent part of life -- are contained through a holistic, yin-yang approach to life, where darkness and light exist together like day and night.

Traditional society, while hierarchical and closed in nature (and having its fair share of oppressive customs for women as well as "small people"), has an unspoken understanding that even if, for example, a woman is sexually unfaithful to her husband, as long as she dutifully maintains her role and functions as a wife and mother, and is discrete about her extracurricular activities, it's fine. Hypocrisy? Certainly, if seen through a modern, rational perspective, but somehow, it manages to contain the total harmony of life and all its contradictions.

We have not reached that level of modern mentality, but we are losing the ancient wisdom of our traditional culture. That is because we have not had our renaissance. How does one create a renaissance? How come Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates or George Soros have not thought of it? It might really have a market.

To close, I would like to give an example of opportunistic and hypocritical behavior. A young married man developed a relationship with a woman via the Internet, which they extended to real reality (as opposed to virtual reality) in the form of a torrid sexual affair.

Unable to contain his excitement, the man boasted about it to a friend, obviously extremely titillated by the fact that the woman was of a different religion. The sinfulness -- and therefore excitement -- of adultery was obviously enhanced by the fact that he was doing it with a woman whom some of his fellows would consider a heathen or infidel. One wonders, could this "religious intercourse" be given a positive, bridging, peace- making interpretation? I doubt that anyone would seriously take the notion of using sex to make peace in Ambon, but certainly a little love, compassion, trust and tolerance, not to mention a huge dose of political will and maturity, would go a long way to start resolving the myriad of problems in our beautiful, but crisis-ridden country.

-- Julia Suryakusuma