Hygiene, important thing for children
Dear Dr. Donya,
I'm turning to you to help me find a solution to a quite common but ticklish problem, particularly in mixed marriages and for couples with different cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds.
The problem is connected with the birth of my daughter about two years ago. As you know, hygiene standards in some villages in Bali are often very low or nonexistent. Conscious of this problem, my wife has accepted and I have encouraged her to read specific publications, and to visit regularly health care centers for babies and children.
However, since our baby was about six months of age she stopped these activities.
While working all day, I cannot help but sometimes make remarks about the hygiene and education principles used or accepted by my wife, especially because I have noticed that behaviors are different if I am or am not at home.
For instance, I recently found my daughter inside the house playing with dirt from the patio (with the clear consent of her mother), which is probably used as a nest for cockroach eggs. My immediate remarks to my wife were made, wrongly, in front of the child. This generated a reaction in both of them, and I have noticed a clear use of this fracture between parents from the child to get her way.
Considering these kinds of things are happening more and more often and are having an increasing effect on my daughter, and considering that these effects could cause, over time, confusion about what is right and wrong, I have begun considering the possibility of leaving to my wife sole responsibility for all things concerned with hygiene and our daughter.
What I am kindly requesting from you is your kind advice about this dilemma, also because I am not sure I can always pretend not to see!
It may be useful to inform you that my daughter has to go to the doctor an average of at least 12 times per year (i.e. every month). During the last five weeks, moreover, we had to take her to the doctor five times.
My worry about hygiene standards should be seen in relation with the above mentioned frequent visits to the doctor, which I do not consider to be normal or good for the overall health of the child.
-- Reader
Dear Reader,
Thank you for the letter and I have to say that it is a very delicate issue, as you said. People from different areas or different cultures are not the same, but I also have to convince them that hygiene is the most important thing for children.
I myself understand your frustration and do agree that your daughter should learn how to take care of herself, or be taught to clean herself up after she plays. Children love to play, especially with things that they can touch, and this also stimulates the development of children. At the same time, children should be taught that they have to wash their hands after playing and before putting food in their mouth.
I suggest you spend time talking to your wife, do not blame or shame her about hygiene issue. What you can do is ask her NOT to allow your daughter to play in dirt, and strictly teaching your daughter to wash her hands every time after playing and before eating.
About your daughter's illnesses, what is wrong with her? It is not good if she has to go see a doctor every month. If you are more specific about what is wrong with your daughter, I may be able to offer a more detailed explanation.
-- Dr. Donya
Dear Dr. Donya,
I am a college student. I recently hit my head on a marble surface and suffered a minor head injury. I think my skull is cracked and the area still hurts when I touch it. Could you please tell me what I should do?
- Al
Dear Al,
By the time you get this answer, you will probably already be better. Head injuries depend on mechanisms. If you think you have a skull fracture, you should go see a doctor to evaluate your neurological and trauma score. I would say that if you just have a little headache, you are normal. Just observe your signs and symptoms, watching out for vomiting and increased and severe headaches. If you have any of these symptoms you should go see your doctor right away. Take care
- Dr. Donya