Hungry

By Teguh Winarsho AS

Under the scorching sun, the man crawled, his face smeared with blood.

People continued to circle round him, holding stones and wooden clubs. They looked at him with dagger-sharp eyes. A little to the back, some women shuddered at the sight, huddling close together. Pale faces.

"Kill him! Burn him! Finish him off" A din of voices was heard clearly, louder than the roaring sound of vehicles trapped in a traffic jam. The crowd of people surrounding the man swelled. The clamor of voices sounded like a war cry.

There were no police, soldiers or civilian guards to intervene. There were only fierce demons wearing human faces.

"I am hungry ... My wife is going to have a baby ..." The man's voice was a whimper amid the scolding and condemnation. The wooden clubs and stones were at the ready.

"What's a can of milk for a man like you?"

"I am poor ... "

The man kept on babbling while crawling on the road. Drops of blood oozed from his face, smearing the pavement red like an abstract painting.

But the people were out of their minds with anger. They beat the man again. They didn't want to listen to his words. The rocks and clubs took their turns.

"You thief, you deserve to die!"

The beating continued. Nobody wanted to stop the brutality. Everyone was enraged, as if possessed. Then a police car arrived, its siren roaring. The crowd was frightened and ran helter- skelter to disappear into the anonymity of the surrounding alleys. The man was left alone, lying on the road, his entire body caked with blood.

It was difficult to determine whether he was still alive. Two police officers carried the man into the car and quickly sped off. The people came out one by one from the alleys, grumbling that their captive had escaped his just desserts.

In the police station, the beaten man sat before a police officer who interrogated him. The man's face was still bruised, but his wounds had been cleaned and treated.

The man looked gaunt. His eyes were hollow and red. His breath sounded heavy as if he suffered from chronic asthma. He covered his mouth with his hand several times, apparently making an effort to hold back a cough. Instead, his body shook and he groaned in pain. Some of his upper teeth were missing.

A police officer and a middle-aged woman entered the room. The loud noise their shoes made caught the man by surprise. He adjusted himself in his chair.

The police officer sat down before the man after he politely invited the woman to take a seat beside him. Yet, the strong hard lines of the police officer's face and his sharp-looking eyes revealed that he was quick-tempered. The man bowed his head further. He was afraid to look at the police officer in front of him.

"Is this the man?" the woman said, half whispering.

The police officer next to her nodded his head. "But he seems to be a newcomer. We have no criminal record for him."

It was now the turn of the woman to nod her head. Her eyes gazed at the man.

"Hmmmm, he only stole a can of milk .... "

"At first, perhaps, he took only a can of milk. Yet, gradually, he'll steal all the items in the store!"

"Yeah, probably ... "

"And then ... won't you change your mind, ma'am?"

The woman fell into a long silence. Her forehead was knitted. Her gaze was firm on the man before her.

"Yes, I'll be the guarantee for him."

It was now the police officer's turn to fall silent for quite a while. His face looked tense. He took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled.

"Perhaps, that's the best for you. All right then ... "

The woman took the man home in her luxury sedan. The man had never ridden in such a car before. On the way home, the man expressed his gratitude to her. He felt as if his life had been saved by the woman. He would have been in jail for a while if there had been no guarantee from the woman. The man regretted ever having stolen something from the woman's shop.

"I really feel ashamed... ," the man said slowly.

"Everyone makes mistakes, at least once. Now, it depends on ourselves whether we want to correct them or not. I used to be poor, very poor, and had virtually nothing. Yet, I always did my best to deal with all my difficulties. It indeed takes a long time. A process."

"I don't know how to repay your kindness, ma'am ... "

The woman didn't immediately reply. She only smiled.

"I don't expect anything from you. I will be happy enough if you can get a decent job, make a living in an honorable way. Stealing is forbidden not only by our country, but also by our religion. I think you already know that. Cheer up, you'll have a baby soon. Sometimes a child brings fortune to his parents. What's your name?"

"Narso."

"All right, Narso, don't you ever repeat your crime. You're still young. You still have much to hope for in the future."

Narso nodded his head. He felt happiness permeate his heart as he would soon see his wife, who, perhaps, had already delivered their baby. The man imagined that his baby would continue to cry, waiting for his father. Yes, his chubby baby would surely keep crying, kicking its two cute feet. Ah, a healthy baby must cry loudly.

Suddenly something occurred to him. So strong was this realization that his bright face turned pale when he searched the pockets of his pants. He had no money at all.

Narso was overwhelmed with anxiety. His heart felt hurt as if it had been stabbed. He would go home empty-handed! Yes, there was nothing he could give to his wife and their baby, except his body full of wounds.

He still had to pay the midwife in the village for delivering the baby. He also had to buy some diapers and milk. A bright morning suddenly turned dark in Narso's eyes. The shadow of his wife and a baby lying hungry on a bed danced in his mind. The image of a midwife collecting her payment also flashed through his mind.

All these things could only be settled with money. With money, period.

The world was turning dark for Narso as if a thick fog had covered his vision. Something continued to beat in his heart. He found it difficult to breathe. His heart beat faster. Several times he looked eagerly at the jewelry worn by the woman next to him. The gold jewelry sparkled, dazzling his eyes.

Narso often saw such jewelry, and he even used to dream of purchasing it for his wife, but he had never clasped it in his hand. His wife would be even more beautiful wearing this jewelry, and she would love him more. His wife would look fresh and young.

But what was the use of such jewelry if his wife was hungry, if there were no diapers for his baby, if the midwife's payment was unsettled?

Narso began to lose control. Along a deserted section of the road, he slowly took a metal bar from under his seat. At first he shivered when his hands touched the cold metal. Yet he held the bar firmly as he closed his eyes. As quick as lightning, he struck the woman in the head. Blood spurted from the gash in her head, covering the windshield.

The car briefly careened out of control but Narso quickly grabbed the wheel. It took all his effort to push the woman's body aside. The windshield was splashed with blood, but he used some tissues to wipe it clean.

"Is it still far?" the woman suddenly murmured, surprising him.

"No. We'll arrive soon," Narso answered hurriedly. His dream was shattered.

"Listen to my advice, Narso. Be a good man. Don't steal anymore. Oh, yes, I have a little money. Take it."

The woman gave an envelope to Narso. This time his hands truly quivered when he grasped the envelope.

Narso wasn't sure that the house he saw belonged to him. But he couldn't have lost his way. Hundreds of people gathered around it. There was a burning smell. Pieces of wood were scattered on the muddy road.

Narso walked through the crowd. He was impatient to see his wife and baby. When the people saw him, they could only look at one another. They remained quiet and stepped aside.

Narso stood still in front of his house. The expression on his face was difficult to describe. Suddenly, he collapsed.

People ran to help him.

"Call an ambulance. Hurry!!"

"Step aside! Step aside! Give way!"

As some people helped him, others talked among themselves.

"Poor Narso, he did not have the chance to see his baby."

"He must have realized his wife and baby burned to death."

"What a plump and beautiful baby boy he was!"

"And his wife was so pretty."

The voices continued to roar like a swarm of bees buzzing away.

Depok, 2002

Translated by Ismiarti