Has Mike Tyson met his Waterloo?

JAKARTA (JP): The recent Tyson-Holyfield bout was expected to be full of nail-biting suspense. Instead, it collapsed in ear biting, a piercing scream and bedlam. Its outcome was a life-term boxing ban on Tyson.

The haunting jingle of "Tyson finished" rings around the world. Pak Karim, goaded by Ahmad, who is rabidly anti-Tyson, hosted a party to celebrate Tyson's downfall.

Karim invited Pak Sulaiman, a fanatical admirer of Tyson, on purpose. "A Tyson proxy in our midst will help to generate fun and ridicule without any let-up," he said to all and sundry.

Nobody really expected Sulaiman to show up. The consensus was that Tyson's lobby was also decimated, literally as dead as dodo. Needless to say, Karim was really surprised when Sulaiman showed up. He didn't wait to make his first dig -- "With Tyson in the doghouse, I thought your tribe would avoid parties."

Sulaiman ignored the remark. His eyes were searching for Ahmad, his bete noire. "Ahmad will be arriving any moment," Karim volunteered gleefully.

Boxing is a duel of fists, not heads, right? Remember, Tyson's act of bitting was sanctified by an illustration showing the precedent of bombing. Yet for his selfless and audacious pioneering act he gets banned.

"Tyson is a criminal. Jack the Ripper, he is. He should be locked up, not banned from boxing."

"Oh! really!" said Sulaiman sarcastically. "I say, Tyson is not Jack the Ripper of Briton. He is Napoleon of France." This landed as thunderbolt. Ahmad was furious. He could only drum up, "It is grotesque to equate Tyson with Napoleon."

"Why not?" came the rejoinder." Now, listen to a litany of similarities between them." "Everyone thought that a curse on France brought Napoleon, the Corsican ogre, into France.

Similarly, everyone thinks that it is the curse of boxing that has brought Tyson, the Catskill ogre; into boxing. Napoleon was dethroned and sent to Elba. He got out, staged a comeback, and a fearful Europe united against him.

Tyson was sent to prison, got out, staged a comeback and a fearful heavy weight division has united against him. Napoleon sighed "Able was I ere I saw Elba"; Tyson has reasons to sigh! 'Able was I ere. Desiree Washington sent me to prison."

"Are you finished?" This was Ahmad. "This very comparison dooms Tyson. Napoleon met his Waterloo and Tyson his, with the boxing ban." There was a buzz as if Ahmad had made a killing point.

No doubt it is hard to refute that Tyson has met his Waterloo. But Tyson's following is fanatical and Tyson is Sulaiman's hero. He would not give up. "A boxing ban is no Waterloo for Tyson" he said with conviction. Now the gathering was mystified.

Even Pak Arman, who came to steal the limelight, asked reverentially, "How, Pak Sulaiman?" "That is what the crystal- gazer says: Tyson is no gone-to-seed, paunchy Napoleon, he is trim and raunchy.

Second, it was not Waterloo, but the island prison, Saint Helena, which finished Napoleon. Nobody sees a Helena for Tyson. On the contrary, he is the hailed head of a multi million dollar juggernaut.

This immense dollar power will bring him back into the fold of boxing; ban head butts; induct him into the Boxing Hall of Fame; and pamper him all the way.

Feeling utterly out of his depth, Ahmad freaked out. "What's going on?" Sulaiman knew that he had turned the tables. It was now his turn to admonish. "Stop flying against facts of life. Ahmad, and don't be a bore. Accept gracefully that Tyson will capture his crown back and get rated higher than Napoleon."

When the joust ended, even Karim, the Tyson-inimical host, was soft on Tyson. His vote of thanks was a gem. Indeed it was a generous toast. To triple-star Tyson, the Champion, the Reformer, the Saint, who stooped to cleanse boxing.

-- G.S. Edwin