Handicapped beggar says no reason good enough to stop living

By Yogita Tahil Ramani

JAKARTA (JP): Some people believe that ignorance is a bliss. A staunch believer of this is Asep, a 35-year-old handicapped beggar.

If you meet him, he might tell you that he is like any other ordinary handicapped beggar. But he is not.

"I was born this way. I used to have questions in my head about it, like what had my parents done in their lives that I turned out this way," Asep told The Jakarta Post on Thursday, a few meters from the Central Jakarta District Court on Jl. Gadjah Mada.

Yet, he never felt discriminated against, nor had a "great need" to find out about his handicap since everybody he knew and liked never looked at him and treated him like a disabled person.

"I am Sundanese and am not ashamed of speaking my mind. Despite being so poor, my parents cared and loved me so much. I'd rather not know about how I got this way, and remain happy instead.

"Asking about my physical status does not seem right. I see doctors only when I have colds," he said.

The shock encountered by anyone passing through the Central Jakarta District Court and being confronted with Asep does not only lie in the fact that he is physically comprised of only a torso, two forearms, and one lower arm with three fingers.

It also lies in the things he says, when one takes the time to speak with him.

Asep said that he is about 35 years old and has married twice. He is a father of two young boys, Agus, 10, and Ujang, 3.

"I was born on Jl. Dago in Bandung, West Java. I had a very happy childhood, and my parents taught me that working to keep oneself busy is important," he said.

Asep said that in Bandung, where his wife and two kids currently stay, he used to have a grocery stall where he sold fruits and vegetables.

But, the prolonged economic crisis since mid-1997 had forced him to temporarily quit his business.

"The grocery business did not work out very well. So I collected some money and came here," he said.

Upon his arrival in the capital one and a half years ago, however, he found the reality that Jakartans are more apathetic to human life than people who come from other regions in the country.

He said that despite his bad run of luck and the fact that he did not like begging, he got up daily at 6 a.m. and left his small makeshift hut behind the district court to "walk himself" to the court and beg until 4 p.m.

"Then I move to the area outside the nearby Gadjah Mada Plaza, where there are several shoppers who may take pity on me and hand me money."

Having such a strong drive to survive his hard life in the capital, Asep is striving to collect money, which hopefully will be enough, not only to pay for his trip home to Bandung, but also to start his grocery and fruit stall again.

"I cannot stand people who give up hope. I understand that Indonesia is not at its best right now, but that does not mean that one should stop living.

"And suicide ... that's not an option. That's a sin," he said.

A parking attendant, Gustam, said soft drink vendors, parking attendants and cigarette vendors in the Gadjah Mada area were very fond of Asep.

"He's our friend and such a kind man. He's nice to have a discussion with.

"By talking to him, one can never feel sad," Gustam said.

Being handicapped, however, did not make Asep ignore his life.

"If guys with legs can get girls, so can I. My children are living proof of that. If you have the will, girls will come to you. That's never a problem."

"Yes, there are girls who have broken my heart. But that's okay. The important thing is that one must keep on living."