Gulf War offers chance to win `togel' lottery

Several days before the war broke out on Thursday, I was busy briefing people in my neighborhood about the latest situation in the Middle East. I figured they had come to me because I was the most authoritative person in the neighborhood with regard to the Iraq issue.

I was very proud -- according to my daughter, I am always boastful of everything that comes out of my mouth -- to be able to show off my intellectual capacity to the security guards and craftsmen in my residential complex. They came to my house to ask me questions about the future of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and when precisely U.S. President George W. Bush would attack Iraq.

You may wonder, why do only the working class come to see me. Oh, come on! Even though you are better educated, they have a higher level of curiosity and want to know about the entire situation in Iraq. That was why they came to me and not to you.

Their questions were very detailed, especially when related to numbers. For instance, they asked how many days the war would last and what were Bush and Saddam's ages. They often took notes when I mentioned numbers.

I spoke dynamically and therefore became upset when they showed no interest in my lengthy explanation about the geopolitical aspects of the Middle East. I was confused when they asked me if I had ever dreamed about Saddam. I was angry when one of them told me that my explanation was very close to being accurate but then they politely urged me to be more precise when dealing with the figures.

"I am a political analyst, not a fortune teller, you know!"

They laughed when I said fortune teller.

I became enraged when one of my neighbors smiled when they saw me talking to my fans. My conclusion: The neighbor was just jealous because he could not match my expertise on the issue.

However, I was humiliated on Thursday evening when one of my supposed fans told me -- in a Javanese way -- that my prediction about Saddam and Bush was haphazard and erroneous. Oh my, Saddam! They were actually using me as a dukun buntut (fortune teller for a lottery).

They are crazy about togel, (the illegal lottery) which can be played anywhere. And that was the reason why they were so interested about numbers.

In this game, players can choose up to four numbers. There are two kinds of togel: one that is played daily, and the rest which are played three times a week. For better details, just talk to the police. They benefit from it very well although in public they call togel the enemy of the state.

"We have never won anything from the numbers you have given us," a disappointed security guard told me.

"If they had asked me before talking to you they would not have lost their money," my daughter replied bluntly when I told her that a lot of people that were not impressed with her father.

For them, the war means another opportunity to win the lottery, which they believe is the only way out of poverty.

This is not a new thing for me. My father died just three days before Bush's father, former U.S. president George Bush, Sr., declared war on Iraq to end its invasion of Kuwait on Jan. 15, 1991. (At that time, the United Nations Security Council had voted unanimously for war). When my father went into the hospital a week before his death, his children accompanied him. Saddam was also a big topic at the hospital.

Some of his friends unashamedly asked him to say something about Saddam because they wanted to buy a lottery ticket (in 1991 it was still legal). His friends opened a kind of logbook after my father spoke. For instance, when my father said Saddam was a lion, they determined that the next winning number would be 1234.

When my father passed away on Jan. 12, his friends asked me what was the precise time he died. Without even a thank you, they rushed out with the numbers to buy lottery tickets.

Have I bored you enough? Before your throw away this newspaper, I want to ask you a favor. Please tell your drivers or security guards exactly when Bush will declare victory against Iraq. Give them a chance to be a winner from this war. I also need some numbers. Who knows, maybe I can also get something out of the war?

In the end, though, I hope the war will be over soon. Why should we victimize Iraq as a nation when Bush only has a score to settle with Saddam? I think for Bush, Saddam has become family business. He feels obliged to finish his father's mission of ousting Saddam from his seat.

--Kornelius Purba