Grief haunts parents of Black Friday victim

By Ivy Susanti

JAKARTA (JP): Every day is grim for Sumarsih. Tears etch out her grief as she tries to accomplish the simplest of tasks.

"Every day, from the early hours until dusk, I cry endlessly. My eyes are filling up with tears when I wash my face, comb my hair," she admitted.

Forty-seven days have passed since the Black Friday tragedy, and burials were conducted only days after the deaths of 10 people, including eight students, who were shot in the Nov. 13 clash between troops and protesters in the southern section of the Semanggi cloverleaf.

Emotional closure does not come so easily for their relatives.

Prayers and tears have failed to bury the memories of their beloved.

The nightmare of bereavement continues for Sumarsih and her husband Arief Priyadi, parents of Bernardus Realino Norma Irmawan alias Wawan, one of the those who died.

Raging deep in their hearts is the endless struggle to comprehend that their only son will never set foot in their home again. They also have a daughter, Irna.

Wawan of Atma Jaya University was one of three students who died instantly after the initial clash occurred in front of his campus compound near the cloverleaf, shortly before 4 p.m.

Witnesses said he was shot in the chest while helping a friend badly beaten by soldiers during the clash.

"I'm still grieving over his death," said Sumarsih, who works at Golkar secretary's office at the House of Representatives.

With her husband, she attended the tarawih (Ramadhan evening prayer) and procession inside the Atma Jaya campus on Saturday to commemorate the 43rd day since the tragedy.

She said she wanted to stop sobbing but could not hold in her sadness.

"My eyes, for example, kept on crying when we attended Christmas mass at the church."

She shuns newspapers and television in her effort to stifle her grief.

She took a three-month compassionate leave from her office three days after Wawan's death.

Arief, an employee of the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), is allowed to take time off whenever he chooses.

"I go to the office only when I want to end my doldrums at home," he explained.

First thought

Sumarsih said she never imagined troops would open fire on antigovernment protesters, particularly after the deaths of four students near the Trisakti University campus in May.

"I thought he must have bee shot in one of his legs with a rubber bullet, as stipulated in the riot procedure. It would not be that lethal. I thought the security officers would not repeat the May Trisakti incident."

Although the family recognized Wawan's involvement in antigovernment rallies, Sumarsih and Arief remained vigilant in case he was involved in a dangerous situation.

"In May, he also joined the student movement but he did not go onto the street. He was only involved as a volunteer in the command post," Sumarsih said.

"I told him repeatedly not to join the rally, because the situation was not safe. The security officers had been on the alert and civilian guards (Pamswakarsa) members were also deployed ahead of the (the mid November) Special Session of the People's Consultative Assembly."

Spirit of nature

Arief said he could not curb his son's outgoing nature and concern for others.

"He had a social spirit. He always helped the injured when nobody took the initiative to help. As a student, he had his own analytical ability."

Others' sympathy and tokens of monetary support have failed to heal their despair.

Earlier this month, the couple refused to accept compensation of Rp 5 million, provided by the Ministry of Social Services to kin of the Semanggi dead.

They countered bitterly that the ministry should instead donate the money to the soldier responsible for shooting Wawan.

If he could not be traced, they said, the amount should be earmarked for security officers on duty at the cloverleaf on the fateful day.

In a letter sent to several local media here, the family said it returned the money on the same day of the offer to the visiting officers of Jakarta office of the Indonesian Red Cross.

Despite the professed will of the government to investigate the incident, the parents are unsure of how to ensure justice is done for their son.

"The future is still dark and gloomy," Sumarsih said. "We are small people. We have learned that any cases involving small people like us never end satisfactorily. If we want to sue, would it end successfully?"