Grief haunts parents of Black Friday victim

Grief haunts parents of Black Friday victim

By Ivy Susanti

JAKARTA (JP): Every day is grim for Sumarsih. Tears etch out
her grief as she tries to accomplish the simplest of tasks.

"Every day, from the early hours until dusk, I cry endlessly.
My eyes are filling up with tears when I wash my face, comb my
hair," she admitted.

Forty-seven days have passed since the Black Friday tragedy,
and burials were conducted only days after the deaths of 10
people, including eight students, who were shot in the Nov. 13
clash between troops and protesters in the southern section of
the Semanggi cloverleaf.

Emotional closure does not come so easily for their relatives.

Prayers and tears have failed to bury the memories of their
beloved.

The nightmare of bereavement continues for Sumarsih and her
husband Arief Priyadi, parents of Bernardus Realino Norma Irmawan
alias Wawan, one of the those who died.

Raging deep in their hearts is the endless struggle to
comprehend that their only son will never set foot in their home
again. They also have a daughter, Irna.

Wawan of Atma Jaya University was one of three students who
died instantly after the initial clash occurred in front of his
campus compound near the cloverleaf, shortly before 4 p.m.

Witnesses said he was shot in the chest while helping a friend
badly beaten by soldiers during the clash.

"I'm still grieving over his death," said Sumarsih, who works
at Golkar secretary's office at the House of Representatives.

With her husband, she attended the tarawih (Ramadhan evening
prayer) and procession inside the Atma Jaya campus on Saturday to
commemorate the 43rd day since the tragedy.

She said she wanted to stop sobbing but could not hold in her
sadness.

"My eyes, for example, kept on crying when we attended
Christmas mass at the church."

She shuns newspapers and television in her effort to stifle
her grief.

She took a three-month compassionate leave from her office
three days after Wawan's death.

Arief, an employee of the Center for Strategic and
International Studies (CSIS), is allowed to take time off
whenever he chooses.

"I go to the office only when I want to end my doldrums at
home," he explained.

First thought

Sumarsih said she never imagined troops would open fire on
antigovernment protesters, particularly after the deaths of four
students near the Trisakti University campus in May.

"I thought he must have bee shot in one of his legs with a
rubber bullet, as stipulated in the riot procedure. It would not
be that lethal. I thought the security officers would not repeat
the May Trisakti incident."

Although the family recognized Wawan's involvement in
antigovernment rallies, Sumarsih and Arief remained vigilant in
case he was involved in a dangerous situation.

"In May, he also joined the student movement but he did not go
onto the street. He was only involved as a volunteer in the
command post," Sumarsih said.

"I told him repeatedly not to join the rally, because the
situation was not safe. The security officers had been on the
alert and civilian guards (Pamswakarsa) members were also
deployed ahead of the (the mid November) Special Session of the
People's Consultative Assembly."

Spirit of nature

Arief said he could not curb his son's outgoing nature and
concern for others.

"He had a social spirit. He always helped the injured when
nobody took the initiative to help. As a student, he had his own
analytical ability."

Others' sympathy and tokens of monetary support have failed to
heal their despair.

Earlier this month, the couple refused to accept compensation
of Rp 5 million, provided by the Ministry of Social Services to
kin of the Semanggi dead.

They countered bitterly that the ministry should instead
donate the money to the soldier responsible for shooting Wawan.

If he could not be traced, they said, the amount should be
earmarked for security officers on duty at the cloverleaf on the
fateful day.

In a letter sent to several local media here, the family said
it returned the money on the same day of the offer to the
visiting officers of Jakarta office of the Indonesian Red Cross.

Despite the professed will of the government to investigate
the incident, the parents are unsure of how to ensure justice is
done for their son.

"The future is still dark and gloomy," Sumarsih said. "We are
small people. We have learned that any cases involving small
people like us never end satisfactorily. If we want to sue, would
it end successfully?"