Good day Mom, Dad, ...

Good day Mom, Dad, ...

JAKARTA (JP): Or uncle or auntie... even little brother (or
sister). Not, however, gramps or granny.

Now what is this all about? Forms of address, that's what.

When you took your first hesitant steps on the rocky road
towards mastering Indonesian, your teacher probably told you that
when addressing a male in Indonesia you use the word bapak. And
if talking to a woman, you use ibu. They mean, as your teacher
told you, Mr. and Mrs. No sweat. You swallow that.

Come the next lesson you learn that bapak means father and ibu
means mother. What is this? What happened to Mr., Mrs., Miss and
Ms.? Again your teacher explains -- Mrs. (or Miss or Ms): ibu.
Mr.: bapak.

"But they mean mom and dad."

"Yes. We Indonesians are one big, happy family."

Actually, there was a time, not all that long ago either, that
there were such words as tuan (Mr.), nyonya (Mrs.) and nona
(Miss). But they smacked too much of colonialist class
distinction, elitism. The "me up here" against the "you down
there." You would, for instance, say tuan Karel Knoopsgat and
nyonya or nona Griet Grotebek -- the use of first names was
optional. However, don't think it was only the Dutch who had
those handles in front of their names. There were enough
Indonesians who insisted on being called tuan, nyonya, and nona.

Anyway, colonialism ended, and tuan, nyonya and nona were
swept out. Or were they?

First let's have a look at the search for the proper form of
address in the new society of liberty, equality and fraternity.
The euphoria of new-found independence was still aflame, and in
the midst of it came the word bung (brother). The first president
was referred to as such, so were the becak (pedicab) drivers and
the sate vendors, etc. There was no equivalent for women,
however. The first president's wife was always referred to as
ibu, and, as some of my Indonesian female acquaintances said, the
expression bung was extremely sexist. Maybe that's why you don't
hear it anymore. Non-sexist, and also hailing from approximately
the same period, was saudara (brother) and saudari (sister). But
these two also seem to have diminished in daily usage.

Well, what do you hear today? Bapak and ibu, of course. With
bapak there's no problem. Every adult male is bapak. It looks,
however, as if nyonya and nona are sneaking back in for women. In
print, as well as in the electronic media, the first lady is
sometimes referred to as nyonya; while nona has also made a bit
of a comeback. Generally, however, they appear to be used more
for foreign residents. So Mrs./Miss Ofelia Da Cruz from Brazil
may well be called nyonya/nona Ofelia, but Mrs/Miss Ofelia Da
Cruz from Indonesia would usually be ibu Ofelia. And don't think
there are no Da Cruz's in Indonesia. Go look around in East
Timor.

Bapak, ibu, nyonya, nona.... You could call them formal forms
of address. The first two definitely are. What about informal
forms? Aha. That's where the rest of the family comes in; like om
and tante. Both are derived from Dutch oom (uncle) and tante
(aunt). Sure, in some areas like North Sulawesi and perhaps Ambon
those two words are very much in use, but there you're dealing
with local dialects. I've been called om (also pronounced um or
oom) in Jakarta, Surabaya, Yogya and Bali.

By the way, did you notice the absence of last names? Right.
In Indonesia you don't use last names, unless you have to write
them on an envelope. So Aristophanes Papazafiropoulos is bapak or
pak Aristophanes, not bapak Papazafiropoulos, and you refer to
Signora Veronica Vermicelli as ibu or bu Veronica.

--Jak Jaunt