Going all out for the best wedding
Getting married is one of the most important and exciting moments in anyone's life. Many parents, particularly wealthy ones, start preparing for their children's weddings immediately after they are born. Everyone wants the best, since it is also an occasion to flaunt wealth and social importance. Therefore arranging weddings has become a lucrative business. The following story and several others on Pages 6 and 7 take a look at getting married in Jakarta.
By Johannes Simbolon
JAKARTA (JP): Lawrence-Chia, a Singaporean of Chinese origin, will marry a Vietnamese girl this month at the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. The bride is going to wear a Vietnamese traditional gown, while the groom, finding no traditional costume in the city-state, has decided to wear a Javanese outfit.
Under the guidance of a Jakarta-based traditional wedding consultant, Tien Santoso, he has practiced wearing it, and even videotaped himself in the costume. According to the itinerary, the guests will be entertained with the videotape at the hotel while waiting for him to don in the attire.
"I'll make the best costume for him," Tien told The Jakarta Post.
Indeed, a wedding deserves the best. It is the moment when two people make the most important commitment of their lives, when they pledge to be united forever and meet life's pains and joys together. Nobody is willing, especially at the happiest moment in their lives, to anticipate a troubled marital life marked by painful quarrels, unfaithfulness or even divorce. All they can see is a bright future, a lifetime of unity.
"Regardless of what will happen in the marital life, we, Eastern people, still consider matrimony as a very important, sacred event, which takes place once in a lifetime. That is why we are ready to spend all we have to make the best party," said Edi Gustomi, an alumnus of the Prasetya Mulya management school.
The best party of course differs for the rich and poor. A low- income family can stage a modest party, which is still the best for them, for a minute fraction of what Jakarta's rich squander in a pub in one night. The well-to-do, meanwhile, can afford hundreds of millions of rupiah for a wedding extravaganza.
Mien R. Uno, the director of John Roberts Power School, spent eight months preparing her son's marriage in 1993. She hired a top local band, a top master of ceremonies, a top designer and presented her guests with expensive mementos, including gold- plated placards for the most important guests.
Tycoon Sudwikatmono hired 300 people to organize his daughter's wedding the same year. President Soeharto's children served as co-hosts and hostesses.
Indonesian top model Ratih Sanggarwati and businessman Budi Septa Zen entertained the residents of Ngawi, Ratih's hometown in East Java, with a four-day cultural show when they got married in July this year.
Such extravagant weddings need both money, time, creativity and professionalism to prepare. This is where wedding consultants come in.
Many consultants specialize in international or western-style weddings for a decidedly Chinese clientele. Others concentrate on traditional weddings for indigenous Indonesians.
Edi, who once researched wedding consultant firms, said they began in Jakarta in the 1970s and started to flourish in the 1980s. The industry has flourished because rich Jakartans don't have the time or inclination to prepare for the parties. Many people no are longer familiar with the traditions they want to exploit and therefore require the guidance of experts.
"This business will never wane," asserts Edi.
There are now hundreds of wedding consultant and related firms like wedding invitation printers as well as companies that provide emcees and wedding decorations.
"Almost all beauty salons offer wedding consultations," said Tina, who works at Salome beauty salon, Indonesia's oldest wedding consultant firm.
Most wedding consultants specialize in international weddings because traditional weddings are far more difficult to handle due to their complexity and variety.
Tien Santoso, owner of PT Sanggar Busana Indonesia, a traditional wedding consultant firm, said it took over ten years before she had the skill to handle almost all traditional weddings.
She explained that each ethnic group in Indonesia had raja adat (respected experts in tradition) to ensure weddings followed local mores. In rural areas, they are always presented with goods, like clothes, after the wedding in return for their services. Jakartans now tend to treat them like professional consultants and give them money instead of goods.
"Traditional wedding consultants will keep developing. Our urban people may be very western-minded, but they always return to their own culture for a wedding," said Tien, who is also a senior lecturer at the Make-Up section of the Jakarta Teachers Training Institute (IKIP Jakarta).
Up-market consultant firms charge from hundreds of millions to one billion rupiah for a wedding package, which includes a grand reception in a well-known reception hall.
"We have between 30 and 50 clients a month during the wedding season between September and February," said Aie, who works at Johnny Andrean Bridal, a consultant firm that specializes in international weddings.
People with limited budgets can choose from a multitude of less expensive firms. Salome, for instance, has packages for less than Rp 7 million, including a Baby Benz for the bride and groom and a modest reception at a restaurant.
"We handle around 30 clients a month at the height of the season," said Tina.
A Rp 1 million package called kawin tamasya (vacation wedding) is offered at most firms. They provide a rented wedding dress, a photographer and a small wedding party for the couple. After posing for pictures, the couple go to the civil registry office and then have a party with relatives. The newlyweds then use the rest of their allocated budget for their honeymoon.
The cheap and practical wedding is dismissed by people like Tien as going against the Asian culture.
To Eastern people, she said, weddings concern not only the married couple but also their family, relatives and neighbors.
"Weddings are a social event. We always ask for blessings from our family and stage a party, however modest it is, so that our neighbors can take part in it and may also wish us good luck. Those who prefer a vacation wedding are selfish, people with no respect to their community," said Tien.
Marriage is still the highest commitment in the life for most Asians, that's why it is still celebrated so grandly. The essence of any wedding is the expression of hope that the marriage may endure. Unfortunately, neither splendor nor modesty really guarantee survival.