Getting rid of the pack mentality to travel solo

Lia Lenggogeni, Contributor, Jakarta

Traveling to a foreign place can be a daunting experience in itself. So would you embark upon it alone? Yes, alone. As in by yourself, no companion at all, just-the-way-you-were-born-into- this-world alone?

The Indonesian single traveler is still a rare breed. Indonesians, and probably most Asians, travel in packs. Even to bathrooms! Traveling alone (especially for women) is seen as sad and desperate, a cardinal sin, reserved for those social pariahs who talk to their cats.

A fellow Korean traveler once gave me a concerned look as she pointed out, "Oh you poor girl. I would never do it." She was traveling with her boyfriend. But of course.

As many Indonesians are starting to discover, traveling by oneself has its advantages. Sure, it can be overwhelming, exhausting and unnerving. But it can also be a wildly exciting and mind-blowing experience.

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes the sight of a familiar face in an unfamiliar place can be the best sight of the day. When tired, out of money and luck, a travel companion is manna from heaven. A good travel companion is also good for a laugh.

My friend and I had the time of our lives in Central Java, staying with locals who barely spoke Bahasa Indonesia. I love to travel with a companion or two. But then I love to travel, period, with or without a companion.

Traveling alone exposes you to experiences you would otherwise miss. Don't worry, you won't die out of boredom and loneliness. In fact, contact with locals and fellow tourists are naturally minimized when you travel in a group. A vacation is an experience, not just about gorgeous landscapes, magical cultural shows and magnificent buildings (or world class shopping, for some people).

To state the obvious, local people are key in shaping your opinion of the place and new friends make the whole experience much better (a plus point is that these new friends would usually invite you to stay over at their place if you happen to drop by in your future travels).

While it's true that single travelers are more prone to unwanted attention from suspicious characters, a good number of (nice) people find groups imposing. People would less likely to strike up a conversation with you if you're in a group. On the other hand, if you travel by yourself, people would see to it that you're looked after.

I lost track of how many strangers who took me under their wing precisely because I was a single traveler. A kindly woman treated me to lunch and helped get my passport back when I lost it in a ditch somewhere. I approached a couple as they stepped out of a posh restaurant to ask for directions to the nearest bus stop, and they ended up driving me back to my hostel in their spanking new BMW because it was already way past midnight and I was by myself.

They admitted that if I were in a group, the most they would do was to point out the most convenient place to hail a cab. Please bear in mind that taking rides from strangers is dangerous. In some places less so, but still use your common sense.

Gaining new friends is not reserved for single travelers, but I find that I less likely to do so when I travel with a companion. You'd be amazed at the amount of friends you acquire, and the speed of it, just by sitting down at the common room -- or even by your bed! -- of your friendly hostel. In mere hours, you'll be swapping travel stories with fellow travelers and e- mail addresses.

This is quite convenient, as you will still be able to have somebody to talk to who knows what you're going through, yet you can also choose peace and quiet should you prefer so. Not so easy with a friend from home.

Traveling alone also means not having to compromise your itinerary. You get to go to places you want to see. You get to do things you want to do. You can stay longer in one place if you choose to. As people who frequently travel with companions can attest, sometimes you sacrifice precious vacation time tagging along your travel partner while he/she pursues their interest.

You don't have to be stuck in a contemporary art museum when you can spend time barbecuing your body to desired doneness at the local beach, or vice versa. Also, if like me you have a penchant for traveling off the beaten track, a travel partner with a different viewpoint is the last thing you need.

A valid myth on traveling solo is that it's more expensive. Most prices for excursions and lodgings are usually quoted based on double occupancy. Unfortunately, if a dorm room is not available during your stay, you have to fork over extra cash for a single room.

This is by no means a valid indicator of its quality. It is not uncommon to end up paying a princely sum for a broom cupboard masquerading as decent lodging. Note that not all establishments provide single rooms, so be prepared to pay for a double room. The good thing is, aside from some privacy, you don't have to hear a roommate's snore.

Solution: If you're on a budget, always look for a dorm room. In some places, the proprietor will put you up on the same room with up to three complete strangers in a quadruple. Although sleeping in the same room with strangers sounds rather unsavory, know that a great deal of others have done it without major, if any, complications.

In a nutshell, if you decide to travel alone, be very well prepared. Read whatever you can on the places you're planning to visit. Choose a good guidebook; I find Lonely Planet and Let's Go books really helpful.

Take note on customs and current headlines. You don't have to be overzealous when it comes to security, but do use your head. It is never safe to flash wads of cash or walk around drunk in the middle of the night, whether in Sweden or Sierra Leone. It pays to chat with locals. They are better in telling you what's safe, what's not.

Then sit back and enjoy the ride.