Frustrating traffic

Talk, talk, talk is all they seem to do on the future policy to improve traffic conditions in Jakarta -- a Rp 5,000 parking fee for the hour, even and odd number registration plates for different days of the week and the three-in-one system. Has the traffic improved? Is driving in Jakarta at all safe? Of course it is ...

The police are indeed well trained and efficient. They are renowned for camouflaging themselves on streets. The moment a driver violates traffic regulations, police will stop you with the sound of their whistles. Don't worry if your car is not equipped with an antilock braking system, they are well trained in ninja tactics to avoid themselves becoming a road hump. Drivers will learn about traffic regulations at a cost depending on the type of vehicle that they are driving and how much change they have their wallets. This also comes in a package of tactical bargaining lessons.

In order to be consistent with traffic regulation training, road signs and traffic lights are also beautifully camouflaged, or at such a peculiar angle that one does not notice them unless they are pointed out. They are usually written in such a manner that they can only be read from a distance of not further than two feet and even then it is difficult to understand what they mean.

To assist the situation at road junctions, traffic regulators in uniform are present. Dressed in anything from a police uniform to singlets, shorts and thongs, all carry high frequency whistles. They traverse and shuttle between vehicles, directing traffic with a hand signal like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Indeed, most important is the sound of the whistle which, with the same beat and tone, could mean stop, go, turn, or Rp 100.

The state of vehicles on the road is amazing. Cars, buses, trucks and motorcycles appear all over the place. Some vehicles are adorned with flashing lights like a Christmas tree. Some have no lights but emit thick, black smoke with an occasional roar from the rear. And then there are five people all squeezed together very tightly on a motorbike. But they all have incredible honks. Hence, drivers are trained to respond to the surroundings. They put on their shades when they drive at night, just in case the vehicle in front has got a large white tail light or stinging laser beam to blind you when they step on the brake. Loud honks are installed to blast everything that gets in the way.

JODY DHARMAWAN

Jakarta