Finding a life partner a dilemma for modern-day Romeos

By Agni Amorita

JAKARTA (JP): Would Romeo have been willing to die for Juliet if she was not as beautiful as Liv Tyler? How about if she was not as smart as she was, or as dumb for that matter? Or if her family was not so well-off?

The chemistry involved in detecting the presence of Miss Right is surely not a simple thing for modern-day Romeos.

Famous singer and television actor Thomas Djorgy said he falls in love as easily as some people fall down.

"I do believe in love at first sight because it has happened to me several times. My heart began throbbing as soon as I saw those girls. But when we started talking, uh, the magic slowly disappeared. The longer we talked, the less I was attracted to them. I just don't get it," the still single idol said.

The 27-year-old Djorgy would have no such difficulties if he had a time machine to take him back to the days when arranged marriages were common. At that time, the young had no problems finding a spouse because everything was arranged by their parents. And Javanese parents went by their bibit, bebet and bobot (breed, wealth and social status) standards to choose Miss or Mr. Right for their children.

Similar customs could also be found in other part of Indonesia. The word love was not much discussed. But then the wind of change blew across the world, and most people were given the freedom to look for their soul mates.

Today's young people are not only more educated, but also more financially independent. There is an increasing number of young Indonesian women and men who fill strategic positions in the country, and some of them are still single.

"I do believe in love, but if there is no harmony with a woman I prefer to stay single," admitted movie director Enison Sinaro.

The 40-year-old Sinaro, who has never married, disagrees with the common assumption that age is the ultimate concern for tying the knot. "To share feelings is the most important thing. If the woman can talk with me ... solve various problem with a similar vision as mine, then she may be my Miss Right."

Sinaro, who has been known to date beautiful women, though none of these relationships have lasted, explained the importance of a harmonious vision.

"A lack of it will create continuous conflict. At least the couple has to start from a similar perspective. I have seen some of my friends get married without thinking about this, and they just failed to maintain their relationship."

In other words, he needs somebody who is smart enough to understand him. Even the international Romeo, Puerto Rican Ricky Martin, wrote on his official website that his type of women was "a smart" one.

A similar opinion is shared by Tunjung "TJ" Saksono, MTV Indonesia's operational manager. Describing his Miss Right, the 28-year-old said: "After having the chemistry, she has to be matched with me spiritually. At least she has to follow my conversation easily because this will lead us to the most important thing, having fun together."

When it comes to a woman's career and financial status, TJ said it did not matter to him whether she was more financially secure than him.

"I think we have said goodbye to the era of material girls and boys. Some people still think this way because the young have grown up as a practical generation. As long as a partner doesn't prove to be a burden, which can happen because of different financial levels, the relationship will be easier. But I believe we will all take such differences as a consequence of love," he said.

It seems that Juliet can always go back to school and climb as high as she wishes, because now there are more open-minded Romeos out there, everywhere.