Expat wives

I am writing to refute Rosaline's misconception (The Jakarta Post, Dec. 4: On decency) that "we all know it is like a dream for expatriates who live in Indonesia. They have all the comforts imaginable, an easy life, lots of money."

Show me an expatriate male with an easy life, and I'll show you someone whose company will be sending him home soon; he's obviously not working hard enough. It is we expat wives who are living the dream; we are the ones "enjoying the high standard of living with drivers and maids".

But our dream can be a nightmare, too, because our husbands are so overworked, overstressed and overtired that they are turning into frustrated boors like the one in the Pondok Indah Mall parking lot (Show some decency! on Dec. 2).

We, too, would like to say to our husbands: be yourself. Because most of us know that the men we married have mentally divorced us and are now married to their jobs.

CAROLYN EMMETT

Jakarta