Executive sex on the rise as monogamy loses its luster
Executive sex on the rise as monogamy loses its luster
JAKARTA (JP): Promiscuity and extramarital affairs are on the
rise among executives, the majority of them men, a sexologist
believes, but sleeping with prostitutes is increasingly
disdained.
It presents a trend, not a moral issue, to the executives,
Naek L. Tobing told a recent seminar organized by Bisnis
Indonesia daily and Lions Club Jakarta.
"Executives do this in a very discreet way," he said.
Tobing said the practices had become more common in the last
15 years and were hard to curb, even with a fatal sexually
transmitted disease to worry about.
"The AIDS epidemic does not discourage them. Instead, they are
looking for well-educated partners as they avoid seeing
prostitutes."
He estimated that 80 percent of the executives who engaged in
promiscuous sex or adultery were men.
"This makes sense since women usually think about the greater
risk in such affairs, like pregnancy.
"Based on the data from my clinic, I have indications that
some 80 percent of executives have enduring extramarital
relationships, 10 percent have occasional relationships and
another 10 percent have permanent partners."
Government officials are among those who have promiscuous
relationships, he said.
The frequency usually ceases after the age of 50 as most men
experience declining sexual desire.
Men found reasons to justify their philandering.
"Some think that, as executives, they deserve extra pleasure
as they are not 'ordinary people'. They think that if common
people can marry two women, so they have to have two wives and
two mistresses."
Others know that many women are attracted to them, even if
much of the enticement is derived from the material trappings of
their success.
"Many executives do not have to try hard to get women who are
not looking for money. The women are fond of gifts, romantic
dinner or romantic sex. They enjoy and are proud of that. Many
women like executives very much as they are rich and have branded
items."
Some men stray from the marital bond because they claim that
their wives are sexually dysfunctional, such as frigid, or simply
due to boredom.
"Many men fail to abandon their premarital behavior; having
sex with more than one partner. That is why they still see
someone else when they are married."
Psychiatrist Fidiansjah termed promiscuity and extramarital
affairs as mental disorders.
Sex-related disorders include gender disidentity, sexual
dysfunction caused by nonorganic disease, psychological disorders
and paraphilia, commonly known as sexual deviation.
Paraphiliacs usually have unusual sexual fantasies or behavior
to derive sexual gratification, he said. Fantasies occur
repetitively and involuntarily.
Another speaker, humorist and owner of a herbal medicine
factory Jaya Suprana, said men were victims of sexual myth.
"Sexual myth is one of the improper myths in this postmodern
age. This is about masculinity, that men must have great sexual
potency. They engage in affairs to prove it."
He said it should be remembered that the primary function of
sex was procreation.
"Humans can still live without sex, so we have to avoid being
enslaved by sex."
Promiscuity and adultery can have wide-ranging consequences.
Tobing said many executives were reluctant to buy condoms
because of their efforts to keep relationships secret. "Sexually
transmitted diseases (STD) is one of the risks."
He believed about 50 percent of men in continued extramarital
affairs would lose interest in their wives, and only a few of the
women would succeed in reestablishing the relationship.
Men may suffer sexual problems, such as difficulty in
achieving or sustaining erections, in their marital
relationships.
Other problems, such as the threat of blackmail, could not be
dismissed, he warned.
Physician Lula Kamal said STDs were the most common risks of
straying from a monogamous relationship. She named fungus and
protozoa, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes and
HIV, the virus which leads to AIDS, as major problems. (icn)