English: A tricky language indeed...

JAKARTA (JP): Hoechst, a world leader in pharmaceuticals and agrochemicals, urges us to pronounce his company's name as "Herkst". Well, here's a multinational giant who boasts of being a great innovator in health care products, yet couldn't even invent a name which is less difficult on the tongue!

A 12-year-old girl was filling out an application for a foreign language course. When she came to the question "Mother tongue?" she became perplexed for a moment and, after a little hesitation, decided to answer "Pink".

Another interesting anecdote concerns a nervous little immigrant woman who, upon arrival in America, was asked: "Do you advocate the overthrow of the government of the United States by subversion or violence?" She frowned and decided to make her choice: "Violence!"

The impact of English on other languages can be equally devastating. In Japanese, the letter "l" is pronounced as "r". So, "I love you" becomes "I rub you". "Th" is pronounced as "s, sh, j or z". "I think so" becomes "I sink so" or "I shink so." "Thank you" becomes "Sunk you!" Because "v" is pronounced as "b," a simple "thank you very much" is delivered as "sunk you berry much," Furthermore, all Japanese words end in vowels. "Bed" becomes "beddo", "desk" becomes "desiku", "hotel", "hoteru", etc.

Similar confusion in English pronunciation occurs in Indian languages as well. For example, in Bengali, "v" is pronounced as "b". This often results in funny expressions. "Why is Mr. Varadachari wandering in the veranda?" would be asked thus: "Why is Mr. Baradachari bandering in the berandah?" In the same language, "s" sounds like "sh". So the Bengalis might sing "God shave the Queen!"

American English is unique in its own way. When Americans refer to someone as being "homely", it actually means he or she is plainly unattractive or even ugly.

Even English language teachers may meet their Waterloo at times. In an elementary school, the English teacher asked a student: "Abdul, say a sentence beginning with "I". Abdul started to say "I is ..." The teacher cut him short. "No, Abdul, you must say "I am". Abdul corrected himself, saying: "All right, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!" Another lady teacher asked a student. "What tense is 'I am beautiful?'" The student promptly replied: "Past tense!"

The Indonesian language is a happy blend of many languages. Any foreigner visiting Indonesia for the first time will find at least a few words from his language included in this language. In fact, any language you name -- Sanskrit, Dutch, English, Arab, Tamil, etc. -- you'll find a number of its words in Indonesian vocabulary. The English script used in Indonesian also simplifies understanding. The Indonesian language is still young but rich in content, with great potential for continuous growth.

Indonesians, I observe, would like to copy the American accent while using English. TVRI's English News Service is a case in point. Sometimes, we just can't make out what the news is all about and we have to wait for the CNN clippings usually shown a little while later. If there can be "Singlish" (Singapore English), "Hinglish" (Indian Hindi English), Malaysian English, Nigerian English and so on, why don't we introduce one more version: Indonesian English?

English, like any other language, is only a medium of expression. One need not necessarily become a master before practicing English in day-to-day conversation. Communication and understanding are the keys -- not grammar.

Perfection is a pain, and an obsession with perfection is sheer agony. You neither become the best nor good, because "the best" is always the enemy of "good". I exhort all Indonesians to start using English (unmindful of the grammar) in their conversations among friends and acquaintances. Or they may do so whenever they have a chance to communicate with foreigners. Aren't content and message more important than grammar? I am sure expatriates would only be too willing to give support and encouragement. After all, don't Indonesians tolerate foreigners who speak Indonesian wrongly?

-- D. Chandramouli