English a queer language

Byron Black's column The Listening Post makes interesting reading. In The Jakarta Post dated June 16, he highlighted some wrong usage of English in Sekolah Pelita's ad.

There was once an ad in an Indian newspaper which read: "Stainless steel water filter gives germs, free crystal clear water!" Another classified as in another newspaper said: "I'll help you plan new home or remodeling. Why make your own mistakes when I can help?"! A South African paper carried this ad: "Assorted aluminum widows for sale"!

While some advertisements end up carrying humorous import, there are a few good ones which are really thought-provoking. Let's see this ad, by one of the world's leaders in two-wheeler manufacture -- Bajaj Auto Ltd., India: "leadership thrives on restlessness -- why follow when you can lead? Leadership, like truth, always surfaces."

Another one of their ads reads: "The best way to predict the future is to invent it. The future arrives at Bajaj Auto, ahead of schedule. You'll soon experience what it is like to take the future for a ride."

"Take the future for a ride" -- see how skillfully the ad's copywriter meshes these words into an ad for a leading two- wheeler manufacturer!

A headline in a Bombay newspaper described India's defeat by Finland in Football tournament "Indian Finnished!"

Talking of headlines, how come your own headlines on the front page of the Post of June 17 state "U.S. to asses labor conditions in Indonesia"? What's that? Come again "asses"?!

Well, a Frenchman learning English said to his British tutor: "English is a queer language."

What does this sentence mean? "Should Mr. Noble, who sits for this constituency, consent to stand again, he will in all probability, have a walk-over"!

D.CHANDRAMOULI

Jakarta