E. Timor women must tell of RI atrocities

E. Timor women must tell of RI atrocities

Karen Campbell-Nelson, Researcher, Commission for Reception,
Truth-seeking, and Reconciliation (CAVR), Dili, East Timor

Women's experience of the conflict demands special attention
and reflection because, as the stories of Beatriz and the other
women at the public hearing suggest, it is different from men's.
Stories of rape, sexual slavery, forced marriage, and sexual
torture -- not only at the hands of Indonesian police and
soldiers, but also those of the other parties in the conflict,
Fretilin and UDT -- make clear that women are sexually vulnerable
in a way men are not.

Because women are socially constructed as primary caretakers
and nurturers of children, guardians of the hearth, healers of
those in pain, their social identity is derived from their
biological roles as those who give birth and nurse. When they are
sexually violated, it is not only their bodies that suffer; their
very identity as women is attacked.

This, then, is a part of women's suffering. Many women
continue to suffer physical trauma -- they cannot give birth or
only do so painfully, their sexual organs are scarred or damaged.
But also damaged is their sense of self. How can they come to
accept themselves as whole women if they or others feel their
sexual abuse has soiled their reputation and moral character for
life? How can they heal?

"Reconcile" comes from the Latin word re-conciliare. It means
"again-make friendly". Indeed one of the mandates of the
Commission for Reception, Truth-seeking, and Reconciliation
(CAVR) is to facilitate a process whereby relations among those
estranged from each other can be reformed and enemies can become
friends once again.

When I consider the experiences and trauma of women in Timor
Leste, my understanding of what reconciliation might mean for
women is aided when I reflect on another word -- integration from
the Latin word integrare, to make whole. What I observed during
the public hearing on Women and Conflict was women yearning for
integration at three levels.

First, women who suffered abuse during the years of conflict
in Timor Leste are at once victims and survivors. We celebrate
their courage, fortitude, resourcefulness, and strength when we
recognize them as survivors. But we must also recognize them as
victims who long to be healed.

Listening to women who shared their experiences I was reminded
the healing process may take a lifetime, but it is supported when
women are given the opportunity to tell what they know. Telling
what they know enables women to take steps towards personal
integration.

They need to hear they are valued and loved and to have their
questions answered. When one participant expressed concerns about
the status of her marriage since her rape by a militia commander
in 1999, it was healing for her to hear one of CAVR's National
Commissioners, Father Juvito, tell her that rape cannot nullify
her marriage.

Telling what they know to others who want to listen helps
women place the abuse outside themselves where it can be seen,
heard, and whittled down, piece by piece, rather than allowing it
to eat away at them from the inside like a silent cancerous
growth.

Second, by telling what they know in public, women also become
integrated into the truth-seeking and reconciliation process in
Timor Leste. However, given the burden of patriarchy it is not
enough simply to make opportunities available to women along with
men.

The opportunities must be especially for women, something that
requires planning, preparation, and often an inordinate amount of
support and encouragement for women. The proceedings of this
public hearing were broadcast live over national television and
radio.

This will hopefully encourage other women to come forward with
their statements, to tell what they know to members of CAVR
district teams throughout Timor Leste so that their perspectives
and experiences are integrated into what would otherwise be a
male-dominated process.

And once women are integrated into the process, the stakes for
reconciliation are raised. Take Beatriz. Ideally she would
receive support for herself and her children from the fathers of
her children. Since that is not forthcoming and it is unlikely
the Indonesian military will compensate Beatriz for her
suffering, then it falls to religious and political institutions
in Timor Leste to address her situation.

But what about her friends and family? The men of her
community who pushed her into unwanted common law marriages, not
once, but three times? Beatriz still lives in this community and
has made enough peace with herself and others to continue living
there.

But to integrate women into the truth and reconciliation
process demands acknowledgement of uncomfortable truths about
local communities. The Commission might ask itself: What would be
a process of reconciliation for healing this dimension of abuse?

Third, the recent public hearing also suggests something about
political integration. At the conclusion of a testimony by Maria,
another woman who was yet to tell her story, Victoria,
spontaneously arose and came forward, making an impassioned
confession.

She admitted to having been involved with the Fretilin
fighters who tortured Maria. Victoria yearned for public
confession and forgiveness. Victoria approached Maria and hugged
her and Maria hugged Victoria in return.

When the women who spoke came together from different corners
of Timor Leste and began telling what they know to each other, it
became apparent to them that what was common about the violations
they suffered was that they were politically-motivated, were
instigated by men, and mostly perpetrated by men.

Although some women, such as Victoria, were drawn in as
perpetrators, the political, social-economic, and personal
disintegration due to conflict in Timor Leste must be seen as
driven by men of all political persuasions and in that sense, no
men won as a result of the conflict.

Without the stories of women to balance those of men, whatever
political integration may exist for Timor Leste will not be
total. The truth will remain distorted and reconciliation may
only contribute to a future in which men's friendly relations
allow the violation of women's human rights to continue.
Reconciliation in Timor Leste must seek to make individuals,
communities, and the nation whole.

After years of so much fragmentation this is not easy, but it
must be done for shattered lives and communities cannot be swept
away like glass. Some women began piecing together fragments when
they spoke of gender-based violence at this public hearing.

The process remains a fragile, yet beautiful one. Listening to
these women tell what they know was at once a painful and
strengthening experience that helped me to better understand how
such a small country could survive such a history of pain.

If the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, then Timor
Leste's future promises to be a great one as long as the women's
parts are told, reconciled, and integrated.