Dragged home for the holidays by the force of tradition
Dragged home for the holidays by the force of tradition
If only the campaign by the Corruption Eradication Commission
(KPK) -- which bans state officials from receiving valuable gifts
in connection with their positions -- could also be applied to
families, my shopping list would be much shorter right now.
A week before the Idul Fitri holidays, the list is becoming
longer each day. My top priority -- to buy new clothes for my two
children -- has extended to my nieces and nephews. My two
designated pieces of luggage are already overflowing, with many
more items still to be packed.
"Do we really need to bring all of these?" my husband asked.
I did not reply. I looked once again at our crammed schedule.
Nov. 12, leaving for Semarang.
Nov. 13 afternoon, to my parents-in-law's house for takbiran
(Idul Fitri eve) and the Idul Fitri prayer the next morning.
Nov. 15, to my father's family gathering.
Nov. 16, to my mother's family gathering.
Nov. 17, to my father-in-law's family gathering.
Nov. 18, to my mother-in-law's family gathering.
Nov. 21, back to Jakarta.
None of my nuclear family will have time to relax over the
"holiday", since the gatherings will be held in different cities
in Central Java.
Learning from bitter past experience, in which we had to
travel about 450 kilometers in about 20 hours two years ago, my
husband decided to convert his van into a "playground". He has
prepared a carpet, a thin mattress, a thick bed cover and lots of
toys and dolls to keep our two children occupied during the trip.
Complaining to my husband about the planned journey -- and the
logistical nightmare involved -- was no good.
"We didn't celebrate Idul Fitri at home last year," he argued.
"Well, we were at our own house here. Isn't it 'home' too?" I
replied.
"I'm going home with the kids. If you can't take leave from
work, then you'll have to spend it at home alone."
From an aristocratic Javanese family, it is not easy for me to
evade the family traditions and customs. Our status is still
reflected in what we wear or drive.
So, although I would prefer to make the rounds in jeans, T-
shirt and sandals for Idul Fitri -- I managed to do that last
year! -- I have to dress up, put my makeup on and wear jewelry to
show to the extended family back home that my husband and I are
quite successful in Jakarta.
When I calculated our spending for homecoming -- including
gifts and travel expenses -- I thought that I should make a visit
to People's Consultative Assembly chairman Hidayat Nurwahid, and
apologize for not being able to follow his thrifty campaign.
I had put aside a sum of money for alms, as ruled in Islam,
but when I saw the final figure for all the trip-related
expenses, I had second thoughts.
Couldn't I just transfer some money to my extended family (who
don't really deserve the gifts, actually) and give more to
charity from the trip savings?
But imagining my relatives' reaction to me as the "outsider",
unwilling to come home for the holidays, quickly got rid of that
idea. I also have to admit that my resolve to be a more practical
and "selfish" person when I moved to Jakarta nine years ago is
quickly forgotten when it comes to Idul Fitri.
People are already flocking to railway stations and seaports
in the rush to get home; soon, we will see a packed Soekarno-
Hatta International Airport, and long lines of cars and
motorcycles along the northern coast route to Central Java. And
in one of the vehicles will be my family, doing our best to get
home for the holiday.
What can I say -- the homecoming is a tradition that cannot be
broken. -- Harini