Don't criticize your host

I have been following with a kind of twisted fascination a series of letters that have graced your paper over the past several months and feel a need to comment, thus assuring your readership that not all expatriates share the same opinions.

I have been in Indonesia for the past six years, both as a consultant and more recently, as a tourist. I appreciated the opportunity to come initially and assist with the ongoing development of the national communications infrastructure. I appreciate now the ability to return as a guest and enjoy this nation in time that was not previously available to me. One thing that I have never overlooked, however, is that I am a guest here. As a guest, I must appreciate the culture and social structure of the host, Indonesia, just as I would ask any guest visiting my home.

We all have opinions. When I feel a need for advice or guidance, I generally seek the advice of those I consider to have more experience, insight or knowledge than myself, those whose opinions I respect. Unfortunately, many perceive their opinions to be useful even when unsolicited. In a public, democratic environment we must tolerate these opinions, regardless of their source. Within our homes, however, we do have more control. Should we choose to entertain guests for dinner, they will kindly eat when the meal is served, not when they feel the need to help themselves. Should we invite guests for the weekend, they will kindly use the beds we have prepared for them, not our own simply because they feel it might be more comfortable. I could go on, but the point is if our guests do not feel that they can visit given these constraints, they can always choose not to come.

Getting back to opinions, at the same time that we are entertaining our guests we will likely engage in some discussion about one thing or another. All of a sudden my guest offers an unsolicited opinion on how I have arranged my furniture, or my preference of artwork. These comments are received and if negative, patiently tolerated, after all, my guests will be leaving. If however, they persist and there is no indication soon that my guests will be leaving, it then becomes time to expedite their departure.

In this time of social and political reform, Indonesia needs constructive advice and guidance, not destructive criticism. What we need to do as trained expatriate professionals is offer this advice, if qualified to do so and only if asked. Similarly, as decent people, we should avoid unsolicited criticisms of our hosts, after all, we are just guests in this home we call Indonesia.

DAVID WATSON

Medan, North Sumatra