Don't criticize your host

Don't criticize your host

I have been following with a kind of twisted fascination a
series of letters that have graced your paper over the past
several months and feel a need to comment, thus assuring your
readership that not all expatriates share the same opinions.

I have been in Indonesia for the past six years, both as a
consultant and more recently, as a tourist. I appreciated the
opportunity to come initially and assist with the ongoing
development of the national communications infrastructure. I
appreciate now the ability to return as a guest and enjoy this
nation in time that was not previously available to me. One thing
that I have never overlooked, however, is that I am a guest here.
As a guest, I must appreciate the culture and social structure of
the host, Indonesia, just as I would ask any guest visiting my
home.

We all have opinions. When I feel a need for advice or
guidance, I generally seek the advice of those I consider to have
more experience, insight or knowledge than myself, those whose
opinions I respect. Unfortunately, many perceive their opinions
to be useful even when unsolicited. In a public, democratic
environment we must tolerate these opinions, regardless of their
source. Within our homes, however, we do have more control.
Should we choose to entertain guests for dinner, they will kindly
eat when the meal is served, not when they feel the need to help
themselves. Should we invite guests for the weekend, they will
kindly use the beds we have prepared for them, not our own simply
because they feel it might be more comfortable. I could go on,
but the point is if our guests do not feel that they can visit
given these constraints, they can always choose not to come.

Getting back to opinions, at the same time that we are
entertaining our guests we will likely engage in some discussion
about one thing or another. All of a sudden my guest offers an
unsolicited opinion on how I have arranged my furniture, or my
preference of artwork. These comments are received and if
negative, patiently tolerated, after all, my guests will be
leaving. If however, they persist and there is no indication soon
that my guests will be leaving, it then becomes time to expedite
their departure.

In this time of social and political reform, Indonesia needs
constructive advice and guidance, not destructive criticism. What
we need to do as trained expatriate professionals is offer this
advice, if qualified to do so and only if asked. Similarly, as
decent people, we should avoid unsolicited criticisms of our
hosts, after all, we are just guests in this home we call
Indonesia.

DAVID WATSON

Medan, North Sumatra