Don't bank on a bank

Readers' Digest once published a joke about banks. A man wishing to do business went to a bank. The customer-service clerk was chatting on the phone, discussing new restaurants with her friend. After a few minutes of exchanging dark glances with the man, she told her caller, "Hold on a minute--I'm being interrupted by a customer!"

Alas, I went through a similar experience recently. I had money in a savings account in a bank in the downtown area. But I couldn't withdraw the money when I needed it most. Isn't it strange? Well, the other day I went to the bank, during working hours, to draw some cash. Not a single soul was present at the cash counters. On enquiry, the Security Guard said that all the staff were busy attending an important meeting and that it would take a while for them to return.

I waited for some time, and, since the staff didn't show up, I came away disappointed. It was a Monday--with the closure of banks on the previous two days (Saturday and Sunday), I needed the money very badly and ultimately, I couldn't meet my urgent requirement.

Anyway, later in the day, I went to the bank again, and out of sheer curiosity, I inquired with the staff concerned about the purported meeting. The "unconcerned" staff said that it was in connection with the taking over charge of a new Branch Manager that day. "Aren't the customers more important?" I asked. "Yes. of course," the staff admitted sheepishly. Obviously, they were under orders to attend the meeting. A bank is a poor umbrella when it rains! Right?

Sidney Sheldon, the famous fiction writer of our times, has a more colorful tale to tell, generally about bankers, in his novel The Doomsday Conspiracy.

A man went to a banker, pleading for a loan so that his young son could have an immediate operation to save his life. When the applicant said he had no security, the banker told him to get lost. "I'll go," the man said, "but I want to tell you that in all my years, I've never met anyone as cold-hearted as you are."

"Wait a minute," the banker replied. "I'll make you a sporting proposition. One of my eyes is a glass one. If you can tell me which one it is, I'll give you the loan."

Instantly, the man said, "Your left eye." The banker was amazed. "No one knows that. How could you tell?"

The man said, "That's easy. For a moment, I thought I detected a gleam of sympathy in your left eye, so I knew it must be your glass eye!"

D .CHANDRAMOULI

Jakarta