Does size matter to men -- and women?

JAKARTA (JP): It is not a subject for polite conversation, being too delicate an issue to be talked about openly except with a heavy dose of showy ribbing.

The last taboo? Perhaps not, but the issue of penis size -- and how they measure up to their peers -- is a deeply personal one for many men.

Complicating the equation is the notoriously sensitive male ego, with most men loathe to admit their fear of being belittled.

"Of course men think about it," said Greg, a 27-year-old American. "It's not something they talk about but it is something they care about. I think most men are interested to know if they are average or a little above."

Even the most down-to-earth among us take some prurient interest in what the famous look like without their clothes on. Notorious tales, many no doubt apocryphal, abound of well-endowed figures and those less fortunate.

Comedian Milton Berle was famed for his sexual endowment in Hollywood in the 1950s, but one of the husbands of actress Jean Harlow reportedly killed himself 20 years earlier because of his deficiencies.

The widespread availability of pornography, with extraordinarily well-endowed stars such as John Holmes earning icon status, has further blurred the definition of "normal" penile length. Sex researchers Masters and Johnson in their copious studies on male sexuality put the average for American males at about six inches (15 centimeters).

Men who feel they come up short, including in Indonesia, will go to almost any lengths to increase their penis size.

An array of herbal potions, creams and gadgets hold out hope, beckoning from the "Medical Treatment" classifieds in the country's largest tabloid daily, Pos Kota. One treatment -- a combination of massage with special oils -- seems to have performed such wonders that it has led to a host of copycat imitators using the same name.

Others bank on more modern methods.

From all walks of life, in ties or dungarees, a diverse assortment of men files through the doors of a small office tucked away on a small street in Chinatown. Their shared goal is not so much a desire to stand shoulder to shoulder with their fellow man, but more to meet their own conviction that size, regardless of the soothing words of others, does matter.

When they emerge an hour later, it is with more than their pride pumped up.

The process is almost communist in its utilitarian efficiency, as inhibitions and shame are left at the door. Customers are ushered in to one of a long row of small cubicles, furnished sparsely with a chair, side table and clothes hook. Pants are pulled down before a worker liberally applies Vaseline to cushion the application of the suction pump, which proceeds to tug and pull for the next hour.

Does it make a difference?

Regular customers swear by the treatment, which they say appears to cause at least a superficial lengthening of the penis. But they admit a side effect is that it leaves the penis looking like it has been put through the wringer.

If regular pump treatments do not do the trick, customers with the cash can consider the more radical step of penile implants.

But the lowdown on penis size perhaps does not lie with the bruised ego of a man who remembers coming up short in the junior high school locker room or who has grown up surrounded by daunting examples of "real men" from Western pornography.

The real verdict lies with women.

The traditional view is that most women are more caught up in the emotional and sensual aspects of lovemaking, with physical endowment considered a secondary concern.

But one woman vouched that a partner's endowment did matter.

"It was something important to me when I was younger and first going out with men," said Lauren, 30. "I was interested in being satisfied, so I cared about how big my partner was. Now, other things, such as affection, are perhaps more important to me, but that comes with getting older and wiser about relationships."

Another woman said physical attributes were only part of the package.

"It may be important to some women, but I think it is more important that a man is caring and loving," said Vera. "I mean, there is only so much you can do with a penis. How a man treats you is more the issue."

A man willing to admit that he was a pauper, not a king, when it came to physical endowment said it was never a major concern for him.

"Obviously, I would like to be bigger, but I would also like to have a better job and a better salary," Josh said.

"I never really thought about the fact that it was average until one day I saw my younger brother coming out of the bathroom and realized he was considerably bigger than me."

He said he rarely thinks about the subject, although he admits to being shy about baring his body even to his partner.

"I wouldn't say that has much to do with the penis size thing, but more about who I am anyway. I mean, if somebody doesn't like me for that reason, well, it's alright then, I'll find someone else." (Bruce Emond)