Divorce via SMS threatens marriage

Divorce via SMS threatens marriage

Chok Suat Ling and Farrah Naz Karim, New Straits Times,
Kuala Lumpur

In mere seconds, a blissful illusion of marriage -- or
whatever that's left of it -- and all efforts put in to nurture
and build a marriage through its accompanying trials and
tribulations over the years can be totally and effortlessly
erased.

All thanks to high technology -- the same technology that the
country has pursued feverishly and with unabated vigor.

Although the Government on Wednesday decided that declarations
of divorce via the short messaging service or SMS and other
electronic medium like facsimile and e-mail are not valid, the
court still has the last say.

A precedent has, after all, been set, and it will remain in
place until and unless legislation is formulated to bar couples
from bringing such cases to court, or if the judgment is
overturned by a higher court.

The use of the SMS by Muslim men to declare the talak (divorce
their wives) was deemed valid by the Gombak Syariah Court last
Thursday. It must, however, be verified by the court.

Under Muslim law, the right to declare the talak lies solely
with the husband. Such declarations are usually made orally or in
writing. Allowing the talak to be pronounced via SMS is, as such,
a landmark decision by the court.

While the court decision is not being disputed, there is
concern that it will invariably open the floodgates to similar
cases in future. Women, and even men, are worried that the "green
light" given to husbands to declare the talak via SMS will lead
to a situation that can serve as a threat to the very foundation
and sanctity of marriage.

The wives are naturally worried that husbands will use the
court decision to their advantage, and cases of divorces via SMS
will become widespread in future.

As even Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad has said, serious
matters like marital problems and divorce should be handled in a
more personal way.

Deputy Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi was succinct:
Orang tak nampak, muka tak nampak, tiba-tiba datang SMS kena
cerai (the person is not seen, face not seen, suddenly a SMS
message comes through announcing the divorce)." Women's
organizations urged husbands, even if they are contemplating
divorce, to accord their wives one simple thing -- respect.

Respect is, after all, the cornerstone of any marriage, and it
should be paramount when making any decision affecting it.

Wives ought to be given due respect, even when divorced, and
sending text messages via the mobile phone is an act of absolute
disrespect and must not be allowed to become the norm.

For Women and Family Development Minister Shahrizat Abdul
Jalil, the act is not only an insult to women but can serve to
tarnish the image of Syariah laws besides giving a bad impression
of Muslim men in Malaysia.

The recent incident, she said, was a case of a "bad apple"
giving Islam a bad name as in actual fact, Muslim men in the
country uphold the Islamic spirit, are generally caring and have
the greatest respect for their spouses and mothers.

Wanita UMNO treasurer Azizah Abdul Samad feels it is important
for couples to respect each other, whether or not they are
divorced, if not for their benefit, then for the sake of their
children.

Penang Wanita chief Saripah Aminah Syed Mohamed has this to
say: "What do they take us for, perempuan jalanan (cheap women)?
It is downright degrading to us." She said that if men could
brave all challenges before securing themselves a wife, they
should be "man enough" to divorce their spouses face-to-face.

Fearing irresponsible men will take advantage of this "easy
way out", she said the conventional way of divorce, through the
proper channels, must be maintained or the country will be
saddled with a soaring divorce rate.

Even though many parties have now come forward to express
their concern over the court decision, the reality remains that a
judgment has been made and it will, whether they like it or not,
serve as a precedent.

But all is not lost. What can still be done is to make
husbands aware that it is best they not "take advantage" of the
situation.

Polygamy, for instance, is allowed by Islam but husbands
intent on taking on more than one wife are reminded, constantly,
that it comes with certain great responsibilities. And when
taking another wife, men are advised to treat the existing one
with the utmost respect, and inform her in a "proper" manner. Is
it too much to ask of men to apply the same principle when
divorcing their wives?