Divorce shakes traditional Vietnamese family structures

Divorce shakes traditional Vietnamese family structures

By Le Thang Long

HANOI (AFP): Divorce is becoming more common in Vietnam, where
traditional family values and structures are being eroded with
the advent of new lifestyles born of the country's economic
opening.

In Hanoi, a bastion of conservatism, the number of requests
for divorces topped 2,500 in 1992 and 3,000 last year, according
to statistics provided by courts in the capital.

Nationwide, requests exceed 10,000 each year.

In a sign of the times, women filed three quarters of all
divorce applications, at least in the cities, according to a
recent investigation. Courts granted more than 90 percent of
divorce petitions.

"Women are becoming more and more autonomous within the
family, as in society," said Nguyen Phuong Minh, vice president
of the official Union of Women.

Women's increased independence, which has spread to both city
and countryside, is most visible among those between 30 and 50
years old in this nation of 72 million people. This is the
generation that was reared during the dark years of war. The
trend is especially evident within the two extremes of the social
scale.

Couples now usually cite "reasons of convenience" for
differences leading to separation: social milieu, salary, age,
tastes, and lifestyle. In the past, they were more likely to
argue that reasons of war or an arranged marriage warranted
divorce.

Women are less willing to tolerate adultery, conjugal violence
and other "social plagues," such as drug addiction and gambling,
say sociologists.

Each year, more Vietnamese women -- now numbering in the
hundreds -- marry foreigners. Some apparently aim to gain a
passport to a better life in the West or elsewhere in Asia.

"I hate men who are rude and brutal," testified a young bride
in Hanoi. She said she discovered her husband had cheated on her
after three months of marriage. "They are all like that," she
added.

Divorce rate

The women's weekly Phu Nu Vietnam attributed the rising
divorce rate to the unwelcome influence of Western culture that
was entering the country through the import of books and
videocassettes that "display sexual freedom and exalt
materialistic values."

Many Vietnamese have joined a frenzied plunge into the
pleasures of money and consumerism since the country began
experimenting with market-oriented reforms in the 1980s.

The social costs of the breakdown of the family have been
heavy in impoverished Vietnam: 300,000 orphans and 50,000 minors
on the streets, often abandoned at the time of separation,
according to the Foundation for Assistance to Children.

Divorced fathers are reticent to provide care for their
children or financial assistance to their estranged wives.

The wheels of justice are powerless to force divorced fathers
to make the payments, in spite of regular calls made by the
Committee for the Protection of Mothers and Children "to
reeducate irresponsible fathers."

Thousands of women who flee their homes have no other choice
than to become prostitutes to feed their children. In response to
the rise in divorces, the Union of Women, which claims 11 million
members, has formed reconciliation groups in cities and villages.

Slightly more than half of divorcees are remarried, said the
union. A spokeswoman added that the group deplored Vietnam's
"longstanding feudal spirit" and a resulting society where "men
are respected and women are scorned."

"I prefer to live alone with my child rather than flinging
myself into another marriage," said 35-year-old teacher Do Huyen
Linh. Abandoned two years ago, she said bitterly that "it is
really difficult to find a good husband in this base world."